she whispers words I've read,
she sings them in my head,
she dangles truth and tells me lies,
and I dance for her after every time,
and we are okay,
because she says she's mine,
I sway,
she pines,
and we do this all the time,
she shakes me,
and I find her laugh can wake me,
just as every lie could break me,
and it's madness,
this sadness,
but she says it's
love,
but I don't know how to tell,
there are days I skim this hell,
and I wonder of another heaven,
where the sickness of your mind,
actually leaves you well,
this is my heaven,
it just happens to be mostly dark,
and only sometimes light.
but you make me feel
BRIGHT.VISIBLE.WANTED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN WANTED.
*you call this love but I can't tell.