A bottle of beer in front of you,
it promise you to blow away your pain,
your insecurity,
your heartache,
drink a little bit..

Now, you're alone in your room,
even though you refused to be alone tonight,
you have no one, admit it.. you're lonely..
drink a little bit..

It's rain outside,
you're staring out of your window..
you start to sob,
you're just too tired to face this rude, rude world..
drink a little bit..

You buy this cheap beer,
just because you will easily fall asleep when you're drunk..
and you hope tomorrow, you can smile again,
like tonight is never happen..
Well, your beer promise that..
drink a little bit..

Tonight, you refuse to think about that man..
the one who makes you think that missing him is a mistake,
because you know that he doesn't even care about you..
now, drink a little bit more..

Your bottle is empty already,
so how?
*Does you beer really blow your pain away like its promise?

Maybe someday, some things that are too good to be true will become one of your biggest struggles

Maybe in one point of time, you learn how things work.
People change,
People go.

Maybe when everything is not in your favor anymore,
you will learn how to survive, instead of just giving up.

Maybe when everything is a mess,
you will learn how to be stronger,
how to forgive,
and how to let things go.

Maybe the story is not as beautiful as you want to be,
but when you know that he is the right person to be with,
Why would you even think twice to just sit and understand?

Maybe everything is not as magical as when you first started everything,
but you know he worths your struggle, then why even bother?

Everybody change, it is inevitable.
but you know yourself which one is worth the pain, and which one is not.

So she met her first love,
Today
In a hot Sunday Morning
After a long long while.

Her heart still skips the beat,
She smiled at him,
Shy; just like 10 years ago;
When she was only 13.

She thought, she’s over it.
Yeah, she’s over it,
But, first love never really truly dies.

..or does it?

”I think I’m in love with him.”

She finally got to admit.
At least to her true self.

”I think I’m in love with him.”

She whispers,
To her phone.
Even for today,
she keeps it “good night.”.

The moon rise,
it appears in a beautiful dawn sky..

The sky is getting darker,
as the stars start to blink their shine..

I saw you there,
At the corner of the alley,
waving to me..

And I know for sure,
It's gonna be a good night.
Your smile is calming me down,
as I walk down to you..

I'm falling for you,
*all over again..

She met that Taurian last summer.
When everything was a mess;
He came to her life in a blink of an eye and made everything so much brighter to her.

She cherishes her day from that very moment.
She always convinces herself that he is the one that God sent her to be hers.
She knows that he is the one.

But she was young and stupid.
She lost him twice,
because of her own stupidity.

She thought, there is somebody who's better than Taurian.
So she left him, without a trace.
She is wrong.
and you know, you can't treat Taurian that way.

This Valentine's day,
When she's trying to make things right,
he replies her,
"Nope, it's okay. I'm your friend."

and from that moment,
*she knows, she is doomed.

He's the memory she wants to forget.
A Summer Fling;
The one that still makes her wonder.
It's Him.

She opens her eyes this morning,
It's been awhile since She thinks about him.
In her dreams last night, everything looks so vivid.
Everything looks so real.

Are dreams made of what we want to happen?
Or is it just don’t actually mean anything?

She promised to stop thinking & talking about Him.
Let her break her promise just for today.

He looks so handsome in her dream.
He smiled at her. and she smiled back, awkwardly.
He drove her home & they talked about many things
Things that she cannot remember when she woke up.

He drove her home & smiled.*
Thing that is never happened in the real life.

If she insists that she didn't love him before,
then why is she still wondering?

I'm the girl who writes.
I write everything that comes to my mind,
I write everything that I felt.

pain,
uncertainty,
reality,
broken heart,
questions,
and sometimes, nonsense.

They are all sick of my words,
They cannot deal with my poems,

Maybe deep down, they know, that is the truth.
they know exactly, that is the current situation.
or maybe,
they just tired with all of my nonsense.

They can blame it all on me,
because today I realized,

No, I'm not a cynic nor a skeptic.
No, I'm not bitter nor a cold-hearted.

If I cannot write a love story,
If I skip them in my poems,
If I write bad things,
If I curse or intimidate them with my words,
deal with it.

Because one thing for sure,
When it comes to the right one,
I know I can write about love,
about falling in love,
about cheesy romantic things.

*It's not me, it's them.

Imagine,
We are now in a labyrinth.
A big labyrinth, and we have to find the way out together.
Yeah, We can give it up, and just walk out from the labyrinth without finish it.
(break the wall or ask for someone's help.)
But, Would we?

Right from the start, we don't make a really good team.
We fight too much,
We cry to each other too often.
But we both know what we really want,
We want to fight and finish it together. as a team.

But, then..
We both tired. and We disjunct.
We are apart, I don't know exactly where I am,
and I don't know where you are.

We just scream out each other name.
We run in a circle. We don't know anything.

I'm tired, You either.
We sit separately somewhere in a labyrinth.
Well, maybe We are too tired to find the way out.
Well, maybe We should give it up.
but, Would we?

