sitting in the background of my backyard reminiscing of my past year
thinking about **** that was said gat me like smt yeah
****** dont get down but they wanna act here
life is just a show and we gat ya tickets in the back there
main eventing on some ******* stunting on some hoes
where my **** smoke blows "hell' aint nobody knows
cutting off ya air supply you starring in my shows
the irony in life makes us all grow
where we headed from here?
not even god knows
so im packing all my clothes saying goodbye to you *******
taking extra packs of back getting faded on you snitches
and where I end up only God can tell
where ever it gone be is what it is
nothings worst than hell
this is a farewell ******* PIGS **** the haters and the hassles
searching for life at midnight on the beach smoking **** building sand castles

I spent too much time wishing I would be someone I'm not
I wish I had smaller thighs
I wish I had prettier eyes
I wish I had cuter toes
I wish I had a better nose
I wish I had fuller lips
I wish I had smaller hips
I wish my stomach was flatter
I wish all this didn't matter
All this wishing
And compliment fishing
Does nothing to change my soul
I'm just trying to fill a hole
A hole created by this warped definition of beauty
But I'm unique
I'm no longer weak
No longer wanting to change
Something
all because
Someone
Somewhere
told me they swear
Unique
would
Never
Fall under this 'category' of beauty
But I am here to prove them wrong
And show that I am strong
And show I belong
And she
And we
All belong
in this 'category'
of  Beauty
no longer warped
no longer having to be worked
on
to be given the title
Of a *Beauty Queen

The day I buried
your memories,
you sent me a postcard
with your love written
in blood. And despite
the pain you've brought to me,
my hands couldn't fathom
how to drop this last piece of you
into the grave.

You left no return address.
No way for me to slap
you with the stinging
knowledge of how thoughtless
I considered you to be.
So instead I filled the
back of a Polaroid
with everything I never said,
and placed it in the postman's hand.

I told him that if
he ever saw the person
from the picture, and
placed the Polaroid in
his hand, that I would
pay him in stories about
a broken life.

Or if he preferred,
fifty one dollar bills.

My father tucked me in
               and kissed me every night
My father stood up to my closet
               to banish any fright
My father’s voice boomed with pride
               As he sang me lullabies
My father made my coin disappear
              Right before my eyes
My father told me I was perfect
              And beautiful in every way
My father taught me how to throw a ball
              And read to me every day
My father kissed me that night he left
             And said to keep my smile large
My father tilted his helmet back
             And left dressed in camouflage
My father told me he’d be back
             To kiss me again in time
My father is an honest man
            But that will always be a lie
For the night that ended his
          Was the night that changed my life
All of the grief and misery
           Could not erase the fact I know
It might be unfair to think
But my father’s killer
            Is another daughter’s hero

She rummaged around in my soul,
as though looking for a pen in a handbag,
and i was left wondering
how words had such a power over my being.

Left drained and fulfilled
Life's intentions bloomed inside me
and at once i felt at home in a darkened room.

Do not panic,
please breathe deep,
I beg you to hold your tongue,
I too have words to speak,
   no one to listen,
       and little faith in Prophecy.

A boy.
A boy,
Who's love I need to feel.
I'm not his girl
He's the love I long to steal.
His voice is the sweetest,
My ears have ever heard.
For him,
I'd do anything,
Say anything
I'd give him the world.

Even with my best intent
I let him slip,
Melting to sloppy wet drips
And flowing straight,
Through my fingertips.
Even when I tried to grab hold,
I grabbed, I jabbed, and pricked,
Still away he had surely slipped.

Oceans apart
However, close we are.
There's still a spark,
It magnifies every emotion
Heightens every notion
And through all the dark,
There is still a shrill
A deep, deep, shrill,
The life-giving *****,
Beats out of turn,
Even still.

I look into those deep dark vessels,
The Windows to your soul.
They search my flesh
They cry out,
Why?
Our future clear as sunniest of skies.
Though it's not a happy ending,
What a surprise.

Reality the way it always does
Creeps close.
It's wrong we know very well
in the heat of the moment, passion swells
We're both thinking stop,
But onward we march
Into this terribly beautiful yet tragic arch,
Of love and lust that cuts so deep.
Our brains know better, but our hearts,
They are weak.

Then it hits.
In that instant a vivid dream
Comes to me lucid and not quite serene.
Your lips dancing in time
With mine closely behind

Stop

You look at me and remember her.
I'm sorry I say "I loved you first"
"Love me" I scream
Without a sound.
The words pouring out silently
My wide and weary eyes
Say it all as they cry.
Kiss me again
To send me away so abruptly.
Would surely begin,
**My end.