Can one have the power?
To stop this hated hidden pain?

A glass breaking razorblade scream
Pressure point sharp and ice cold
Ripping through a soft spongy ear drum
Able to play no more sweet crystallized harmony

A faint cry of cotton silk
But an intense high pitch earthquake
One can hardly hear it
Yet feel it
Rumbling the inner molten core
Traveling the internal body network

The mouth opens like a greeted door
Oil black painful spiders emerge
Each a stabbed word of hurt
A charged literature army of evil

Close the shutters
Open meditation

Glowing white flutters appear
Mixed with the thick rugged dark
Gray
A still gray
Hated pain still hidden
Depression has risen

How could you do this?
Why did you do this?
You just went off
Full of anger
Spitting out one word
That took his life
You have such a short fuse
One touch and you blow up
He did nothing to you
Yet you killed him
Well a metal stare
Through your one eye
That is all it took
Why?
Oh why?
Why did you make me pull the trigger?

Pain in my head
A bit mislead
My insides dead
My life I dread
Body unfed
My arms like lead
I should switch to another thread

Too much to think
Mind out of sync
My throat to sink
Missing a link
Afraid to blink
Just want to drink
I think it’s time to change the ink

My mind it turns
My chest it burns
Bad luck returns
Stomach it churns
My heart it earns
Bad thoughts of spurns
Yes, I do have some more concerns

Don’t feel to fit
Feel not legit
I want to quit
My brain has split
Cannot commit
I lost my whit
There is more I need to submit

Feel out of time
My spit like slime
Stopped on a dime
Mute like a mime
Covered in grime
Feel past my prime
Ok lets go for one more rhyme

I cannot fight
My back is tight
I lost my sight
I’m full of fright
No more excite
Don’t feel polite
I cannot talk, just choose to write

My mind goes through a lot
Two many unhinged objects
Shoved into a pocket-sized area
A curled web of thoughts
Tied around my already infirm brain

It seems the only way to turn it off
Is to close the broad shutters
The vision that shows reality
The two windows that hold the truth
Holding the pupils of perception

My ever so jaded shoulder
A stiff frigid table
Becomes a deep resting place
For the intense memories
Created in my fragile head

I then enter my own place
My candy coated world
One that causes my mouth to feel
To raise my lips just enough
To see a merry grin

One that causes my eyes to tear
Pools of crystal glee
A fountain of youth
Filling up the steel ducts
Of my giggling inner child

I have my dream
That seems so abundant and real
I spread my wings that tingle
Each made from every sparkling piece
Left in my delicate body

Then I fly so far and high
Away from my big bully called trouble
All I can do is wave a tiny good-bye
As the icy wind crystallizes through my hair
Chilling my skin just enough to feel a tickle

Until I wake up
To see reality’s evil eyes glaring at me
Trying to sink into my soul
Scorching through my beating heart
Then take my smiles away

But I realize it isn’t all that bad
For I still have love
And one powerful heart
Turning my will to unyielding stone
Making me invincible

I know who I am
I know what I want
I know I am strong
And I know I have enough direction
To be and do what I want

Do you truly think a blade can stop your tears?
As it presses itself deep within your warm flesh
Moving ever so smooth like your arm was butter
Causing shots of pain to crawl along your body
Having healthy crimson life leak from the wound

Do you truly think a pill will take it all away?
One tablet that slides down your throat
So simple in three steps to relief
As your body tightens and makes a waterfall
Having your insides become outsides that burn

Is the pain worth it?
Is suicide the key?

Having a lake of tears from friends and family
The world to you is all hate and pain
But that isn’t even half of the circle

Happiness is out there
You need to search for it
For if you give up
You are giving up on yourself

The life you could have had
Happiness you can embody
It does all exist in this crazy world

How do I know?
I lived that life
And I changed

A colorful oil painting
A moist cake with frosting
Glaciers in a frozen sea
This is the image of the sky

Bubbles on warm bath water
Froth on steamed milk
A heaven of white sheets
This is the image of the sky

A for that embodies us all
So big up close
Yet so small from a far
For the image of the sky
Can be but a dream
That becomes a reality

I lay at night
Feeling alone
Aching body
With cold stiff bones
The pain in my heart
Make me moan

