wrestling with the same old devil
year after year after year after year
I've had it with me
so long
I don't know where
it ends
and
I begin

I promise you my name has never sounded so lovely until it was on your lips

i used to think i was in love
but the depths of that ocean were dangerous
the surfaces were calm and peaceful
but the further i plunged
the darker it got
i became ensnared in the trappings and twistings of you
the storms were always on the horizons
but you convinced that this was how love was
love didn't equal trust

but oh, darling how i've learned to swim in much sweeter waters
the storms are never brewing
the depths are translucent and clean
because
he is much better than you

I want to capture this feeling in a tiny glass vial
And send it you
And maybe when you get it
You can have a little taste
And maybe if I'm lucky
You'll say
You feel it too

i don't like capital letters
their formal figures towering over the others
belittling
mocking
always looking down upon
oh, capital letters
i am tired of you saying i am not good enough
because i know why you hold your nose so high
it's so that you can't smell the rotting of your soul

i love the sound of the rain and the smell of you

My chest is filled with black
But is it filled with black?
Or is it so empty it's black?
I can't tell because
The blackness has spread to my head
And all my axons have stopped firing