i want your love
i want to feel
your heart
on my chest and
you breathing
on my neck i just need
you closer here still
your veins they
pulse with life i
wish we could share
bodies so i could
feel you
from the inside out
not just this entity
the facade of flesh
you put up unwillingly
i want to touch
your soul and make
love to your spirit
be one with your
thoughts
your fingers
trace my spine
your dna mixed
with mine we can
become one
on certain instances
only but it is not
enough i love you
too much for
human things
i am sorry but
i cannot get as close
to you as i would like
your bones got in
my way they were
too hard to break and
i am so weak
i just love you so much
that i need to leave you
i can't have you, i never will

watching a movie in class
and having boys crowded around your desk playing with your hair
and acting like it annoys you
but it doesn’t

window shopping
with a friend
pointing out wishes
making inside jokes

going to Mcdonalds with your grandmother
eating fries like British delicacies
chatting

those days on the bus
listening to music
the sun and bus
yellow
zooming along the streets

lying awake at night
sleeping over
hands being held over the abyss between two beds
swapping secrets
like fisherman trading fish

drawing
and liking it
creating something

and

tasting
something sweet

Don't cry, pretty girl.
You're beautiful to me
Don't cry, little girl
Stop for a moment and see
That everyone around you
Everyone, and me
Loves and  gives a **** about you
Someday you will see
That you're not the only one that feels all alone..
So don't cry pretty girl
Don't waste your precious tears
On people, ugly people that are ruled by there fears..

i like to think of fog as
a sweeping blanket of morose sorrow,
encasing my deepest fears;
i'm afraid that i'll recognize
my own face in the dimly lit
twilight of morning.

i exhale plumes of softly blown breath
from my parted lips
and wish you were there to
fill in the gaps,

yet you are so distant from me now,
and if we were planets i would be as pathetic as the moon,
orbiting you forevermore;
disappearing when you need space,
but always coming back,
time and time again.

i won't give up hope on you,
and you are strong
and you are smart,
and i believe in you.

you're my best friend,
don't leave me again.

the time spent hoping
for rain has been futile.
With each minute passing
second hand tumble our
memories become reduced
to questions, so as I’m
waking up in taxi cabs
wondering where the sky
went, I’ll think of your
lips ******* cancer and
your fingers holding
your future like a
crystal ball fortune
gypsy screaming “these
coming days will be
hard! Your lungs will
collapse and your heart
will turn to stone!”
But you smile and cough
and I imagine you
crying when I say
there is nowhere to go
from here. And now the
taxi man is demanding
a location, but I only
can give him snapshots
with sun-faded ink
cursive and he kicks me
out so I walk home
and try to sleep and
in the morning I forgot
what I did and who I
saw so I didn’t even bother
saying goodbye