To the brokenhearted,
I promise you, things will get better.
The rain will stop, and the Sun will shine again.
Get up, stand up, then move on.
They said time will heal eventually,
yes indeed.
Someday when you finally able to take a few step forward,
take your time to stop and look back, reflect.
I promise you, you will smile. You will be so proud of yourself.
Maybe if you are lucky enough, you will find someone who will help you to mend your broken heart. Someone who helps you to find all the pieces of your heart,
and when the time has come, you will love again.
Or maybe, you are by yourself, mending your own heart.
But that's okay. You will be fine. You will learn a lot of yourself.
and You will learn to accept, to love, and to respect yourself more.
When the time is right, I promise you, he will come.
He is the one that makes you love like you never been hurt before.
Not in the fastest way, not in the easiest way,
but I promise you, he will.
I promise you, he will love everything about you, cherish every moment with you, and respect you a lot.
He may not a prince charming, but he knows how to treat you.
I promise you, to love someone is to not hurt yourself.
Maybe he is not the one that you expect him to be,
or maybe he is exactly the one that you've been looking for this whole time.
He will make you fall head over heels yet you feel secure at the same time.
I promise you, you will find a brother, a best friend, and a lover for you.
A whole package. The one who gets you excited, the one who makes you deeply in love, the one who makes you feel so loved.
The one that makes you feel that talking to one person is enough.
I promise you, he will make you forget all the pain, all the sadness you've been through before.
He will make you forget all the love story, all the love songs, and all the memory you had before him.
Being with him is all you want. and you are willing to face things that may look impossible.
I promise you, you will find him.
Maybe he is your best friend, maybe he is someone new.
But sooner or later,
I promise you, you will find your one.

I am here writing to you
not because I'm so confident about myself,
nor I know I would be that kind of successful-motivated-woman,
who will achieve that richest-most successful woman-under 30.

I am here writing this
Because I have the same anxiety,
the same concern as all of you.

But I know
as the sun will always rise in the east,
We have new chances,
we have a new story to write,
we have those 24 hours to hustle again.

Everything will fall into the right places.
all you have to do is pray, hustle and live.

know your strength,
know your weakness.
No one is perfect,
and that's totally okay.

You don't have to find everything out, overnight.
no one ever does.
baby steps,
but keep moving forward.

Be better than yesterday,
learn from yesterday, but don't take a step back.

It's okay to stop.
sit down.
take a rest, and breathe.
Contemplate things that happened before.
learn from it.
then *** up, take a step ahead.

No one really knows what they doing.
So do I.
We are all pretending to know what are we doing.

So, focus on your own garden.
Their grass may be greener just because of the grass is artificial.

If today you are sinking, tired, and frustrated.
Wipe your sweat.
and take a rest.
Have a good rest.
As tomorrow you have to try again.

Cheers!

You always said,
you've learnt,  you've changed,
that you are now better
I do see it,
But I don't believe it.

.. You will be always being you:
Shallow;
Inconsiderate;
Dishonest.

Cz recently,
I finally found the last missing pieces of the puzzle;
At our last moment though, you still lied to me.

Well, I guess that explains all,
Liars gonna lie
.

Fact is,
someday he's gonna find somebody,
who's prettier than you,
skinnier than you,
smarter than you,
BETTER than you.

Face the reality,
Someday he won't be that excited anymore with you.
maybe, he will be interested with another girl.
and unfortunately,
maybe, he will be so much in love with her.

You can't expect him, to be always in love with you.
and it's okay.
It's not your fault, him either.

it's a process.

you can see,
if he's the right person for you,
he will defeat all the boredom,
all the flattery,
and all the other things that make him away from you.

because in the end,
Love is no such thing like, a romance.
**Love is a commitment, and companion

& Tonight
I kneel down
& pray
& cry
hard.

For everything is not in my favor.
For everything seems didn’t work out.
For everything is useless.

I’m just tired, you know..
Trying & failed
I’m just too tired
& I didn’t want to live this way.

who are you
I asked myself;
As I didn’t recognise myself,
Anymore.

I was there,
sitting on a bench,
hearing the sound of the wave,
I was at the Seashore.

I was there,
waiting for penguins to come out,
but looking up to the dusk sky.
I was so cold.

I was there,
sitting beside my first love,
silent but sure,
I wasn't in love anymore.

I was there,
waiting for the moon to rise.
a beautiful dusk sky changed into a dark starry night.
I'm in love with somebody else.

I hope moving on was that easy.
I'm a believer of "time will heal eventually"
but this time, is different.

One day, you finally realised that
couple shirts,
matching tattoo,
or even promise ring..
won't guarantee anything.

Someday, you finally see that
promise can be broken,
commitment can be denied,
and love fade.

I've been swallowing the bitterness & *******,
what could be more bitter?

My heart has been broken multiple times,
what could be more painful than that?

I've been tricked on,
lied on,
betrayed on..
It is life.

One thing people should remember,
at the end of the day, all you got is yourself,
No one should & no one would ever help you.