"I can't imagine more than I can imagine."

I'm going to start telling you exactly how I feel
to avoid all the others (feelings) that follow
when I keep secrets and try to make everyone as happy as
I want myself to be.

"I always think like this."

You're my reason(s).
you're the warm that I bathe in
and the chill that I hide from,
but at least we can talk serious
with our hands, and have fun with
our lips, and our tongues.
I can hear exactly how you feel
in the direction your eyes open to mine.

"You keep forgetting how to breathe."

We can't touch each other without pulling away,
we can't look, either, it's never close enough.

"****** tension?"

Interrupting thoughts:
legs.
yours. mine.
lips. *******.
hands. knees.
orange.
blue ink.
black ink.
everything about you.
that is me.
that I can't:
control.
myself.

"I can't express myself with words in this place."

even when I'm with you I miss you,
but I try really hard not to when you're gone.

I keep trying to love you less,
or love you different,
but I can't.

I need some more:
s                              p

                  a
     ­                                  c
        e.

I want some more:

s                              x.
               e

I wish: that you spoke softer
because I can't speak
any louder than this
and it's really hard
to try and find an answer in a kiss
and: it doesn't matter what time it is
you wont get your wish.


even though they can feel the darkness of a thousand years
my friends still believe in shooting stars//

and if you want to read this
then maybe you should close your eyes
or think about what we've talked about
or drink more coffee with less sugar
and walk so that you don't have to pay for rides
because that money could be spent on a ticket out of here.

Everyone knows you can make eye contact with glass as long as the lines are dark enough.
Lines. Not cracks.
You know the kind of lines that you only stare at because they're actually the scars on the side of a ******* addicts ***.
She talks about how thin she is
and looks down at her naked body
right where my eyes had been lingering throughout our conversation.
the fast paced dribble
seemed to only drain her more
and I couldn't help but listen.

We had the same color hair

She's the only one that caught my eye that night,
she was entertaining
and beautiful
and rotting
in the two feet of distance that kept us from touching.

You could tell by the way she opened the refrigerator door
that she doesn't like to eat,
and the shaking in her hands made you want to ask if she was okay.

Love:

the way the wind opens loose doors
a response whispered from eye to eye
my bleeding finger tips in your mouth
water: earth: fire: air: soaked in poison,
and completely fine.

I shouldn't have to think this hard to say how I feel,
but now that I know that you listen to what I say
I hide and stare at ceilings to avoid confrontation
because even though your back feels good,
I'd like to keep my pockets safe.

you're moonlight at 3am
and clouds inside on a rainy day.
you're a staircase in space
leading nowhere.

I'd rather be a stack of spoons than a pile of forks and knives.

I thought I was going to die last night.
I was slowly moving without realizing:
I've never had it, or I had it too long;
but the idea of tripping into existence
takes too much time to learn how to forget.

I didn't know what would happen last night,
even after I realized
there was noise coming from inside of me.

but we all know this **** is irrelevent.

Silence is not the enemy,
the lipstick on your wrist is
and it's a good thing you
know invisibility spells
because you look way too
good for dead eyes.

I'll let you be happy
with yourself,
but only sometimes,
because your mother's socks
are whiter than yours will ever be,
and you know why:
you lived it.

I'm feeling like I might kiss you
but I know you like to sleep
and it's hard to untie your hands
when the kid who did it knows how to double knot
and he likes to hide behind your back
or press his against yours.

We only talk to each other so that we're not alone,
and we only listen so that we wont be again.