Each beginning must meet an end
For another beginning to break
The dawn of a new day beckons flowers to bloom
As such petals may fall come noon
What joy once gave you fades in your wake
As the petals furl and uncurl
In the wind
I, too, take flight
My bones outstretched
Catching winds
The winds your sigh cast
The winds beneath those tattered feathers you once called home
The wings you once called joy
Joy in a moment too sudden to drift away
I see darkness in the sky
Clouds parting to grant me a glimpse at the moon
Clouds dissipating at my glance
At a chance
Taking chances as the clouds roll back in
Love lessons in these moments
Just as the flower blooms
Another love begins to fade
Your feathers gather in piles beneath the stars
As you make movement, taking flight
My eyes quiver at the thought of losing you
Moonlight hidden from me today
Never too far from home
Yet home beckons me
My jaw grinds
bone to bone
Your freedom is all I can offer
Dropping your feathers
Bleeding seeds
Flashing moonlight as you leave
From petals to feathers to bones to ashes
I miss you in the fire
of a new night to warm up in
I miss you in the crisp mornings
Planting seeds

It was within the darkness
In which I could finally catch my breath
The stillness comforted me
While I gained my strength
The patient silence in which I dwelled
Dispelled the misery as I dove greater depths
With each inhale absorbed new meaning
With each exhale new colors emerged
So engulfed with forward movement
I was unaware of what I left behind
In the quiet only night may layer
I found my pain returning home
As it became my own
My heart spoke of the wonders of what I may leave behind
if I were to speak my mind
The silence of my sacred space
As comforting as it had become
Began to split, distort in ways
Light rays easily penetrate
As my colors grow, they can't help but explode
A calling to my souls companions
A dance to my body's imagination
A secret unbroken as the light breaks the silence
As my words break the surface
my darkness finds it's place
And my colors take up space
I take up space
Breaking silence

Seething is soothing lately
To feel without words
To shake out the energy
That does me no good
Abundance where I am stood
Serving up a good mood
Less attitude exudes
As my ego subdues
I miss your presence
Long to bathe in your essence
Reminisce on the lessons
And forgive all transgressions
Pedal with me baby
Through the familiar
And the unknown
Tell me about your dreams, daily
Show me what you're made of shady
Midas
Leave me in the middle
Molten after brittle
Glowing more than just a little
Watch me sink within the middle
Watch me morph inside your riddles
Love me splendid as you slumber
Our dreams blended with each other
Mending heartache
This lasts forever
Never reaching for each other
Why bother?
Oh bother!
I wish this dreaming would last forever

a flame I dare not light
stares back at me
such as the moon above me
looking back at me
past me and through me
through with me
the one you used to know
but look back to see
that's no longer me
both all the things you loved
and hated when we dated

dreading taking me to public places
I can see why now
I've seen for a while now
how you want to just do it
not teach me how
furl your brow
curling me now
unfurling me
show me
that you want to get to know me
say something
say something
don't ghost me you heathen
fighting your demons
as you are cheap
rotten, cheating
stealing my innocence
my breathing
getting choppy
as you're getting messy
clumsy fingers to the strings
slapping away
slapping me away
didn't want me either way
not tomorrow
never today
left a letter
never sent
don't know where the **** it went
just felt bent and broke harder
burnt charocal burns hotter
as my skin melts on the grill tonight
you're really grilling me, alright?
did you think I forgot the fights?
late nights
arguing
until you kissed me goodnight

thanks for ******* me
just hard enough
for me to want you back
but to never take you back

I am soaking my scars in lavender tonight
up past midnight working
everyone is drinking still
a few hours to ****
but my drinks have all been spilled
insides poured out
right side out
somewhat proud
not to be a drunk any more

a few times lately
I want to wake up
but then there I find myself
smoking a cigarette
drinking a cup of coffee

I start thinking about my dreams
but get stuck turning them into daydreams
again feeling filthy as I take another drag
long for another one
wish I didn't after I did
and still go back for more
throat sore from the quiet screaming
it's honestly become demeaning

before I reach for a hit
memories that don't fit
get stuck inside me until it's lit
then I'm stuck as I sit
hit after hit after hit
in my new home
the one I worked for (this time)
the one that's mine (this time)
the one that can't be taken away
as it ticks away, steady beating
not so broken, this time...

this time has got me pressing
moving quick with no hopes of slowing down
I can't stop growing now
this lavender has got me flowing now
showing me how wounds need healing
even after the burn stops hurting,
begins bubbling and starts scaring and peeling
I wrap myself up
tighter and tighter
until the voice within me is screaming
begging me to breathe

I am begging myself to breathe
crying and I heave, heave **!
take me to the Sea
let me plunge
let's get deep
down to the wreckage
where your eyes pop
and your eyes buldge
as the gold litters the ocean floor
mesmirizing how it
glitters and glimmers
you shimmer as I shiver at the sight
of these forgotten treasures
glowing out into the endless darkness
the light of a lifetime illuminates all I thought I left behind
things are not so difficult to look at in this new light
so I remain grateful for what remains of my pain
as the pain is only a phantom of which once broke me down
no longer anchored down by the haunting
of not feeling as though my heart was my own
I see the beauty within what's left
and I won't let it go to waste

so give me time
(this time)

Still cooking for two
When I’m not with you
Not even hungry lately
Happily starving within the craving