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 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
She told me that
You cried when
You told her what
Happened to me.
That she's never seen a
Grown man cry over
A young girl like that.
That she's only seen two
Other men cry in general.
That you really must
Care about me.
My teacher cried over me? Oh Mr.S, you really do care(:
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
I've been stupid lately.
I do dumb things and I
Act dumb.
That's just me
But sometimes
It's uncontrollable and I
Feel bad.
You deserve to be treated better and
It's obvious that I need to work on
That.
Sorry bubs,
I will try harder.
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
Julia
I wake up, it's noon,
I bounce around my mind to find
that it'd be better if you were here,
but I'm not alone anyway.
Endless options sing me songs
as I dance around an empty house,
seemingly infinite.
I hear Emily Dickinson's call of irony
"Dwell in Possibility"
from a girl who never left her home
Perhaps, I, now, should do it too--
dwell, but never pick a road,
as Robert Frost did.
Maybe I will stay idle
& watch my choices melt away
as I let time run free,
crawl into bed & watch the
sun slide across the blue
& call today "No Paths Were Traveled"
From spring break
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
Therapist 4
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
Thank you for
Listening to me the whole hour.
We need more than an hour you said,
You think we should have
Two,
Even three.
I smiled at that thought,
It'd be nice.
You said that you do think I might be
Lesbian and that you
Accept me no matter what.
You told me you get it,
That you understand.
Man,
It's nice to not
Want death so much
In that one room
With you.
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
This is how it works in
My brain:
If I cut my hair,
I won't cut myself.
I'll take it out on
My hair and
It won't mean a thing.
But on my wrist it
Somehow means I'm
A monster.
Well, my hair is cute apparently but my wrist isn't...
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
InLove000
Your Beautiful Eyes Were Looking At Me Today
Telling Me I Love You
I Wish I Could Have You
Your Stares
Are Making Me Love You More
I Just Want You
You Said You're Gonna Offer Me A Ride
But Because Of My Friend Said That I Must Stay With Her
My Eyes &
Your Beautiful Eyes Looked At Each Others
As If They Are Talking!
Remembering What Happened The Last Time You Drove Me Home
Your Beautiful Eyes Were Smiling Looking Onto Mine !
When We Were Alone&You; Asked Me Again
I Explained Why I Won't Go For A Ride With You This Time
Because Of My Friend
You Said Okay
I knew That You Were Not Happy
From Your Spoken Eyes
When You Said Bye I Said Bye
As If As I'm Not Gonna  See You Again
When You Walked & Then Stopped
I realized That There Is Something Wrong !
You Turned Around
&
Asked
Are You Coming Again ?
Am I Going To See You ?
I Said Yea In A Loud Voice Then
We Both Smiled
What A Man !
I've always dreamed
of standing atop tall buildings.
I guess the romance with height
stems from my small stature.
There is nothing more seductive
than peering over, toes on
the edge, and knowing the
one and only outcome of a
misstep.

You can run the risk
of saying the wrong thing
to the right person, but
when leaping from a skyscraper,
one will always find
you fall.
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
Oh Dear God
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
Oh Dear God,what do I do?
My heart won't stop pumping
And it's all because of you.

Oh Dear God, what do I say?
Why am I suffering?
Will I ever be okay?

Oh Dear God, if you're up there.
I can't feel the warmth you send down,
I can't feel your stare.

Oh Dear God, I'm trying to do what you say.
But my life is difficult and
I'm trying to pray.

Oh Dear God, help me please!
My heart has been open for
You to come and cease!

Oh Dear God, please **** me now.
For I am miserable here and
I will allow.
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
Scars
 May 2013 Peyton Smith
R
I've been told that they
Don't show much.
Why does that make me
Want them to then?
To make new ones,
To show that I've been through things.
It feels like I'm
Asking for attention when I
Pull down my sleeves
But then it doesn't as I'm
Slicing my skin open.

What am I doing to myself?
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