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Apr 5 · 59
Flotsom
Paul James Apr 5
In her sea of unrequited love I am flotsam—
not even wreckage with a story,
just something left behind,
adrift.

She is the water that carries me,
cool and untouchable,
vast and shining,
indifferent to the fragments she holds.

I do not sink—
that would be release.
I float,
caught in eddies of hope,
drawn near by a glance,
pushed away by silence.

There is no harbour,
no shore with arms outstretched.
Only the endless drift
beneath skies that never speak,
toward nothing,
from everything I once believed.

I am the forgotten,
the unchosen,
the still-loyal shard of something
she never meant to keep—
But can’t quite let go
Paul James Feb 23
The sky is the colour of well-worn bedsheets,
greyed and softened by countless washes,
a damp washing line kind of grey,
the kind that clings to the air
before a drizzle starts,
or after it ends,
and the world is still dripping.

Not the bright, hopeful white
of freshly laundered linen,
snapping in a summer breeze.
No, this is the grey of a Monday morning,
of a forgotten promise,
of a lukewarm cup of tea.
It's the grey that seeps into your bones,

It settles in your shoulders.
makes you want to pull the covers
back over your head
and pretend the day
hasn't quite begun.
But even this grey,
this damp, heavy grey,
has its own kind of beauty.

A quiet strength.
a muted dignity.
It's the colour of waiting,
of slow, steady growth,
of the earth breathing
beneath a blanket of clouds.
I’m tired & frustrated by daily grey skies & I long for them the break & Brother Sun to reappear.
Jan 27 · 60
Suspended Animation
Paul James Jan 27
My heart floats in the hollow between beats,
a weightless thing, neither here nor gone,
left in the purgatory of almosts and maybes.

Time drips slow, like sap from a wounded tree,
every second stretched thin,
every breath a whisper of what could be.

Hope dangles, fragile and frayed,
a spider’s thread trembling in the wind,
unsure if it will hold or snap
under the weight of a longing unspoken.

I do not bleed, I do not weep—
I simply linger,
caught in this timeless pause,
my heart in suspended animation,
waiting for the whisper of her touch,
the warmth of her voice,
to pull me back to life.
Dec 2024 · 72
Razors
Paul James Dec 2024
Her sneers cut like invisible razors,
slivers of disdain slicing through the air,
the silence swelling with unspoken judgments.

Each twist of her lip is a verdict,
a dismissal of the things I am,
a shadow cast over the fragile corners
where I hold my own worth.

Her eyes, sharp as broken glass,
reflect nothing of me,
only the cold echo of her discontent,
a tide that pulls my spirit under.

I feel it in my chest—
a tightness,
as though the air around me
is hers to withhold,
and I am left gasping
in the storm of her unkindness.

Yet still, I stand,
weakened but unbowed,
seeking in the ruins of her scorn
some thread of strength
that does not rely on her mercy.
Sep 2024 · 89
Aged 72 on Thursday
Paul James Sep 2024
My days of laughter have slipped away, like sunlight caught in a wave, bright for a moment then lost to the deep.

Once, joy was found  in every corner—a child’s secret smile, the pulse of music in crowded rooms, the thrill of chasing a breeze through open windows.
Holidays,trips to the seaside long since past.

Now, the echoes are faint, hollow notes where melodies once sang. I walk through the same streets, the same rooms, but the colours have dimmed, the voices have softened.

The fun, the careless abandon, the rush of forgetting the weight of the world—they have packed up quietly, leaving only the stillness, the memories, and longing.

Now I wait in this quiet longing,wondering if the light might return, or if I must learn to dance with the shadows of memory instead.
A sad, monotonous life.
Aug 2024 · 74
Wind,be my messenger…
Paul James Aug 2024
Wind, you who dance through the world with no barriers, who knows the secrets of every leaf and every whispered breath—hear me now.

As you brush against my skin, gentle and unseen, I ask you to carry my love, delicate as a feather, to the one who holds my heart in secret.

Let my kisses be your passengers, riding on your back like tiny whispers of the soul, traveling through the unseen paths between us.

Move with the grace of a lover’s touch, through fields of wildflowers and over rivers that shimmer like dreams. Slip through the night’s velvet cloak, and find the one who is mine in thought but far in presence

Surround her with the warmth of my longing, the softness of my affection, until they feel the invisible embrace of my heart.

Tell her nothing, wind, for this love is ours to hold close and quiet. Simply let my kisses fall like petals at her feet, like stars at her window, until she is surrounded by all that I am and all that I give.
May 2024 · 92
Untitled
Feb 2024 · 184
Untitled
Paul James Feb 2024
The priest will never marry us
and my mom will never know you
but I can kiss you over a mug of  tea and dance with you under the stars and if that isn't marriage I'm not sure what God is looking for...
I found this poem, I didn’t write it but it moved me & I’d like to share it. Moreover I’d dearly love to share it with my secret love.
Dec 2023 · 367
Our emotional affair.
Paul James Dec 2023
In the quiet shadows of shared glances and unspoken words, our emotional affair unfolds like verses woven into the fabric of clandestine emotions.

A dance of feelings painted in hues of secrecy, where the lines blurred between what was said and what lingered in the unsaid.

Each stolen moment a stanza etched in the margins of our lives, a prose poem of longing and connection, composed in the delicate syntax of stolen time.
Our affair tears me apart. So very near yet so far from hearts full connection. Not knowing for certain how she feels. 😢
Dec 2023 · 160
Heart of fire
Paul James Dec 2023
In the quiet chambers of my soul, a fervent flame dances, fueled by the whispered winds of her name.

Each heartbeat echoes the symphony of my longing, an inferno ignited by the tender spark of her presence.

