I became a brainless mute
My mouth droops open
Nothing but impassioned silence
For she was a giving disease

My nerves begin to intensify
Limited to a feeble breath
For my throat clenches up
As if her eyes excrete poison

If only one word would pop out
Just “hello”
But a remote smile
Would make me iced

To think the attraction of one girl
Could turn me senseless
A lusterless jelly body
A translucent emotion

To be turned down
Could explode my thumping heart
I just don’t want to be
A puddle of rejection

I sit planted in the frigid earth
Leaning back, eyes to the sky
A rich sigh hits my lips
For relaxation has come

As the sun glistens on my face
I shake my petals with rapture
For each one is a fraction of my life
Attached to my tickled smile

I dance with the refreshing wind
For she is one with me
Her silky crystal fingers
Embrace my entire body

Fluffy clouds of cream appear
Crying down their dewy tears
The nectar runs down my skin
Giving my body a pleasurable chill

The world embodies itself around me
Like a tender cotton blanket
Then I shut my eyes to equanimity
For my day was content

The butterfly soars again
Born from magic dust
Its massive wings
Torn no more

Rainbows of immense colors
Strength of crisp bones
To hold the strong smile
To the face of a tiny God

Flight courses through the body
Streams of candy to the eye
A flash to the pupil
A lustrous gloss of sugar

Body and soul back to one
The butterfly lifts to the sky
To experience such a vision
To endure a piece of heaven

The eyes glaze over
From the icy chill

Sand paper lips
Ruby together as one

Frozen hands squeeze
Creating warm inner pockets

Winter is here again
With her mighty power

The power to create beauty
And destroy it all at once

To close my eyes
IS to be free
To create a whole world
Beyond my shutters

A world where I can be me
A world where I can live
A world where I can be happy
A world where I am God

My dream

The little piece I have
While I am at slumber
Under light touches my lids
To open them to a word
One that hurts my eyes

Reality

Words can hurt

Call someone a name
Shoot a bullet into their heart
Keeping loading your gun with horrible words
Keep firing until the clip is empty
Until the heart is outlined with bullets of pain

Have you ever been hurt?
Do you know how it feels?

Throw salt into your eyes
So you cry as it stings

Put sand down your throat
So you can’t scream anymore from being dry

Now take a dull rusty nail
Yes the large kind
Covered in thick rusty layer of tears
Then move it slowly into your chest

So you can feel the true anguish burn

…ok
…maybe I lied

…It feels a lot worse

So think next time you open your mouth
For you are doing much more damage then you think

Enough to scar

I sit in the moon’s blue shadow
Something comes back to my mind
Hitting me like a hammer to a nail
This thought was locked away
The lost key was found
The steal cage was opened
I fought to keep this thought hidden
Clustering my mind with other things
But in the end my heart won
For it revived the key
But what do I do?
As I sit in the vast blue moonlight

I smile

To see a dying rose bloom
That is a sight

Each petal of life
Floats to the ground
Vanishing into the cold surface
Of the past

As time goes on
New petals of future grow
Filled with crimson power
Until the rose points to the sky
Welcoming all it has to give
And all I will receive

What a sight
To see a dying rose bloom

up
A better chance to go

Then to go
                down**

For the farther you climb down
The longer it takes to go back up

But while climbing up
You may fall down
Only to climb up once again

So always head higher
For a smile faces up
And a frown faces down.

Life is a painting
Not just a speck of paint

To be born
Is to start with a brush and paper

To grow
Is to move the brush

The older one gets
The more the colors awaken

If a speck of paint is not right
Paint over it and create anew

For if you focus on the one point
You may not get a pretty picture

I come at the crossroads
Five areas in one spot
Standing still in the present
But must pick a direction
For an answer

I have been told to choose left or right
Both ways that will change me
And the people around me

To head back, is the past
But to in the past
Leads no room to move forward
Straight to the future

Sure I can take left or right
That lead to alternate crossroads
Or take the straight path forward
To a future I create

My choice is made

America the beautiful
Is that beauty?

