this new year
instead of  "new year,new me"
let's make terms with our old shelves

you put on more makeup to hide the circles under your eyes you got by spending all night thinking why the hell didn't we work out?

i tried

but one afternoon,
when i was lying on the grass,under the sun with his arms around me, i looked into his eyes and had a déjà vu


only then
i realised how they much remind me of you

and how i never really got over you

i'm just angry that you
made me bitter about love

and somewhere between those
busy schedules                      
forgotten dates
unanswered calls
skipped dinners
cancelled plans
avoided eye contacts
and
unsaid words

they lost it

and now
two people once in love
are just two strangers
living under the same roof
with nothing but
deafening silence between them

you got me
caught up in this metaphor
that is life

and

now
i cannot fanthom
what is wrong
and what is right

and

if only i could be honest with you
i would like you to know

that

all these writing that i do
is just a distraction from you

i filled astrays with cigarette butts
hoping i could smoke you away

turned my lips blue
trying to forget the taste of yours

because the only way i knew i could
fill the void in my heart

was by having one in my lungs

@pt 11/21/16 6:58