Patience

Patience Jan 2017

My insides are rotting
My veins are clogging
My heart keeps stopping
My brain is screaming

Dissociate to escape
But it's not enough
Doesn't take away
Tough reality

Hitting my head
Wishing to be dead
Dissociate permanently

Patience Jan 2017

**** me already

Tired of having
A gun against my neck
Please pull the trigger
I just want to be dead.

Patience Nov 2016

I lost you (if I ever even had you)

my heart is breaking
my spirit aching
spinning around
in circles is taking
a toll on my soul
deep down
there's a hole
and its swallowing
me whole until there's no
more of me left
to compose.

Patience Nov 2016

asphyxiation

Sometimes my Psychie drowns me;
Puts a damp cloth across my face
and Pushes down, hard around
The nose and mouth, taking
breath I try to Pry out
of my strangled mouth.

And suddenly, I can't breathe
demons thriving inside me
My head is filling with their screams
Defacing who I see
in the mirror, I can't breathe
I need some help from someone
Please

Patience Oct 2016

Untitled

someone, something
please help me

Patience Oct 2016

Untitled

In my dreams
I keep on dying
Waking up
with tears, crying
For my self, for my death,
Mourning what
hasn't happened yet.

But I'm always
holding the knife
And I didn't know
that I wanted to die.

Patience Oct 2016

As I Jumped

It's when it gets to the point
Where my mind's callin the shots
And my feet just won't stay still
And disorder is my thoughts

Where I'm waiting on the ledge
I line my feet along the edge
And peek down the little drop
Distancing bottom from top

And my right foot won't stop tapping
Every bad thought's overlapping
My saddest side just won't stop laughing
My cowardice begins to lack and

As I jumped I saw the sun shine
Parallel views of my own eyes
Resting in the blue cracks lies
Content I never had tried.