Hormones raging...for what I'm told not to engage in, even if we're engaged, if it's not official than its still revealed as...fornication. There's a disturbing underestimation of the result given for this particular sinful demonstration, society has taught us that we test the car before we drive it, but the 1st issue with this analogy told is that we're comparing human sin to...driving a vehicle? But if we're going to establish analogies on this subject , then, well, why don’t we also consider these: do we begin eating Thanksgiving dinner before were done saying grace? Do they hand out diplomas and degrees for classes you haven't passed yet? Do they give Super Bowl trophies to teams expected to win? So how do we justify receiving the prize of an unmet process? Far too many have allowed marriage to become an afterthought or not even a passing idea our better judgment caught because man had rather receive a temporary pleasure that sin conceives birthed in disobedience, deceptive grip around your conscience until your choked by the demands of a lustful flesh that wants to be fed in continual expedience. Or...Maybe, I’m just being a hater, fighting not to be twistedly envious and curious of a world that I’m forbidden to embrace.  Or Maybe I’m fighting...the temptation and frustration of being a single man patiently searching for that good thing and the favor my Father blesses along with her. Maybe I’m fighting...not to nosedive into the bottomless trap laid for human souls, lured in by lack, of self-control. It troubles me in just how simple... he brags and boasts then plots and plans his next victim in the desecration of his and her Creator’s Temple. But It’s not all his fault, because it was up to her to give him the key to this priceless location better known as her body.

The sun shines on us all, as well as the rain

Torrential downpours of pain, we lose and we gain

We veer into cliched territory to verbalize our response to more tragedies that a lost world continues to offer

The signs of the times the Holy Text forewarned becomes ever more visible...except to the blind and the Scoffer

Why does the blood of the innocent and unknowing continue to shed for the next man’s awakening of his own imminent flatline?

At times I, picture myself in someone else’s fate, how would I have handled myself in that same place?

How would I have responded with bullets suddenly flying around me as potential dead bodies surround me, in that unexpected moment of truth...which characteristic would have ultimately found me? cowardice...or courage?

I find myself at times discouraged by my struggle with self-assurance in knowing that my demonstrating answer would have been in the latter rather than the former

How many times have we entered into a school, mall, concert venue only to have a passing or pressing thought enter into our conscience only to ask “what if I’m not supposed to make it back out alive”?

I often wonder if Rachel Scott struggled with these internal inquiries in the years, months, days, hours, final seconds before she stepped foot on that columbine soil destined to receive her call to became a maytr for the Gospel she lived...and died for.

What exactly are we dying for? Are we dying to self? Or because of it?

Whether our final earthly breath is due to a natural cause or one unsuspecting...what are we dying for?

Many people will not be able to answer that question…until it is forever too late...

My spirit wants to do right, but the flesh is unwilling to comply. That's why it must die. Daily. Crucified. All the affections and lusts, crushed with the weight of his Spirit hear to comfort mine own until this mind disownes every thought that exalts itself against the one on the Throne. Adonai, El Shaddai, Elohim, thou most High, Prince of peace, never cease, to amaze, the Blood connected to the earth and awoke men out of graves/I refuse to be sinfully enslaved, hiding in dens and cavs like the ones his goodness tried to save...I understand you Paul, you did what you didn't want to and didn't do what you should have did, yet the Master forgives. I wanna live burden free, no hurt in me, I don't want to subconsciously hold on to the flair of dramatics, rejecting a life lived peacefully while repetitious requests prayed vainfully asking God to take the pain away yet rejecting his orders so the pain can stay. In a twisted way, some people depend on there own misery, no matter how much they complain about it. Because its either what they know best or all they know, and familiarity can be a mental, emotional and spiritual ******* that most...can't let go...well Lord im willing. I'm willing to let go of the past that you already have a long time ago. I'm willing to see myself through your eyes. I'm willing to allow you to turn this anger into joy, this easy irritability into long suffering, this pride into honor, false humility into the one we clothe in..im willing to allow all the pain the sting of rejection gave me over the years, to place shamelessly in your healing hands, im willing to give you the violin, that I've used to play the songs for every pity party thrown within, Upon personal request, while partly oblivious, to the world around me is dying in sin. Lord, continue to help me locate the man I was always suppose to be. Reveal him to me. Describe him to me. Develop me into him. He's been waiting for my embrace for too long. And I'm ready..to put away Childish things..

