you will never understand why it hurts
you will never feel my pain
you think you know just because you did ******
you don't understand because you aren't me

Am i not enough
Am i to broken
Am i to ugly
Am i to me

Is anyone questioning why they breathe
Or speak
Or react
Is anyone else wondering why they try when they could just die

Here i am 16 and smoking a cigarette
Here i am not addicted but reliant
Here i am smoking because there is nothing else to do
I cut bit that doesnt last
Smoking seems to last longer but still it hurts
The pain is real
But so is this cigarette
Newport platinums or l&m menthol 100s
My mom doesnt know but doesnt she
How else do you explain whole cigarettes dissapearing
Does she think she think she smokes that much
How about lighters dissapearing just misplacing them

You say you care
But are you the one drying my tears

I cant cope
Ive lost all hope
I feel like a dope
You will say nope
But all i can see is the rope

Go after her she is skinny
Shes not like me skinny fat
Love her she is prettier than me
Dont love me with my messed up knees
Want her she is short and all
Dont want me im tall
I fall all the time
Im not right
I will hurt you and there will be no return
It will hurt me to but it will be better with out me
I will leave and you can have her i dont want to hurt anyone anymore

You judge me but then ask me why i have low selfesteem
You tell me i dont look good then wonder why second guess everything
You make me cry then ask me why
You make jokes about private stuff then act like its all fine
Im leaving and i wont come back i hate how you make me feel
Like im not good enough for you

I called my dad
He picked up on the 3rd ring
We talked for a while
He laughed alot
It felt like he was laughing at me

I go from being insanely hungry to forcing myself to eat
I go from being insanely happy to trying not to cry