I miss you my love

I lay there still
Thinking in fear
Of not seeing you again
And holding you near
From my eye
Falls a salty tear

I miss you my love

So I stare out
At the endless night
Wishing you were here
To hold me tight
We are so far apart
That just isn’t right

I miss you my love

But I’ll bee strong
And stop the cry
I will be yours again
When you stop by
Then stay with you
Till the day I die

I miss you my love

I want you my love
I need you my love
I love you my love
I won’t leave you my love
I give you my love
I must feel you my love

I must be with you and really miss you my love

A simple rock is not so simple
For like they say
It’s the inside that counts
Once the outer shell is broken
A whole new world lies inside
A world of life
Full of many sparkles
Like in a person’s eyes
Full of energy

How could something small
Hold so much meaning
One word
Life

I remember when my head was an empty box
Light as a feather, useless
Now it is a book
Full of memories, full of knowledge

I remember when my mouth was a constant frown
Not even strings could hold it up
Now it is a smile of sunshine
Spreading happiness to others

I remember when my body felt lifeless
Melted and would slouch
Now it is strong
Upright and healthy

My past was broken
I wasn’t even there
Now I am back
One with the world

I remember

I ask you
What is peace?

Peace is someone finding they have cancer
Peace is a homeless person on the street
Peace is a teenager killed by a drunk driver

I ask you
What is peace?

Peace is a child killed by a gun
Peace is a woman beaten by her so called love
Peace is a cope beating down an innocent man

I ask you
What is peace?

Peace is people at war with people
Peace is an animal shot down for fun
Peace is airplanes flying into buildings

I ask you
What is peace?

Peace is dying of AIDS
Peace is racism
Peace is a mother pulling the plug on her child

I ask you
What is peace?

Peace is destroying peoples land
Peace is loosing your ability to move
Peace is taking your own life

I ask you
Is there peace?

Looking down at empty pale feet
Pure crystal water
Kissing the gaunt quivering toes
Like tiny nipping lips

An intoxicating dewy tickle
Replenishes the ulcerated legs

Thin iced glass brushes the face
Coating it in a soft chilled frost

Salty needles pinch the eyes
Making vision blurry yet refreshed

To blink would be a miss
A loss of excessive sight
An immense beauty gone

A crawling land of beryl
A saturated endless terrene
An ocean

When I sleep at night

I am in my own world
I am the God
I am the creator
I am the ruler
I am the king

Don’t wake me up
Cause my world to collapse

Just let me sleep
Just let me relax

Starless black night
Hidden ices
Cold winds knocking at the window
Each white angle hair
Dropping from the sky
Covering the Earth
Frightening the green
Turning it a pale white
Standing, starting at the sky
Lit by on bulb
A God in the sky
A startling sound in the distance
Like bones breaking
Body Freezes
From fright or cold?
The night is alive

You hear the sound of a drill
As it pieces through your soft skull
Grinding like your teeth
As you feel the pain

Metal lightning being beaten
In your head with Thor’s hammer
Bringing a waterfall of tears
Rivers down your face

A boulder crushing your neck
Don’t move, it could fall
Shattering like a gunshot
Through a window

The temperature rises
An inferno in your mind
Melting your brain
Frying the flesh of memories

A head of mush
A blurry world in your mind
One more steal tear
You blacken out

Sweet rain fills my senses
As I stand in a puddle of my emotion
A liquid barrier holds me inside
To stare down deep into my own mind
Only to think and have no commotion

Feet together like a glue
Each arm out to point at the world
To which direction I want to run
When my mind lets me wander
Then my body gets whirled

Why sit in the wetness of your thoughts
The blank stare you create in your head
It is time to spread your visions
Turn your puddle to an ocean
Let your source breath life and not be dead

Baby steps on your plain
Create a world with each soft step
Spread your illusion and your power
Raise your arms to the above
Create yourself filled with pep

You are only yourself
Something that no one can destroy
There is only a single you
And as yourself you bear a special gift
A complex brain you can deploy

I cannot sleep at night
I roll in my loneliness
I need comfort
I need warmth
I need my love

The wool blanket that secures me
With it I relax
My own world
My peace

Without the blanker I freeze
My heart freezes
Cracks
Shatters

I lie starring into nothingness
I miss my love
I miss my blanket

I stare deep into the sky
My eyes above face
Wondering how big it is
And how it heats the place

