I had a dream the other night
that I held my heart in your hands.
I stared down at in grotesque fascination
watching its pumps and shudders.
The pleasure I felt was never so great
in savagely squeezing
and feeling the blood
trickle down my hands
hearing the far-off scream in the distance,
a sweet sound of agony
as I imagined your gasps and splutters,
as I wrung out your heart for
everything you had ever done
and threw it into the dirt,
watched it shrivel into itself,
before spitting in the general direction
and walking away to find
your body, cold and lifeless, pale,
your chest still ****** from
where I shoved my hand through.
I watched the life dwindle out of your eyes
as I began to laugh,
laugh
as God help me I laughed,
with excitement and cry with anticipation, waking,
knowing someday I’ll hold your heart in my hand,
and stare at it, and squeeze.

You're the only one,
who tells me
I am not the problem

There is nothing wrong,
with me, you say.

We've got a plan,
one day.

One day.

I only write about love and sadness.
Is that all I know?
Is it sane, or madness?

Music.
When I listen
My eyes glisten
My ears perk
My body jerks.
You make me smile
You make me sad
You make me dance
You make me mad.
Whenever I'm down
I plug you in
Then,
I'm found.

WHEN IT SEEMS LIKE ALL IS LOST
AND YOU HAVE NOONE ELSE TO COUNT ON, READY TO GIVE IN
ALL OF A SUDDEN, SOMEONE APPEARS
AND IT  CAUSES YOU TO TAKE INVENTORY OF THE  CHARACTER WITHIN

FOR ALL THESE YEARS, I DREAMED OF BEING WITH A REAL PERSON
SOMEONE THAT COULD REALLY ACCEPT ME FOR ME
YOU WERE ONE HUNDRED PERCENT UNSELFISHLY AND LOVING
I HAVE ALWAYS WISHEDTHAT YOUR  LOVE  COULD SET ME FREE

WHILE YOU SLEEP, SOMETIMES I GAZE INTO YOUR SOUL
NOT OFTEN WILL THERE EVER BE
SOMEONE WHO CAN TRULY LOVE AND BE LOVED
ESPECIALLY SOMEONE AS DIFFICULT AS THE LIKES OF ME.

THE DEEPEST EMOTION BURIED FROM A PLACE I'VE NEVER KNOWN
SUDDENLY, I ALL BECOMES SO VERY CLEAR
I'VE BEEN RUNNING FOR SO LONG. WITHOUT AN END IN SIGHT
THAT MY SELF-DECEPTION TURNS FROM COLDNESS TO ABSOLUTE FEAR.

IMAGINING MYSELF IN A TORNADO OF BLISS,
SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT I'D FEEL FOR REAL
NO MORE CONFRONTATION OF AGONY OR PAIN
THIS NEW FEELING OF TRUE LOVE STAYS STRONG, FEELING SO SURREAL.

PASSING THROUGH THE TURBULENCE OF THE PAST
USED TO CONFINE ME IN A STATE OF DISTRUST
BUT, NOW ALL THE PUTRID PAST LIES BEHIND ME
ALONG WITH TRUE PASSION WITH LOVE, CONTAINED BY HEAVENLY LUST

SO HERE ALL LIES RIGHT BEYOND THE NOW
SEEKING OUT TRUTH, NO LIES, NEVER WAVERING FROM REALITY
KISSES AND TOUCH, LOVE BEYOND MY BOUNDERIES
KEEPS ME TRULY HAPPY AND WITH NEVERENDING ECSTACY.

I WRITE THESE WORDS TO MAKE YOU SEE
I''LL BE LOYAL AND TRUE TO YOU
THANKING GOD FOR  EVERYTHING GOD BLESSES ME FOR
I USED TO BE LOST, BUT NOW I AM ONE OF THE CHOSEN FEW.

GOODBYE, I SAY, BUT NEVER DO I LEAVE
YOUR MERE PRESENCE PENETRATES MY SOUL
I FIND MYSELF AGAIN, USED TO NEVER RECOGNZE
FINALLY FILLING THE VOID INSIDE ME, FILLING THE IMAGINARY BLACK HOLD.

THE ONLY THING I CAN'T SEEM TO TAKE AWAY TO BRNG ME PEACE
CRIPPLED BY THE PAST, CAN NO LONGER GO ON
I TRDGE ON IN FAITH OLONE AND BY MSELF
AND THE MEMORIES OF THE PAST FIND THEIR WAY OUT AND FOREVER GONE.

I never understood why people call others a "goodie goodie" when they are helping someone out.
I thought people preached, and wished for there to be more "good people" out there in this world.

News flash.

There are "good people" in this world.

They just get teased, mocked and even picked on by jealous people for their actions.
They are seen as "*** kissers" , only doing "something good" to one up someone else.
Seen as self-centered people who only do what they think is best for them.

So the good deeds, the selfless acts, fade away.


Yet they are still called upon, only a few answer.

She fell in love with
the curtain he hung up
around himself;
with the gloss of
woven power.
She became deeply
infatuated with
the slippery silk
hunger of the facade,
obsessing over the
little lustful
beads.