Can't you hear my screams
Within the whisper of my words?
Or my growing absence
In life and in the world?
Can't you tell I'm dying
By the words I never speak
Or that you never see me
Or do you think I'm weak?
Can't you tell?
My mind is killing me?
He's there in every breath I take
In everything I see
Can't you tell...
Or do you refuse to see?

July 1, 2017

I'm lost in a world of my own design
Withered and ravaged with pain

Locked inside my own mind
Soiled and torn..and stained

Unable to breathe, unable to cope
In a place I was born too late

Afraid of what may happen to me
Of what will be my fate

Memories tear away at my soul
Like claws of a demons hand

The little child inside of me
Withers away like sand

Into myself deeper I crawl
Hiding my eyes to the truth

The little child inside of me
Was taken in my youth

The tattered shreds that once were her
Are tear stained, ***** and gray

There is no hope of finding her
She was victim to the prey

Inside the prison walls of my soul
I throw away the key

For when they tore away the child
They destroyed me

June 17, 2017

Demons line the hallway
Filed in one by one
Waiting for their solace
In the setting sun
When the clock strikes midnight
And the angels go to bed
Then it is their playtime
The time to take the dead
The ones who are all alone
And lost to their own pain
Welcome them with open arms
To enter their waiting veins
Take away the anguish
Of life as it has become
Take away my memory
Of a lost and broken home
Take away the fear in me
So I may lay my head
Upon this concrete I call home
And the cardboard of my bed
Let me forget that I once served
This country long ago
Just like they have forgotten me
As soon as I came home
Demons take me now I pray
Give me peace for a time
Quiet the longing of my soul
And the noises in my mind
Give me dreams of a happier place
As you take away my soul
Let me drift away in peace
And let me wake no more

June 11, 2017

My heart is breaking
Scattering in a million pieces
Taking bits of my soul as it goes
There is nothing left
No fight, no reason
To go on
It's been broken so many times
Nothing but dust remains
I've lost all hope
All memory of who I was meant to be
I'm so tired, I want to rest
Close my eyes
and be reborn to my next life
This one is nothing but pain
I can't survive any more
And I've begged for relief
For too long

March 14, 2017

Tell me about your heart.
Tell me about your struggles, your pain.
How you dug yourself out of hell
and overcame through the greatest odds.
Show me your love,
your compassion, your kindness.
Show me by deed, love for your fellow man.
A meal for a neighbor, or a man on the corner.
A coat for a stranger in the cold.
A warm bed for a friend who has none.
Bleed with me over the injustices in this world.
Your passion over wrong,
and your fight for what is right.
Show me your soul, and I will be yours for life.

Forest darkness
Shadowed moon
Lost in sadness
Grief and gloom
Voices ringing
In my head
Do it now!
You are already dead!
Surface crawls
Under my skin
Eating my flesh
Exposing my sin
Behind the door
Demons abound
Wanting to take me
Into the ground
Eyes sown shut
Lips can't scream
My body is melting
Into a dream
This hell in my mind
When will it end?
"Never" it whispers
"You are mine till the end"

Lost in a glen
Dark and dank
When will I return?
My soul is wandering
To a place unknown
What do I need to learn?
The branches of trees
Dig into my flesh
Ripping away my pride
The horrors of the ruined depth
May lead me to my demise
I feel my ego
Becoming twisted and bent
Showing me what I serve
Will there be anything left?
Or am I getting what I deserve?
The winds of hate are cold and worn
As they are blown away from me
My heart feels weak
But suddenly whole
What happened to the pieces in me?
Way down deep
In the core of my soul
I see a tiny light
So small at first I could not see
Because I would not give in to the fight
Years of calluses
Fall from my eyes
And at last I could see
The mirror imagine of my soul
That was never meant to be

December 21, 2016