Embers of passion glow in the verses of my soul's prose,
a timeless poem etched in the language of devotion,
burning brightly with the intensity of a thousand suns.
Dec 2023 · 267
? Shared Love
Paul James Dec 2023
In the quiet realm where whispers linger, let your heart unfurl its clandestine verses.

Beneath the clandestine moon, reveal the ink of your emotions, tracing the contours of a love that thrives in shadows.

Allow the clandestine dance of words be our shared secret, penned in the sacred language of the heart.
Dec 2023 · 353
Cowardly?
Paul James Dec 2023
Beneath the new moon's gentle gaze,
I wander through the labyrinth of uncertainty,
tracing the delicate contours of our interactions.
In the tapestry of moments, I seek whispers of her sentiments,
wondering if the stars in her eyes mirror the constellations of my own yearning.
Leaving me questioning
“Does she hear my heart….?
Dec 2023 · 134
Untitled
Paul James Dec 2023
The imposter

God please,
Let my subterfuge
Hold out
Just a little bit further.

Let my mask
Stay on
Just a little bit longer.

Let me walk
With some Pride
Still dangling
From my chest-

Lord grant my heart no rest.
Dec 2023 · 376
Secret & silent love
Paul James Dec 2023
In shadows cast by moonlit dreams, my heart inscribes tales of adoration for the enchanting woman who graces my  world.

A clandestine dance of emotions, where unspoken verses paint portraits of admiration & love, where every stolen glance is a silent sonnet penned in the secrecy of my desire .
Nov 2023 · 122
Whispered Love
Paul James Nov 2023
In the language of the heart, my love for her weaves a tapestry beyond words.

It's an unspoken symphony that echoes in the quiet moments, a silent promise written in the stars.

If its depth could be measured it would be an ocean without shores,

boundless and eternal, where every wave carries whispers of affection.
Nov 2023 · 112
Longing for her…..
Paul James Nov 2023
In the quiet echoes of my heart, her name resonates like a delicate sonnet unheard. Unrequited, yet I find solace in the poetry  of my longing,
tracing the silhouette of her absence in the verses of my soul.
Aug 2023 · 153
Palpitations
Paul James Aug 2023
She holds my heart securely within her grasp
Thus far she has no knowledge of her potency.
For her to have awareness of her cradling
My ardour, my affections,
May risk an arrest of  my hearts loving palpitations
For she may leave,
And then my hearts light would be extinguished.
Jul 2023 · 176
Untitled
Paul James Jul 2023
In the gentle embrace of a sun-kissed evening, Her presence becomes the very essence of enchantment. Her laughter, like a melody in the wind, dances with the graceful cadence of a thousand twinkling stars. Her eyes, two deep pools of blue, hold secrets only whispered to the moon, leave me lost in their captivating allure.

Every step she takes leaves an imprint on my heart, a path of warmth and tenderness. In her touch, I find solace, a connection that transcended the realms of ordinary existence. Time seems to slow in her company, as if the universe conspires to savor every stolen moment.

Her spirit, a delicate blend of strength and vulnerability, radiates a magnetic charm that draws me closer, like a moth to the flickering flame. The way she cares for others, with genuine kindness and empathy, paints her as an angel among mortals, a beacon of compassion.

Each gesture, each word she speaks, paints vivid portraits of affection on the canvas of my soul. And in the quiet corners of my mind, I dream of moments yet to come, where love would bloom like a garden of roses, and our hearts would entwine like vines in an eternal embrace.
I speak ofAnn, a name whispered in the silence of my thoughts, it carries the promise of a love story destined to be etched in the stars, forever bound in the timeless tale of two souls entwined in love's sweet embrace.
Jul 2023 · 260
My unrequited love
Paul James Jul 2023
Amidst the ache of unrequited love, my heart still finds solace in the beauty of our connection, even if it remains one-sided. I'll cherish the moments we shared, even if they were fleeting, for they brought warmth to my soul and left an indelible mark on my heart.
Dec 2020 · 223
Christmas gift...
Paul James Dec 2020
Its the way she looks into my eyes....
Standing there she talks to the three of us staring into my eyes...
Through me, into my soul,
Radiation, that burns the chambers of my aching heart...
Burning away any doubts I had of her feelings & sending me once again tumbling into an oblivion of passion.
And then she’s gone!
Her trap has sprung!
Once more she has me trapped in her web of longing...
Woven and
Hooked on loves longing.
Oct 2020 · 214
False perceptions??
Paul James Oct 2020
False perceptions??

Olfactory:  Your scent on my pillow
Auditory : Your whispers gentle in my ear
Tactile: Your lips so soft against mine
Visual: Your reflection next to mine
In my hallucinations, you are mine
I daydream of wooing her, hearing her say that she loves me, holding her, our fingers intertwined, shared passion.
Oct 2020 · 192
One kiss....
Paul James Oct 2020
One kiss....

Love is just a kiss away dearest....
Just the gentlest of touches between thine lips and mine....
One scintilla is all it would take for us to fall tumbling impetuously in love.

The cosmos has conspired for our love to be manifest
From Genesis our love was destined to ignite,
One kiss would kindle an already unspoken passion into a roaring inferno of love
A conflagration of devotion,
romance and daily yearning would be ours....
She is my vision of loveliness. Yet the emblem of unrequited love
Oct 2020 · 180
Silent Magic
Paul James Oct 2020
What is this sorcery that this woman has meted out to me?
Hypnotised, weakened, I somehow stumble through my day.
Shadows of people, echos of conversations pass through me and all I feel, and reflect upon is her.

I assail her with a thousand repentances “release me from the ******* of simply loving you”
But no, mutely, she pierces my heart with her maleficium, enslaving me in rapturous yet desolate unrequited love for her.
Ann’s enchantment weaved it’s spell upon me this evening when she visited & chatted to me.
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