A man of no wealth
Sitting in a cold dark alley
Watching his own life slip away

Is that beautiful?

A mixed race of people
That seem to hate each other
Even though they all bleed the same color

Is that beautiful

Forests of green
Home to many lives
Being chopped to the ground

Is that beautiful?

Drugs that ****
Used at human will
Just to have a good time

Is that beautiful?

Depression hits a young adult
And the only way to relax
Is to take the life they had
Is that beautiful?

A man fights for his country
Attacking in fear
Only to come home in a box

Is that beautiful?

America the beautiful it is not

A simple rock is not so simple
For like they say
It’s the inside that counts
Once the outer shell is broken
A whole new world lies inside
A world of life
Full of many sparkles
Like in a person’s eyes
Full of energy

How could something small
Hold so much meaning
One word
Life

A volcano of a stomach
Lava starts to rise
Acid eating at the tubes
A person starts to cry

Nails of nerves pierce the skin
The fear is in the eyes
No matter what obstacle in the way
Still the person tries

The surroundings start to get intense
The brain it starts to fry
The soul starts to over heat
Then it starts to dry

The mind opens to a new
To see through deadly lies
The fists begin to tighten up
The looseness in the thighs

No matter what the person does
The body will surely die
For the person cannot match
Reality's larger size

Crimson leaks from my mouth
For I have been wounded

If my mouth didn't open
And the razor sharp words came out
I would not feel the pain
The leaks from my cuts

It is true that words can hurt

Not just others
But yourself

But who hurts worse?

The one with blood life pouring from words
Or the one smiling...

The weak become strong,
For the fake are blind

The weak eyes have been burned
By the intense heat of hurt
A pain that turns a person blind
Blurring the vision
For tears of sadness lie glued to the eyes
But glasses of wisdom
Will soon be given to the weak
Making the vision crystal clear
The power to see the true in all
And feel no more pain

For the weak will see to the future
And the fake will stumble on the way

All you need is imagination to be smart
A 4.0 means nothing
It is just a number
A rank in a society full of robots
Everyone is smart in their own way
A mentally challenge person
Spends most of their life
Being a kid
When most other people
Forget what it’s like
To live young
In my opinion
Your mind is what makes you smart

Can you not see the true world?
Through those blinded eyes
Can you not see a tear of liquid pain?
A grin that hides fear’s true identity
Of course you can’t
You rely on a pair of stereotypical glasses
Ones that blur your vision
Telling you what to see
Showing you a world of nothing
A world you think is heaven
For hell is behind your true eyes

Have you ever just stood
Not doing anything, just stood

Head above, eyes to the sky
Your mind with the switch off
A blank stare into an ocean in the air
Fishing for thoughts
Using your eyes for bait

Trying to catch the fish of time
With fins of happy memories

But you find it hard to hook this fish
For your state of depression
Breaks the line
Setting the memory free
To never be seen again

To catch the fish
You need the bait of happiness
And the cheerful strength to set the hook

For when you reel it in
A smile will rise
Leaving depression drowning in the water

Do you truly think a blade can stop your tears?
As it presses itself deep within your warm flesh
Moving ever so smooth like your arm was butter
Causing shots of pain to crawl along your body
Having healthy crimson life leak from the wound

Do you truly think a pill will take it all away?
One tablet that slides down your throat
So simple in three steps to relief
As your body tightens and makes a waterfall
Having your insides become outsides that burn

Is the pain worth it?
Is suicide the key?

Having a lake of tears from friends and family
The world to you is all hate and pain
But that isn’t even half of the circle

Happiness is out there
You need to search for it
For if you give up
You are giving up on yourself

The life you could have had
Happiness you can embody
It does all exist in this crazy world

How do I know?
I lived that life
And I changed

If life is an endless cycle,
How come it stops?