All these cluttered thoughts
Run scattered through my head
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

The peace that my inside feels
From my head straight to my feet
For it covers me completely
Like a blanket full of heat

How good my body feels
My pleasure has been fed
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

A pale look has faded
Now a golden brown
My body fed of nutrients
That seep into the ground

It is hard to move myself
My body heavy lead
For the sun is the oven
My body is the bread

The ball of fire starts to set
The day closes to night
The heat then begins to chill
My body frozen fright

But tomorrow will bring a new
As it rises from the dead
For again the sun’s oven
Will bake my body’s bread

There is a book inside of me
A book of white
It is not square, but a circle
Some pages are written
Some are still blank
Some pages torn from pain
Some pages strong with joy
Everyday another page written
Until the day I pass on
Then my book is complete
My journey will be over
My story will then be read to be told
But now the book has many blank pages
I have plenty of time to fill them
With my life, my words
My circle of life
In a single book

I stand at the crossroads
Four ways to a vision
A car in the distance
Should I let it take me down?
Stop my life in a flash
Lay there undecided
Or should I pick a way
A path to a different road
Each to a different me
If I pick, I could be wrong
Four choices, one mind
If I don’t pick, I will never know
Who I am
So who am I?
North, East, South, West
The path must be chosen
My choice

I come at the crossroads
Five areas in one spot
Standing still in the present
But must pick a direction
For an answer

I have been told to choose left or right
Both ways that will change me
And the people around me

To head back, is the past
But to in the past
Leads no room to move forward
Straight to the future

Sure I can take left or right
That lead to alternate crossroads
Or take the straight path forward
To a future I create

My choice is made

Time has ended so I lay
The end to a very painful day
I lay silent with nothing to say
Here in my dark room

With eyes open I can hardly see
Staring at the ceiling thinking of me
Wondering in the future what I will be
Here in my dark room

Will I still have my dark room
The place where there is peace
Or will I feel deceased
In a new dark room

But maybe when the night turns to shine
I won’t feel so but feel fine
Until night when I come back and whine
Here is my dark room

Now it is late I can’t see no more
My arm falls and drops to the floor
The liquid dreams in my head start to pour
Here is my dark room

To close my eyes
IS to be free
To create a whole world
Beyond my shutters

A world where I can be me
A world where I can live
A world where I can be happy
A world where I am God

My dream

The little piece I have
While I am at slumber
Under light touches my lids
To open them to a word
One that hurts my eyes

Reality

Rock

The weight I carry on my back
The chilly hardness around my neck
The cement stones in-between my toes
The mass that crushed my heart

Paper

To cut through my skin
White sheet that makes me blind
Folding in my head for confusion
Covering my body so it may be breathe

Scissors

Cutting my energy to make me fall
Slicing my brain to **** my thoughts
Piercing my tongue not able to talk
Stabbing my chest to take the pain away

My life
Is a game of rock, paper, scissors

My book is open
A book of blank pages
Empty thoughts
No feeling, just dead

My pen is set
A syringe of life
That flows out
With a flip of the wrist

A chill from my mind sets
A large dark dome
Painful thin walls
Dedicated to thinking

Traveling down my arm
The information highway
Reaching the end
From being the beginning

Then my hand is alive
Rose from the grave
Filled with warmth
Alert and ready

I create page after page of life
Filling the soft white
With deep black
I make a story

This is my style
This is my writing style

It all started one night
To wait for a moment
And have it feel like a life time
Surrounded by many people
But to feel like the only one
Waiting…
Wondering…
What will I see?

