I remember when I cut my hair
Because you preferred it short
Now you're gone
And I'm sitting here
Wishing it was long again.

I remember exactly
How your face felt beneath my palm;
Cool, and smooth.

I remember exactly
The texture of your hair;
bristly, and tangled.

I remember exactly
The feel of your  hands in mine;
Rough and worn, a gentle touch.

I remember exactly
How your lips moved as you kissed me;
Soft, but always too eager.

I remember exactly
When thinking of you;
Still so fresh against my skin-
And In my head-
And it hurts-

Because I know one day
You will fade.
And I...
Won't remember exactly.

A series of events
Once broke me

Deep inside. 

And I began to look into mirrors

Because I saw myself whole

Because I wanted answers

As if I could look into my own eyes

And see my soul.

My heart.

My mind.

But mirrors are cold.

And see only the surface.



And then again after him, 

I looked into mirrors. 

I wanted to know 

What was so wrong with me 

(Besides the obvious)

That he could lose interest 

So very quickly.

I suppose I thought 

If I looked hard enough

I’d find the answers 

And then at least I’d know 

And I could move on.

But mirrors are cold

And see only the surface.



And now there is you. 

And once again

I find myself looking into mirrors.

And I try to see what you do

Somewhere in the mess
That I always see.

I try to find what it is
That makes someone
As perfect as you

Want to be close
To a mess like me.

And I can’t.

Because mirrors are cold

And only see the surface.

If I could write my way to your side, I would.
I would pen my lips in soft whispers across your skin.
My fingertips would persuade you with every unspoken sentence.
The stammering of my heart on your mind-
Imprinting each and every black and white intention in your thoughts forever.
Each syllable of my trembling voice whispering in your ear, pleading with you.
I would caress you with my words.
They would flow like water;
swiftly, easily, further and further into unknown.
Faster and faster into this vast ocean;
Page after page of sweet nothing's...
I've captured your soul.
I own your mind.
Now watch me.
Watch as I tease at the plot.
Context clue, after clue:
Never enough to guess at the weight of the climactic end.
I will leave you in constant debate.
A metal war within yourself.
Do you skip ahead to satisfy your impatience?
Or savor every detail until the heart throbbing conclusion?
Can you wait for it?
Can you handle it?
As the earth falls away beneath us,
Can you hold on to me, my love?
Don't let go.
Not yet, my dear.
Clutch the covers and tug the spine,
Let the final words wash over us fully,
Together, finally.
Satisfied, relieved... Perfect.
Such a sweet ending.
Now collapse in bed with me, and recall our story.
Touch the paper gently,
And reflect on everything I've shared with you.
Sleep, and dream of me.
Wake and think of me.
And when you find you miss me,
Read this again
                and again
                          and again.

I never thought I'd miss
The things that made me stir.
The only noise now,
Is the distant electronic whir.
It whispers quietly;
Noticeably;
Somewhere from behind.
Just loud enough to drown
Your echoes from my mind.

That's all I want you know.
I wish I could always be the reason
That heart-stopping smile appears on your face;
Like sunlight breaking through the clouds.
I know that I can't always be...
And that's okay.
As long as you're happy.
And-
As long as you promise
To occasionally send a smile my way.
To warm my heart.
And brighten up my day.