For there is no stop,
Merely a pause

Because the human mind,
Is an endless cycle of stories

Stories which are forgotten,
Remembered only when one reaches the light

The light being a golden book,
Of ones history of happiness

Within this book of eternity,
Lies a deeper truth

Life is forever
Life is endless
Life is eternal
Life is worth living

But life is limited, possibilities are endless

For life is short,
Merely a chapter in the golden book

A picture of me
Yet slightly blurred
But the eyes still stare
Taking a pathway
Deep inside my soul

I become one
With what I use to be
Once blurred in my mind
Has become so clear
Creating a new me

But one that should not be
For the past
Should not live on inside me
For I am afraid
Of what I will be

Sometimes I wonder
Am I alone?

One self sheltered in my own mind
Fetal position, head lowered

Or maybe I am not alone
Anger on my left
Sadness on my right
Insanity holding me tight
The three that grew up with me

Anger was there when people would hurt
Sadness when people died
Yet insanity is still with me now

I guess sometimes I am not alone
At least not in my sheltered mind

How can one flake of snow be so depressing?
Is it because it is a start of a gloomy day
Or because the human mind makes you think so
All it means is that more snow is coming
But the brain thinks snow means sadness
How does one feel by the end of the day?
When the snow has stopped
You see white everywhere but no harm
The first snowflake ruined your day
Why does one think like this?
Letting one snowflake ruin the day
Or should I say one thought?

My book is open
A book of blank pages
Empty thoughts
No feeling, just dead

My pen is set
A syringe of life
That flows out
With a flip of the wrist

A chill from my mind sets
A large dark dome
Painful thin walls
Dedicated to thinking

Traveling down my arm
The information highway
Reaching the end
From being the beginning

Then my hand is alive
Rose from the grave
Filled with warmth
Alert and ready

I create page after page of life
Filling the soft white
With deep black
I make a story

This is my style
This is my writing style

A knock and she is here
The door opens slowly
There she stands

The heart beats faster

Her lips move up
The shine of white shows
A small breath exhales

The heart beats faster

Her eyes star
The body turns to mush
A small wink

The heart beats faster
The leap of contact
Her arms wrap around
A surprise burst of feeling

The heart beats faster

The feeling of being one
The warmth of two together
Eyes closed a sigh of happiness

The heart beats faster

As you hold each other together
You know you will be one forever
You are her hero for she is your dove
Together you the feeling of true love

A colorful oil painting
A moist cake with frosting
Glaciers in a frozen sea
This is the image of the sky

Bubbles on warm bath water
Froth on steamed milk
A heaven of white sheets
This is the image of the sky

A for that embodies us all
So big up close
Yet so small from a far
For the image of the sky
Can be but a dream
That becomes a reality

Time has ended so I lay
The end to a very painful day
I lay silent with nothing to say
Here in my dark room

With eyes open I can hardly see
Staring at the ceiling thinking of me
Wondering in the future what I will be
Here in my dark room

Will I still have my dark room
The place where there is peace
Or will I feel deceased
In a new dark room

But maybe when the night turns to shine
I won’t feel so but feel fine
Until night when I come back and whine
Here is my dark room

Now it is late I can’t see no more
My arm falls and drops to the floor
The liquid dreams in my head start to pour
Here is my dark room

The sounds of a thousand horses
Spirits riding the gusting wind
Dressing in armor of the night
Their weapons flashing through the land
Muffled sounds of the army
Are heard in the distance
Battle cries with horses screams
They start to rise
The force becomes louder and stronger
Then stops
Dead silence

Then the weapons flash again
The army attacks
Slicing through Mother Nature
Arrows of fire fall piercing the ground
The screams rumble the earth’s heart

Finally the battle has ended
The earth is wet with nature’s blood
Traces of the furious fight
Into piles that were left behind
Now only time can heal
Until the army of the storm returns

Laying motionless in the soft grass
My mind shuts off
My heart turns on
I stare endlessly into deep black
Into the soul of the night
I hear sweet calming music
A deep feeling of a beat
From the small band in my heart
My eyes start to dance
From one star to another
My tongue slips in
Swaying from side to side
The whole sky was my ballroom
The dark had never been more beautiful
More full of color
Then that one night

Stand at a change
A life in black and white

Silence surrounds the area
Making the body feel whole

Trees creep over and gaze with power
They seem to sneer and laugh
Telling to choose
Each holding an arrow showing a different path
A path of good or evil

But which is right?
Could one land to another arrow?

