I run my fingers over the scars,
that line your wrist,
and I smile,
thinking that they are parking spots,
for my wayward hands.

and your voice I hear it still,
and I follow the sound of your whispers,
dancing in the echo of my hollowed out heart,
and my innocence reverberates against all I know,
against all I know now.

we laid together under a canopy of stars,
and the fear of getting caught the mosquitoes of our existence.
we stood close to the fire hoping we'd get burnt,
seeking the danger in desire, just to feel,
and we exchanged hearts communicable disease...

the split wasn't even..
it never was.

"And I am hurt.
I am pain.
but I walk with raw emotions,
like tethered strings,
wrapped 'round this heart.
and I am strength;
mindless in pursuit.
I walk. I wander.
Knowing what I want,
unsure of your desire.

I'm a puppet on a string,
and you're the unknowing master.

I sing symphonies in my sleep,
driving passion effortlessly.

and as this war rages,
I throw my body in front of you,
with out thought.
Just the rhythm of my love for you,
ringing in my ears.

And there are holes in me,
and it is how it should be.

One thing I regret,
that I failed to make you see,
hang up the strings love,
this is my offering."

Always saying I love you, baby.
But they’ve only been together a day.
Captivated by the way the
Darkness of each other’s pupils grow
Every time they touch.
Forcing the kind of relationships, but more of the
Groping, that they saw in the movies.
Heated make out sessions in the church youth room, with
Intensity that could make strippers blush.
Juxtaposing every inch of their bodies.
Knowing what to do only because of what they
Learned in health class. Trying to
Master the art of *** and what they call love,
Not caring who knows. Living off each
Other’s breaths. Fabricating
Plans and stories for their parents when they’re caught
Quietly sneaking back into their
Rooms at four in the morning,
Shutting their doors and their eyelids,
Tracing remnant goose bumps.
Until the sun shines into their windows,
Violating their dreams of Cinderella and Prince Charming,
Washing the night from their skin, and shoving their
******* memories to the back and hiding them in a drawer.
Yearning to be touched again, by whom ever the next
Zephyr can blow into their neighborhood.

I stay up hours on end,
Just thinking.
They ask, about what?
They all ask
How are you?
How was your day?
Expecting the truth.
Yet every day
My response
Is the same.

I'm good, I say.
I'm alright, I say.
Will it ever change?
The ongoing lie?
Will I ever fit the image,
That everyone has of me?
That charming girl with the smiling face?

Darling,
I'm a liar.
I guess I've gotten pretty good.
Will I ever act the way I feel?
I wonder if I ever should.

Let me share with you men
A truly bad idea
I know this girl I badly wanted to know then
So I obviously had Ideas
Little did I know, this beauty had her own
She stared down and asked “My dear…?”
“Yes?”
“You’d truly be blessed if you walked me into this shoe shop… “
“Which one?”
“…this one right here.”
I heard the warning bell go off
But told my conscience “Go to hell… show off!”
So off we went… I mean, in we strode
To the aisle with shoes she couldn’t afford
She tried them all
They tried her back
I almost cried there at the mall for lack…
Of foresight
And thought ... ‘All night we’re stuck in here’
And I swore the next time I was attacked by ‘pretty power’ I’d put up more of a fight
She just grinned from ear to ear
Jumped up and said… “Oooh! See the ones in RED?”
And I shed a little tear
Suffice it to say, we stayed three hours
I left drained of all my super powers
As I left I saw the jealous look from another trapped fellow
And an attendant whispered in my ear…
“Lucky you, she’s kept him here for seven hours.”
So guys...
The shoe shop's your biggest fear.

And I am beating at the windows,
banging at the door,
clawing at skin,

and I keep talking,
hoping you'd hear me,
and let me in.

And I don't know where you're going,
I don't know where you've been,
or how we got here,
and your breath was my breath,
and I don't know how it got so bad,
I don't know how I'm still breathing,
and I re live every hurt,
every pain,
and you've run along,
you mixin' passion and lust with new addictions,

I just wanted to save you,
you were searching for destruction,

You never loved me...
you never got past the pain.

You never loved me babe,
I'm not even sure you know how.

we live as opposites,
my words and I,
and we shape one another,
in our struggle to survive,
and we are different,
my words and I.*

I hold my arms out,
to carry you,my love,
But I am screaming, NO!
against you,
against all the things you've put me thru.

It is simple,
but you complicate this,
breath,
in/out/in/out

I squeeze my eyes shut,
against the vision of your scars,
I ball my fists in effort,
straining against your gravity pull,
I ball my fists to end,
what would be another chapter,
never ending, falling deliciously,
falling into what I have always known.

Lights on,
No sign of a camera.
Not tonight.
Three minutes of bliss,
Or three decades of love.
By all means pay for her bed.
Release.
If you must.

You do not pay with money,
But you pay for her bed.
A love built to last forever
Where time is paid instead,
You pay for it together.
Love is the word of the day.
Where two become three
The creation of a daughter.

Pay for her bed.
So small, so innocent.
Such ignorance of life,
Such bliss,
It's Heaven sent.
Pay for her bed
18, 19, 20 years strong
Daddy's little girl
Doesn't remember that long.

Pay for her bed,
That's what she said.
Lovers love,
Actors act,
One ring on one finger
A one-sided pact.
Beauty encourages such ugly things
A boat full of roses,
That one diamond ring.
Just at her scent
He pays for her bed.
Eyes once were white,
Now painted with red.
Just one more payment,
Surrounded by her scent.
Unable to repent.
Forever more
He pays for her rent.