I'M ALONE AGAIN
     TONIGHT
AND WHERE THE
        HELL
    ARE YOU!

You came into my life
When all was lost
There was no moon,
the stars had died
and all around was darkness.

I had lost my heart, my soul
and in the black, lost my way
I couldn't see the road before me
I couldn't go, I couldn't stay


Then out of nowhere right before me
stood an Angel all aglow
Lighting the scary darkened path
and showing me the way to go

The stars came back, Heaven was lit
Behind me the moon began to rise
The path grew brighter and I could see
The Angel had opened my closed eyes

I don't know when that Angel left me
for she left as quickly as she came
but she led me from that forsaken path
and I knew my life would never be the same!

If you need another Angel from my family....
                           Take ME!

Aw Hell!
       I Lost My Train Of Thought!
You intrude where I don't want you.
I don't want your name to be the first
one I think of,
Or the Last when I go to sleep alone!

Ha! Last word was mine, I Blocked Your *** *****!

You've been gone 43 years today
The little girl in me still cries
Just like it was yesterday it seems
They came to tell me you had died

I shut my memories down, closed tight
Built the walls to protect my heart
I remember nothing of childhood
Not one memory to impart,

The Child inside will cry for you
For Memories lost to this day
Years ago the Slate wiped clean
My Mind still greives, I say

But known, I was loved by you
So on this day, my heart replies
I miss you so **** much daddy
Your child sits here alone and cries!

You've taken every Dream i've had
Laid waste to every plan
cruely taken all i've Loved.
Left me in this Godforsaken land,

When I called out in the night
while in hot writhing agony
with a troubled heart unconsoled
Why did you not answerer me?

When I begged you take this pain
from my aching breast
I felt the arrow through my heart
Blood pouring from my chest,

I Prayed to you a thousand times
and pled a million more
Why leave these fiery beasts
Banging,busting down my door?

You left me in the dark
with Demons and no control
I couldn't help but think at last
this my death bell toll.

You left my life to Satan
when I did but beg release
and like a fool I still Prayed
for my Soul--Abiding Peace

You left my prayers unanswered
night after night- No Reply
What did I ever do to you
That even my death you would deny,

As silent tears run down my cheeks
I will Pray to you No More!
I realize you have Forsaken me
and left Demons at my door.

There
        Is
       No
   Dignity
        In
    Dying
        It
        Is
       An
   Illusion

I'm the only person I know
who can destroy everyone
I come into contact with

So don't love me!

With my best intentions
I manage to bring pain
to my friends and come
between them

Don't love me!

With tears of pain
and of sorrow I beg you

Don't love me!

I am unlovable

Don't love me!

FLY ME TO THE SKY SPARROW
WITH YOUR GOLDEN GILDED WINGS
LET'S WALTZ UPON THE CLOUDS
AS OUR HEAVENLY ANGEL SINGS
A SONG SO SWEET AND PURE
EVERY NOTE PLAYED A SYMPHONY
LET"S TWIRL AMONG THE STARS MY FRIEND
TO MUSIC JUST FOR YOU AND ME
LET"S TAKE A TURN AROUND HEAVENS' BALLROOM
FOR NOW, LEAVING SADNESS AND SORROWS BEHIND
JUST DANCING TO THE MUSIC
NOTHING BUT THE DANCE ON OUR MINDS
AND AS THE MUSIC STOPS
AND YOU GIVE YOUR COURTLY BOW
I CURTSY LOW TO YOU MY FRIEND
NOT KNOWING HOW TO THANK YOU NOW!
FLY ME TO THE SKY SPARROW
TO DANCE ONE WALTZ WITH YOU
WITH YOUR GOLDEN GILDED WINGS
YOU HAVE MADE A DREAM COME TRUE!

What did I just say.......

How did thou waste on one thy soul should scorn
One that hurt thee and mock'd the morn
Lay thy head against my breast,
There I'll lay thee down to rest
Rest from thy world- siren that lure thee to ill
Work with a strong heart and determined will
Bravely fling thy cold chain that hath bound thee
For some good, be it ever so slowly.

Be thou content, as I, to know not see
To feel thy spirit, I would take
Tunes aerial beauty for thy sake
Alas! float into thy soul, so I could see
How to become All melody to thee
Til musics' soul, walked by thy touch, to wing
and mingling with mine would soar and sing
How mine thoughts like singing birds flutter and fly
with a song for thine ear, and a gleam for thine eye.

Love compels me to thy heart against my will
To echo from thy voice, come to me still
Thou to sing loves lullaby to me
Warm heart in thy dwelling, beat kindly for me
So passionately wild this thirst in me
To be all beauty and all grace to thee
My faintest blush, at thoughts of thee a crime
I count in vain the slow dull steps of time,

Careful thee, Lest thy wound a soul so rare
My heart to thee, Please have a care
Smiles can surer wound or heal
than the stars, whose light they steal
In voiceless rapture on thy manly breast
Could thou be lull'd by sweet untroubled rest?
I only greive, because---because---I see
Thou find'st not All thy great demands of me.
Mine a heart that Love Too tenderly and truly
Will break at last, thou prized me unduly
Though missed the beauty, Rare and Dear
Alone thou are, Alone I am, but forever Near!!!

