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Pen Lux Nov 2014
*** makes me hungry
love makes me tired
don't drive a car?
hard to get hired
got a few small jobs
don't think I'll be fired
moving hard and fast
coffee's got me wired
*** makes me hungry
love makes me tired
he had heavy kisses
fiery big hands
quick and fragile
stimulation bound
a starved hound
who likes to pound
deeper and deeper
wants me screaming
*** makes me hungry
love makes me tired
Pen Lux Nov 2014
better to be silent
than say words
that are brittle
and break
under the
weight
of their meaning.

existing without living
waking and breathing
in short spurts of pain
too ***** to be touched
picked and scabbing
bleeding into dinner
kissing into sleep
choking
pushed away
love this is not
lust preserves the rot
my heart's in a knot
if only I was taught
Pen Lux Nov 2014
I read his poetry like Bukowski
religiously
I spent time drinking and *******

in protest to the aching inside of me
raking through old poems was easier
than writing new ones about the life
I was throwing away, because the
heartbreak was nothing but a wedge
drivingmeclosertothemistakesand
even further from the                       writing

I read his poems like I drink coffee
every morning
that I'm not feeling sick to my stomach
and I choke him down to spit him out
no longer masked or guarded
sparing courtesies
because the mysteries
weren't as mystical
as all the fantasies
used to be saying
it's good to look
and it's a privilege to touch

these lips ache in your absence
yet I haven't learned enough
Pen Lux Oct 2014
been a bit
detached lately
burns and cuts
running amock
waking up
face down
on the couch
reaching out
my eyes
wide closed
my hand
grabs yours
it's light
now leaving
barely seeing
dry heaving
after water
instant *****
fragmented memories
almost gone
don't
do
the digging
smoking
****
fading
out
no                          doubts.
until tomorrow.
Pen Lux Sep 2014
forever better
alone with production
forever better
attending to poetic tendencies

the skies cry as I write
smoke so thick that it puts fog in the corner
heavy winds and planes rushing overhead
lightning with no trace of thunder
the wind rumbles louder
sequencing with my stomach
as I ache for inspiration in every toxic breath
that follows after the fire spreads

I smoke with the earth
as my lungs bleed
together with my heart
Pen Lux Sep 2014
words are liquid
slowly drying on
each page and yet
I cannot write a thing
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