You were born too soon
I was a fixture in the Pediatric ICU
Being alone with no one to share my fears was unbearable
So, I prayed day and night for my baby daughter
But it wasn’t meant to be
When your precious breath no longer could be felt
I cradled you to my *****
Your eyes closed forever
I held you until the end
I swelled with fear
Would I ever find peace?
Yes…
Her life will mean something
Her eyes will see again
Her heart will beat again
Some child will be made whole
To save another mother the pain of losing a child
If only you knew.…you were so loved
Softly the words came to my heart

~I knew Mommy I knew~

When you want to know the why
And nobody knows the how
You are chained with pain
Suffering without an answer

It feels like one part of my brain is fighting the other
To win control and claim my sanity
It shouldn’t be that way

I never knew who you were
In that past, now a blur
It was not my concern, I concur
You have grown, of that I am sure

I want you just the way you are
In life experiences
You have come so far
But now I raise the bar

I want you for who you can be
The new man who married me
Demon and trouble free
Because now it is we

You need to see
You can’t change…
Who you were?
Who you are

But..

Who you can be?
Is now up to me
As long as you love me
Everyday
You will get a fresh start
A bigger place in my heart
You can only be
The one I love
Because
Of the way you love me

I fall apart
Frozen in awe
Seeing the beauty as it hits
My arms parted to feel the whole of my being.
I am washed of pain and heartbreak
That I will never have again.
I stand free for all to behold
As this heart has been given
Another chance…

You left your mark on me
It is there for all to see

Most of all me…

It is in the smile on my face
The twinkle of my eye

The way we kiss
When we say goodbye

It is etched upon my heart
As I bask in your loving embrace

you thief
who stole my
simple dreams and
hopes
and dashed them
to pieces on the floor of our lives
while I watched
helpless in my efforts
to save them

you stole a piece of
my life and
ran away a
thief in the night
who kept looking over
his shoulder to see
if he’s been caught

the difference here
is this thief has
no profit
because we both
end up
empty handed

Pat for kjm
April 12, 1986