How could something look so simple
Yet be so hard to accomplish
Just walk one way
But that way could not be the way

Silence grows deeper and the heart trembles
Time is running out
The heart a ticking clock

It is time to choose
But so many paths!
Life has turned into a labyrinth

The mind tells one path
While the heart chooses another
Yet the feet are bricks to the ground

Only one thing left to do
Choose…

The path has been chosen

I opened the door today
Took my hidden skill
Added it to myself

We are one once again

The power of the blood
Runs through my veins again
Down to my hands
Making my fingers tingle

I grab my wand
With the magical ink
To create a picture from my mind
On a sheet of paper
But not of images
With words
Every word sends a pulse to the reader’s mind

I give them the paint
They paint the picture
For the power is back
The power to write

You came back
All these years you angered me
I tried to get rid of you
Delete you from my mind

You came back
Only to see me
You could of picked anyone
To hurt and torture
But you picked me

You came back
Now I sit in tears
All because of you
You brought me to this
I am me, don’t change that

You came back
Now I will end it
I sit with a gun to your head
Plead for your life
Say you are sorry

I am sorry!
I said plead for your life!
I am sorry!

Forget it!
I will make you never come back
For I have the gun to my head!

My paper of dots
Pen marks
Each mark a thought wasted away
No words
Just dots

Connect the dots
You get a story

Erase the dots
You lose an idea

Draw a circle
A circle of dots
A life of thoughts
My life

Connect the dots in my life
Listen to my story

I drive down a road
There lies a dead dog
But I don’t see a dead dog

I see a speeding car
I see a person not caring
I see a happy dog
I see a curious dog
I see a father making a sign
I see a sign for “Lost Dog”
I see a mother calling out
I see s mother holding a child
I see a tear
I see a boy crying

I don’t see a dead dog
I see a waste of a good life
From a person who still has one

I stand at the crossroads
Four ways to a vision
A car in the distance
Should I let it take me down?
Stop my life in a flash
Lay there undecided
Or should I pick a way
A path to a different road
Each to a different me
If I pick, I could be wrong
Four choices, one mind
If I don’t pick, I will never know
Who I am
So who am I?
North, East, South, West
The path must be chosen
My choice

There is a book inside of me
A book of white
It is not square, but a circle
Some pages are written
Some are still blank
Some pages torn from pain
Some pages strong with joy
Everyday another page written
Until the day I pass on
Then my book is complete
My journey will be over
My story will then be read to be told
But now the book has many blank pages
I have plenty of time to fill them
With my life, my words
My circle of life
In a single book

I am Earth
A ***** man in wool
A stressed mind
I can crack the ground in half
To pull you down to my level
I wrap my life around things
To make them reach to the sky

I am Wind
A beautiful lady in silk
A relaxed mind
I can destroy a world
With just a puff from inside
I can bring the heat down
With a throw of my hand

I am Water
An aged woman in damp clothes
A flowing mind
I can sink a ship
With my heavy wet tears
I can nourish the seed
To bring green back to the land

I am Fire
A hurt man in torn clothes
An angry mind
I can turn an area to dust
With the spark from my eyes
I can bring warmth
To a depressed frozen family

We are the elements
God’s power to the people
Underestimate us
And you may bring the world down

The golden sun smiling at me
Sending his rays of pleasure
I sit and smile back
The crisp wind sings her faithful song
As she runs her silky hands through my hair

I sit on a small wooden bench
This is my territory
My happy spot
My eyes are closed
I create a slide show in my mind

A world with no fear
A world with  peace
A world without war

I open my eyes and feel my heart
It tries to jump out of my chest
But I hold it in

Houses made of tight colorless flesh
Roads of cold steal ice
A sea of thick liquid oil
A sky of sharp dark dust
Holding a hated blood red sun