Life travels suddenly in slow motion
Then around the corner of my eye
Walks a vision
One that you swear will make your heart stop
And mine did
It stopped just long enough to make me realize
I remembered how to smile

You never really think true love exists
Until you find it for yourself
How do you know you found it?
That question I cannot answer
For there is no true way to describe it

So how do I explain my feelings for her?
Like this…
Close your eyes
Think of happiness only
Now picture something more
Something bigger then your whole happiness
Hard isn’t it?
To difficult for words
That is true love in my eyes
I cannot explain it
Because no words can match the feeling I get
When I see that beautiful face smile

I spent part of my life thinking there was no happy
There was no smile
There was no feeling
Until she proved me wrong
And I am glad she did

To feel again was the greatest gift
To embrace my heart was amazing
Thanks to this special girl
To miss her every second
To love her every second
To want to kiss her every second
Just to want to hold her every second
Coincidences in mind?
No…
This is a sign of my true love

Promises are hard to come by
But I made a promise I know I can keep
As long as I love her I will not leave her
Because to leave when still in love
It would be like not breathing to me
I wouldn’t be able to live
Not when I love this girl so much
My one true love

I drive down a road
There lies a dead dog
But I don’t see a dead dog

I see a speeding car
I see a person not caring
I see a happy dog
I see a curious dog
I see a father making a sign
I see a sign for “Lost Dog”
I see a mother calling out
I see s mother holding a child
I see a tear
I see a boy crying

I don’t see a dead dog
I see a waste of a good life
From a person who still has one

Houses made of tight colorless flesh
Roads of cold steal ice
A sea of thick liquid oil
A sky of sharp dark dust
Holding a hated blood red sun

I walk around sluggish
Palms planted in my jeans
Scratching against the rough blue material
I hear the screams of children
Sounds of pain and anger
Shooting me in the head
Piercing pain rattles my skull

I look p and clear my injured mind
Then close the shades to darkness
A vision appears of a slide show

Houses made of vibrant sweet candy
Roads of bright golden riches
A sea of crisp soft liquid
A sky of fresh smelling roses
Holding a giving warm sun

My palms relax
A grin of happiness hits my face

Then the blood curdling screams return
The haunting sound kills my vision
I open my eyes of tears
I see the cruel world I live in

But this is not my world
This is not my vision
This is reality

I drop to my knees with images
A scrape to each round bone
But a larger one to my mind

Is it possible to bring an ocean to your eyes
But not feel the wetness?

To have an under water forest of thoughts
But not be able to view your own mind?

To find out that imagery
May not be your reality?

The mind has caused an earthquake
With a crack that leaks the crimson lava
Burning my poor smile
Melting it to a frown

What has happened to the once crystal ocean?
Why has it turned an endless brown of cooled lava?

From pollution
For I have polluted it with my eyes, my words, my ears.

So as I fall from my knees
Into a remembered position at birth
One word clears from my thoughts

Why?

How can one flake of snow be so depressing?
Is it because it is a start of a gloomy day
Or because the human mind makes you think so
All it means is that more snow is coming
But the brain thinks snow means sadness
How does one feel by the end of the day?
When the snow has stopped
You see white everywhere but no harm
The first snowflake ruined your day
Why does one think like this?
Letting one snowflake ruin the day
Or should I say one thought?

I like to cry and throw a fit
Even the dark day I was born
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

I did not like people around
I would sit, curse at them and scorn
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

My heart could never feel the love
Deep inside I felt sad and torn
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

People still tried to get close to me
I would open my mouth and warn
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

I will never show a smile
This is an oath that I have sworn
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

But the day will come, I will die
Then haunt people after they mourn
I am a sad and drooping rose
With only one horrible thorn

Life is a painting
Not just a speck of paint

To be born
Is to start with a brush and paper

To grow
Is to move the brush

The older one gets
The more the colors awaken

If a speck of paint is not right
Paint over it and create anew

For if you focus on the one point
You may not get a pretty picture

My paper of dots
Pen marks
Each mark a thought wasted away
No words
Just dots

Connect the dots
You get a story

Erase the dots
You lose an idea

Draw a circle
A circle of dots
A life of thoughts
My life

Connect the dots in my life
Listen to my story

A stone slab she sits
A drop of her mind hits the ground
She stares down
Afraid to look up and face the pain
A hand twitches
The only part still showing life
Pain has attacked her inside
The poison war in her body
She holds an envelope
Soaked from her sadness
It doesn't wash away
It is branded in the back of her mind
Only curiosity wonders
What is inside the envelope?
But let her be
She has to fight her own war

Imagine a worn glossy white couch
Take a seat
Relax
Breathe

The cruel world around you is your theater
Immense huge wall to wall screens
Making you feel so tiny
Super crisp high definition life picture
Able to shock your eyes and freeze your mind
Intense crystal clear vibrant sound
Making your ears pin tickle and teeth happy chatter

Observe and absorb this movie
The movie of one’s life
A crazy never ending story

What is the price to see this film?
Free
Just like life should be

Make sure you can take it all in
For this film is rated R
R for reality

Crimson leaks from my mouth
For I have been wounded

If my mouth didn't open
And the razor sharp words came out
I would not feel the pain
The leaks from my cuts

It is true that words can hurt

Not just others
But yourself

But who hurts worse?