I sit here in this house of yours and the silence is like a roar
I sit at your table and across from me is your empty chair
Theres a ghost in this house of yours tonight
I keep turning around but your'e not anywhere

I walk down the hall and stand in your bedroom door
All I see is your empty bed sitting there
The window shade is pulled all the way down
I try to breathe but my god there's no air

I turn the television on just to make some noise
but of course there's a Reds game on the air
There's a ghost walking the house tonight
And I pray to God one last time that it's you walking there.

As to the moon

the ocean tide

Let my Love

Be your guide

Me your North Star

Glory Alone

Can write Loves Story

I opened my door to Grief this morning, he shoved me aside and walked to a chair sat down and said" Here Goes, this may take awhile"
"There are five Stages of Grief" he mumbled,
"Today you are in Stage 1, but tomorrow could be Stage 5 and a month from now, you may pass into Stage 2. Stages 3& 4 could happen together a year from now."
He looked up to me and said"Are you confused yet, that could be any Stage"
Through my tears, he calmly rose and went out my door, turned for one last look at me and said" I'm Stage 6 but I come 1st"
In Anger I slammed the door and wondered to myself,
is Anger Stage 4,2,5,3 or1.
I fell to the floor screaming" Why in Hell didn't anyone ever tell me about Stage 6"

MY HAPPINESS WENT ON VACATION,

TELL MY GUARDIAN ANGEL I SAID "HI"

Heavens not so far away

                               My Heart Hears Your Echo!

It's not the Lack of Love, that hurts right now,

It is your ANGER!

I SIT HERE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT
JUST LISTENING TO YOUR BREATHING
AND WHEN YOUR HEART PAUSES
MY HEART DIES A LITTLE WITH YOURS

WILL THIS BE YOUR LAST?

I FEEL LIKE I'M FREE FALLING
NO NET TO CATCH ME
AND WHEN YOU TAKE THAT NEXT BREATH,
I FEEL GUILTY FOR WANTING IT TO BE
OVER SO YOU WON'T SUFFER ANYMORE


WHAT A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER
        I HAVE BECOME!

      YOUR HEART PAUSES...
WILL THIS BE YOUR LAST?

How will I get to Heaven
            I'm afraid of heights!

I couldn't find you anywhere so I got out my Dictionary
and I looked under VICIOUS.CRUEL and INHUMANE
They sounded like you but your name wasn't there. So
I thought I'd look up THIEF, ABSCONDER and *******
They also sounded like you but again your name wasn't there,
So then I checked under PHYSCOPATH  AND MURDERER
these fit you better but I still couldn't find your name.

I panicked and got really worried then so I had a conversation
with GOD and I asked him please would he look in his book,
THE BOOK OF LIFE and see if he could find your name there

LO AND BEHOLD YOUR NAME ISN'T THERE
"MAY THERE BE NO MERCY ON YOUR SOUL!"

Just when I was putting my Dictionary away
GOD yelled out "FORGIVENESS"
So I look up forgiveness and GUESS WHAT!

"MY NAME IS NOT THERE!"

Maybe I should have looked up
THE DEFINITION OF DEFINITION

I knew a man with a heart of gold
and sunshine on his face
A loving husband and a father
that put others in first place,

I knew a man who was pure of heart
with faith that pulled him through
all the trials of his life
and he never asked his due,

I knew a man who found such joy
in just the little things
a man who saw with loving eyes
and loved church bell rings,

I knew a man with gentle ways
who was wise beyond his years
a man who raised his children well
and wiped away their tears,

I knew this man,I called him  Dad
He was kind in every way
He always stood tall and strong
and now he walks with God today.

I am done! Death can not come quick enough now!

When you wake
I hold your hand
tell you everythings okay

IT'S NOT I'M LYING!

You lokuo at me
with drug glazed eyes
and ask "what's wrong"
I say "nothing"

I'M LYING

You sit up for
just a moment
Tell me your'e
Writing a letter to GOD
I tell you the Angels comming!

YOU SAY NO YOUR'E LYING!

I ALMOST LOST YOU TODAY
ONE MOMENT YOU WERE HERE
WHERE I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU'D BE
THEN YOU STOPPED BREATHING.

MY WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
IN JUST A HEARTBEAT OF TIME
IN PANIC I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO
I JUST CAN'T TAKE YOUR LEAVING.

I THOUGHT I WAS RESIGNED
THAT MY HEART COULD LET GO
BUT NO I'M NOT READY YET
YOU'RE PART OF MY SOUL.

First thing this morning
I broke my pen,
Spilled my ink all over my pretty white paper,
left with nothing but inkblots,
maybe the Mental Health people can use them?

You tiptoe through my Heart
                 Your Soul leaving footprints behind!!!

I thought if I drove hundreds of miles
that I could escape you
but when I stopped driving and got out
of my car;
I realized I was still under the starlit sky
that we made wishes on
The same blue moon we used to slow
dance under
and next to me was the  same kind of
tree, the weeping willow that we made
Love under.

I got so disgusted I drove home all the while
Realizing your'e like a stalker
Invading my personal space
******* my every move
Preying on my already fractured mind
and that's when I knew that no matter
what I did
You had captured my heart and soul
and no matter how many miles I drove

You were the Jailer of my memories
and you would never set me free!

An old friend stopped by today

Your'e face lit up, you were shining

He joked with you, you called him "*******"

you wouldn't know you were dying.


First time in weeks Iv'e seen your smile

Amazing what old friends can do

For just a few moments

Out came the old you.