I walk around sluggish
Palms planted in my jeans
Scratching against the rough blue material
I hear the screams of children
Sounds of pain and anger
Shooting me in the head
Piercing pain rattles my skull

I look p and clear my injured mind
Then close the shades to darkness
A vision appears of a slide show

Houses made of vibrant sweet candy
Roads of bright golden riches
A sea of crisp soft liquid
A sky of fresh smelling roses
Holding a giving warm sun

My palms relax
A grin of happiness hits my face

Then the blood curdling screams return
The haunting sound kills my vision
I open my eyes of tears
I see the cruel world I live in

But this is not my world
This is not my vision
This is reality

I don’t know what to write
The mind clouded with so many things
But not able to write any down
Imagine a world in your head
But you can’t build it
Because you can’t write it down
Your pen hits the paper
Only making dots
Now moving anymore
You try to move it
But no more ink leaks
Your mind plays tricks
As you stare at a blank world
All I need is a cord from my mind
To a screen
Then I could view my thoughts
But now
The pages are blank
A world is unwritten
I don’t know what to write

A window cracks
A chill of air seeps through
I lie still in my bed
In my dream world

It hits my lips
Turning them to vast cold deserts

My eyes open awake

My tongue moistens my lips

I sit up frightened
The scope of my eye catches the window
The entrance
The exit

I walk over and touch the air
I star into endless darkness
Wondering
Thinking
Was he trying to get me again?

I cannot sleep at night
I roll in my loneliness
I need comfort
I need warmth
I need my love

The wool blanket that secures me
With it I relax
My own world
My peace

Without the blanker I freeze
My heart freezes
Cracks
Shatters

I lie starring into nothingness
I miss my love
I miss my blanket

I believe I got lucky

Lucky to find such a glowing treasure
Lucky to have found pure happiness
Lucky to feel such wonderful pleasure
Lucky to feel the warmth closeness

Lucky to have seen such a beautiful sight
Lucky to feel the intense love
Lucky to be able to sleep a very long night
Lucky to have found my holy white dove

Yes I believe I got luck
When I found her

Can happiness and sadness
Be in the same tear

I believe so

The feeling of pure greatness
Happy as ever
The tear wants to shed
But when the feeling goes
Happy is over

Sad kicks in
Yet the tear has not fallen
Then the emotions collide
Creating a liquid diamond
Wasted to the ground

Can happiness and sadness
Be in the same tear

I believe so

When I sleep at night

I am in my own world
I am the God
I am the creator
I am the ruler
I am the king

Don’t wake me up
Cause my world to collapse

Just let me sleep
Just let me relax

I lay at night
Feeling alone
Aching body
With cold stiff bones
The pain in my heart
Make me moan

I miss you my love

I lay there still
Thinking in fear
Of not seeing you again
And holding you near
From my eye
Falls a salty tear

I miss you my love

So I stare out
At the endless night
Wishing you were here
To hold me tight
We are so far apart
That just isn’t right

I miss you my love

But I’ll bee strong
And stop the cry
I will be yours again
When you stop by
Then stay with you
Till the day I die

I miss you my love

I want you my love
I need you my love
I love you my love
I won’t leave you my love
I give you my love
I must feel you my love

I must be with you and really miss you my love

How could you do this?
Why did you do this?
You just went off
Full of anger
Spitting out one word
That took his life
You have such a short fuse
One touch and you blow up
He did nothing to you
Yet you killed him
Well a metal stare
Through your one eye
That is all it took
Why?
Oh why?
Why did you make me pull the trigger?

Why must you try to change me?
You have no right
You act as if you are my God
Yet I created me
My body was but shell
That I made full of life
But you try to drain it

Stop trying to change me
Let me be

I remember when my head was an empty box
Light as a feather, useless
Now it is a book
Full of memories, full of knowledge

I remember when my mouth was a constant frown
Not even strings could hold it up
Now it is a smile of sunshine
Spreading happiness to others

I remember when my body felt lifeless
Melted and would slouch
Now it is strong
Upright and healthy

My past was broken
I wasn’t even there
Now I am back
One with the world

I remember