The one with blood life pouring from words
Or the one smiling...

My mind is stuck in one place
A place where I think
…and think
…and think
…and think
I am a robot
Controlled by my own brain
Could I be creating my own world?
In my mind?
All I do is think
…and think
…and think
…and think
I am starting to see my world
I will call it…
Reality

The eyes glaze over
From the icy chill that stings
Pale sand paper lips
Grinding the smooth skin
Frozen hands squeeze together
Creating warm inner pockets
Bones become heavier
Like inner stone in the body
Air of deep blue swords
Travel up the fragile nose
The throat with an inferno
From patches of shivering flames

Winter is here again
With her mighty power
The power to create beauty
And destroy it all at once

A body still from excitement
Head to the sky, waiting
A whole frosted dance is about to appear

Earth’s colossal yet gentle hands grab the sun
And turn off the gleaming lights

Darkness
Restful darkness

The ample wind covers the area
Like an invisible curtain of chilled silk

Then a moment of calm
Everything is still
As if a single picture was taken

Vibrant silver angels in their white cotton
Fall from endless stage in the sky
Embodying the frozen air
Thrusting their ****** dance
As they float towards the ground

These suggestive pale dancers
Land on your still excited body
Using it as their new birthed platform

They use their sensual ballet
To send ice cold stings through your bones
To bring a ****** tingle to your mind
Until your heart ******* to a perky smile.

This is called the seductive winter dance
Able to make your mouth gleam
And your soul tickle

Embrace the frigid sensation
As you give birth to your inner thrill

The golden sun smiling at me
Sending his rays of pleasure
I sit and smile back
The crisp wind sings her faithful song
As she runs her silky hands through my hair

I sit on a small wooden bench
This is my territory
My happy spot
My eyes are closed
I create a slide show in my mind

A world with no fear
A world with  peace
A world without war

I open my eyes and feel my heart
It tries to jump out of my chest
But I hold it in

up
A better chance to go

Then to go
                down**

For the farther you climb down
The longer it takes to go back up

But while climbing up
You may fall down
Only to climb up once again

So always head higher
For a smile faces up
And a frown faces down.

Laying motionless in the soft grass
My mind shuts off
My heart turns on
I stare endlessly into deep black
Into the soul of the night
I hear sweet calming music
A deep feeling of a beat
From the small band in my heart
My eyes start to dance
From one star to another
My tongue slips in
Swaying from side to side
The whole sky was my ballroom
The dark had never been more beautiful
More full of color
Then that one night

The sounds of a thousand horses
Spirits riding the gusting wind
Dressing in armor of the night
Their weapons flashing through the land
Muffled sounds of the army
Are heard in the distance
Battle cries with horses screams
They start to rise
The force becomes louder and stronger
Then stops
Dead silence

Then the weapons flash again
The army attacks
Slicing through Mother Nature
Arrows of fire fall piercing the ground
The screams rumble the earth’s heart

Finally the battle has ended
The earth is wet with nature’s blood
Traces of the furious fight
Into piles that were left behind
Now only time can heal
Until the army of the storm returns

The beauty

Something one tries not to see in them self

You have it all, and I know
For I cannot tell a lie
But I have no physical proof
Just the words in my mind

Beautiful is not a word for you
You should be your own word
A new form to explain things
That is too amazing to call


To have tingles jump around my body
Every time you smile at me
To look into your eyes and evaporate
All that is bad in my head

I have to keep staring
Almost like it would be a crime
To look away from such a sight
And miss a second I could of seen your face

To look at something so great
And be forced to smile
You just know that what you are seeing
Is more then beauty itself

You are yourself
You look like yourself
That is what makes you
More than beautiful

So listen to my words
For that is the only way I can prove
That you
Are the most amazing thing I have ever seen.

