i thought you'd color up my black and white thoughts
i thought you'd cast off all the demons inside me
the demons creeping up in me
at 4.15am
i thought you'd show me
what happiness feels like

but time goes on
and you're starting to realize
how miserable
and torn
and broken i am

*

so it's true what they say,
broken things never once meant anything

-*l.m

i feel like
a poisonous flower
planted in a garden
full of beautiful flowers

and maybe,
that's why
no beautiful butterfly
will come
to pollinate me
some love and happiness

-*l.m

Father i see you
i see you as you drink away
your screaming father why?
take another drink to calm the voice of hate
tripping and falling all over the place
father please slow down the pace
and take a seat for your sake
leaving me while you take mother with you
throwing away what you work for
on prizes that go over your rate.

While turning your back on who is my role model
shes tries to keep you sane  
as you throw yourself to other creatures
she turns her head in pain
holding a drink to please the husband you choose to be
catching her breath holding each and every word
disappointed with the world  
as she tries to get away
she sees herself stuck
in the same place as yesterday.


Father i see more in you
i expect more from you
sober you is such a different you
memories, great memories are in my heart
we share times together as family when your can is gone
you goof around and exaggerate
and make me laugh on my happiest days
these are the times i call you daddy
my daddy please stay.

I see you as many
your night and day
promise to be temporary father
and forever the daddy i ask to stay
be the husband my mother deserves
and grow old happy and faithful
as i teach my kids the same
be the person they chose to be
don't make them ask you
why you haven't changed.

Ayo technology
Accept my apology
This is my today's status
To keep up with my statue
The world is busy clicking
Can't hear mother nature speaking
50 friends online but only five
Are the real ones in my life
I wish for a hug and a kiss
They upload me with a hug and a kiss
Kids glued to facebook
And no longer face book
Posting knowledge of dead truth
Do they even know blackberry is a fruit?
Yet if you don't have a phone
You are not part of the clone.

Ask me,
Ask me now daddy.
What I want to do when I grow up.
I want to be happy.
No, not happy
I want to be happiness.
I want to be joy and cheer and admiration
Confidence and peace and optimism

I don’t want to be like others, no, I want to be love.
The smile that comes across your face when they say your name,
The look that makes your heart skip a beat,
The song that makes you rethink every second you spent together.
I don’t wanna be the poem, I wanna be the emotion behind it,
Not the first kiss, let me be the nerves,
Not the dance, let me be the excitement,
Not the Officiant, let me be the vows.

When I grow up, I don’t wanna be a doctor mommy.
I want to be the feeling when someone’s told there’s a cure,
Or when a parent finds out their child will live to be a teenager,
Or maybe I want to be 3 in the morning when a mother holds her child for the first time.

I want to be affection and adoration and passion
Oh, I want to be passion.
Let me be passion.
So that you cannot do without me, because nothing without me has meaning.
So that when you are playing the final strain or scoring the winning goal,
Or writing the last chapter or finishing the last paint stroke,
You will think of me.

Maybe I’ll be allegiance or devotion or respect.
I won’t be the soldier, I’ll be the loyalty.
Or the surprise in a child's heart when their dad comes home early,
Maybe I’ll be the feeling when a father meets his baby for the first time,
And the child already knows his name.

I want to be piety and faith and worship.
I don’t want to be the pastor, I’ll be the lesson.
Maybe I’ll be the obligation behind the first baptism or first communion.
Maybe I’ll be the words when someone so low is told someone loves them.
I’ll be the salvation of the gospel,
The redemption to the guilty,
The forgiveness to the sinners.

When I grow up,

I want to be the opposite of sorrow,
The antonym of misery,
The reverse of fear,
The contradiction of rejection,
The antithesis of disappointment,
The inverse of insecurity,
I want to be the alleviation of anxiety,
The ease of pain,

When I grow up,
I want to be happy.