Strange to a wicked land
Won't use life's bad hand
As an excuse to sin again
But then again his inner man is unexempted
From mistakes made at times when his flesh is tempted
He chose to live right
Chose to tithe, chose to give right
Chose to use his words to edify instead of incite
Heated discussions that may escalate to something worse
But he used his words to bless a life instead of curse
Encourages others, even when he needs it more than them
Because a love inside was given by the one who died for him
His next relationship will be the last one he seeks
When God directs him to his future wife slash help meet
They'll raise a family in the perfect way God designed it
With his Word being the foundation there aligned with
And through it all, he'll understand his righteous life's a vapor
Then will fade into the everlasting arms......of his Savior

All aboard the straight and narrow train that rides into forever

We get off at different times but we end up altogether

In a place above us, with many mansions prepared

For us to live in mortgage free with new bodies to wear

Returning to my first home, wear I lived before birth

Which is why I felt as if I was a stranger on earth

Just trying to find directions to the train station

That would take me back to my Father's house where he remains waiting

So I can reunite with Dad and all his perfect glory

Not to mention Ms. Mills who got off the train before me

And we'll find each other worshipping Christ

Because we couldn't afford the ride back home, so he had to pay the price

A disciple cannot be antisocial. Or introverted. How can we when our command is to reach out to those who for so long we've tried to avoid? Tried to protect unexposed insecurities instead of overcoming them. How do I get ME out of the way so I can see you? And every thing your going through. Your soul is more important than my feelings, and as I die out, I must first take the 'I' out.

When you’re left with more questions than answers, When you’re mind suddenly becomes a war zone With your soul on the front line, it’s like land mines of temptation planted to detonate every time, with every...mis-step, when your thoughts align with this flesh, You slowly drown In a swamp of distress/But out of this mess I receive the hand of the lifeguard for my soul, Pulling me out of this self deprecating toll...

But right now the truth hurts..the truth is what I thought was right for me was wrong for you...the truth is the image I had for us is shattered..perhaps for good this time...the truth is I wrong about you..I was wrong about us..the truth is I knew that when you told me you weren't ready for marriage, one day you would be..for someone else..the truth is I'm tired of being the guy that women like you are not ready for..the truth is this pain feels so real right now..the truth is my heart hurts so much right now..the truth is I know I'm going to get over you one day..the truth is you were not really what I'm looking for in a wife anyway, no matter what these feelings and emotions are telling me..The truth is why does it still seem like I'm not good enough for you, even though the one God has for me will be so much of a better fit for me than you could have ever been..the truth is your still my sister (in Christ)

Could it be your falling in love?



Or are you lovesick of the notion from deceitful arrows made with Cupid's potion

Biased against reality, better judgments non existent when theres no resistance... Against a temptress

Slick, lying tongues, attracking ones, found with good intentions

Turned sour than devoured from one ill informed decision






Because you didn't listen or pay attention to warnings given

As you gave heed to flesh and emotionalism

Let the Holy Spirit give them TRUTH, to let the lies fall to the way side

When your love is redefined

Revive backslidden hearts back to your righteous ways. Wake up those in lukewarm slumbers. Remove fear and resentment of rejection from us. Help us to Love people who look, behave, smell and talk differently than we do. HELP US TO SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE LORD. THE SMALLER ONE HAS HELD OUR ATTENTION LONG ENOUGH!

My mind's yet to comprehend what your Spirit is speaking through me,
My mouth is speaking words in a language unknown to me
Whether alone or in company, I begin to release
unlearned tongues that leaves my heart in a place of perfect peace
A sign to unbelievers that this gift is true
But help me bare the fruit of understanding of what it is I'm saying to you..Help us to tap into this power, made for every Spirit born man..to receive what we requested, through the language our mind has yet to understand..

Someone once wrote....love oh love, stop making a fool of me..
but the truth is, it wasn't love that made a fool out of you
It's was your emotions and feelings that misguided your love for someone who wouldn't cherish and honor it...this is the plight we unnecessarily fight when we trust in flesh instead of light...

I was told that when you point the finger at someone else, then 3 are pointing back at you. At first I thought this was a clever phrase used by an otherwise defensive person deflecting unwanted criticism from themselves, until the pride crushing wisdom behind this statement riddled my self perception with humbled point bullets one after one. Harsh realities never forewarned the ignorance I had in me, thinking the world was how Id imagine it be. But I realized the truth and revelation of my Father's Words goes ever deeper than the 1st time I've read or heard, without the full understanding or comprehending of what was told that holds a greater weight than an unregenerate soceity knows and even though there is much I do know, what I don't know, is so much more. So why am I trying so hard to be understood when the advantage is in those who understand? What I understand is that the desires of this temporary flesh wrapped around me has no regard for the condition of my eternal soul. What I understand is envy becomes a battle against my spirit man at times when I see a beautiful couple. I’d be lying if I said The sight still didn’t sometimes sting me with a painful reminder of what my feelings keep telling me I’m still missing.

Theres a way to move pass the past that doesn't want you to embrace your present or see your future., I'm pressing my way to get there. I'm inching closer even though this flesh tells me I'm still so far...

Or is it just the image of the view that I don't quite see.

Convinced that you were the perfect fit for me

Based on the qualities I desire in a wife to be

I thought I saw this in you
But maybe it was just me....

....Looking for the next best thing to cure this condition of singleness, tired of the waiting period.. waiting for the next written sentence to begin...Tired of conclusions ending in "let's just be friends"


It seemed like the perfect timing

Now I'm trying to hold on the silver lining.

Why did God allow you into my life?
Why did he allow me into yours?

A pictures worth 1000 words, depending on how you frame it

What if satan’s biggest lies was under the guise of entertainment?

What if the pinnacle of loneliness was when the whole world knew your name?

What if the person you were supposed to be, never met the one you became?