There is one time when the body pauses
The dazzling placid late night

Inside a concealed crisp castle
There is a slacked thrown of pose
One trivial light flickers softly
Beside a firm restful coffin

Now I lay me down to sleep
A phrase heard through life
Happens in the reality of this moment

Stripping cloth from the frosted vision
Once again becoming true natural
The chilled air surrounds the body
Seeping in the lowered soul
Laying ever so still on a lush plank
A quicksand of memories as the body sinks

The light now slender
Nothing but the somber knights
They cover a chattered body
Leaving a sense of protection and warmth

Are the eyes open or closed?
A thought lucidly pounding in the brain

The sense of smell is the true friend
At this sudden listless time
Only supple crystals shift the nose
Tingling the starved fragile hairs

Face cannot be wiped
The body is made of oppressed stone
The arms weighted to a pull
Tied down by tickled silk shackles
The legs a block of endless heavy
The body is no more a vital vessel
But an anchored hard shell

Although the fleshy mind stays alert
Thoughts, dreams, emotions
Marinating in a skulled ***
Fusing together to make a dream
An intense deep sleep
In the world of non reality

The butterfly soars again
Born from magic dust
Its massive wings
Torn no more

Rainbows of immense colors
Strength of crisp bones
To hold the strong smile
To the face of a tiny God

Flight courses through the body
Streams of candy to the eye
A flash to the pupil
A lustrous gloss of sugar

Body and soul back to one
The butterfly lifts to the sky
To experience such a vision
To endure a piece of heaven

A window cracks
A chill of air seeps through
I lie still in my bed
In my dream world

It hits my lips
Turning them to vast cold deserts

My eyes open awake

My tongue moistens my lips

I sit up frightened
The scope of my eye catches the window
The entrance
The exit

I walk over and touch the air
I star into endless darkness
Wondering
Thinking
Was he trying to get me again?

The world is good
When holding you near
To close my eyes
To erase all fear
Time to let out
Just one happy tear

The feeling that is more than love

To run my hand
Through your dark soft hair
To show a smile
To prove that I care
To stay with you
By my heart I swear

The feeling that is more than love

Your eyes they look
Deep into my soul
We melt as one
And my heart you stole
For you have filled
That deep painful hole

The feeling that is more than love

A gentle kiss
Put upon your lips
Sends a tingle
To my finger tips
To lay as one
Attached by the hips

The feeling that is more than love

I really want
My girl that is you
Cause to feel
Is all I can do
So I prove that
I care for you too

The feeling that is more than love

Here is my thing
That I say with pride
A perfect rule
I know I can’t hide
Is to love you
And be by your side

The feeling that is more than love.

Have you ever just stood
Not doing anything, just stood

Head above, eyes to the sky
Your mind with the switch off
A blank stare into an ocean in the air
Fishing for thoughts
Using your eyes for bait

Trying to catch the fish of time
With fins of happy memories

But you find it hard to hook this fish
For your state of depression
Breaks the line
Setting the memory free
To never be seen again

To catch the fish
You need the bait of happiness
And the cheerful strength to set the hook

For when you reel it in
A smile will rise
Leaving depression drowning in the water

I sit in thought
My hand to head

My heart it wants to cry

My face turns sides
My smile sheds

The girl with magic eyes

The piece of mind
My eyes they tear

My brain it starts to fry

Vanished in air
I cannot hear

The girl with magic eyes

To see her face
Deep in my mind

My breath it starts to sigh

Touch her soft skin
I like this kind

The girl with the magic eyes

To breathe her smell
Just from a thought

I feel like I should die

To taste her lips
That I have fought

The girl with magic eyes

To have her close
Is all I want

I stare into the sky

Stuck to my dreams
My mind she haunts

The girl with magic eyes

If life is an endless cycle,
How come it stops?

For there is no stop,
Merely a pause

Because the human mind,
Is an endless cycle of stories

Stories which are forgotten,
Remembered only when one reaches the light

The light being a golden book,
Of ones history of happiness

Within this book of eternity,
Lies a deeper truth

Life is forever
Life is endless
Life is eternal
Life is worth living

But life is limited, possibilities are endless

For life is short,
Merely a chapter in the golden book