Pamela Penta

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

If all at once I went away
And never called again
Would you feel sad or even miss
The one you once called friend?

Would you feel a loss at all
Would I cross your mind
Think of me with loving thoughts
Would you take that time?

Or would my memory fade away
And disappear from you
Would I matter anymore
If I went away from you?

June 17, 2012

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

If I Mattered to You

If I mattered to you
You would never lie to me
You would love me enough
To make time for me

If I mattered to you
You would pick up the phone
You would care enough
To admit you were wrong

If I mattered to you
You would care if you hurt me
You would go out of your way
To make things right with me

If I mattered to you
If I mattered to you
Well now, you don't matter to me.

June 17, 2012

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

My Choice

My life is what I choose to make it.
I can choose today to look at the experiences of my life in a negative or positive way.
Every experience is there to teach me something.
Is my behavior today one I would be proud of?
Would I tell those I love about it?
Or would I try to hide it, and sneak around in order to do it?
Does it feed my soul, or does it strip away another piece of who I am?
Every choice I make, everything I do, will do one... Or the other.
I can live my life to build myself up, or tear myself down.
To bring joy to others, or pain.
To prove those who abused me right, or to stand above and take my power back.
To spread love or hate, to bring hope or fear.
To live in peace... Or chaos.
Once I am aware, I am then responsible.
There are no more excuses, no more denial, just a choice.
And it's all mine.
What will I choose today?

January 15, 2012

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

Be You.

Speak your truth.  All of it.  In order to be free, you must face your reality.
Work.  Find something to do with your hands and your mind.  The world owes you nothing.
Feed yourself.  There is no shame in flipping burgers if that is all you can do.
Help others.  The world is full of those who need help, if only a listening ear.
Have faith.  If you are doing the right thing, right things will come.
Honor yourself.  Eat right, go for a walk, play, sing, dance.
Rest.  Allow yourself time to heal.

January 19, 2014

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

Let Go of the Pain

I see the pain inside you, and there is nothing I can do
I know I'm part of what hurts your heart
But I can't give relief to you
You need to search inside yourself
And find a way to fight
A way to put the past in the past
And leave it there for life
You must unchain yourself
From the pain of your past
If you are ever to live free
Fight your way
Back to the place
That you truly want to be
You have the strength within you
To take the first step to heal
To reach out your hand and ask for help
Tell God how you feel
Know my child you are but human
And mistakes are a part of you
Leave them behind you and move ahead
Start your life anew
The pain of your past cannot hurt you
If you leave it where it belongs
Take the step and move ahead
Upward, and onward. Be strong.

February 8, 2015

I wrote this for my son, five months before he died of a drug overdose one month before his 31st birthday. Drug addiction is a treatable disease. Help is available. Don't make your mother bury you.

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

In the Silence of the Night

I close my eyes, and you come to me
In the silence of the night is where we meet
To love, to touch, to share our souls
To be here together until daylight comes
We share of ourselves, leave nothing unbared
No regrets, No shame, everything shared
Our bodies may go when the dawn does come
But our love lingers on, and stays joined as one.

March 5, 2012

Pamela Penta Apr 2016

A Little Sad

I'm writing this tonight, with such pain in my heart,
There I go.....I think I'm going a little crazy.....
I see you at night, Even as you were here
There I go, I think I've gone a little mad.
I close my eyes and I can hear you breathing...
There I go, I think I'm a little more than sad.

I feel the pieces of you slipping away
And all that was good in me too
I feel like running away, but I don't know where I'd hide
All I want to do, is to be with you.

I can't let anyone know how I feel
For they'd take you way from me for good
I don't think I could lose you forever
Because without you I'm no good.

I can't seem to find the thread
That leads me back to my mind
I'm afraid I may lose it as well
And the result will not be kind

For if I lose the final thread
That leads me back to me
How will I find my way back
If they take you away from me.

There you go, I think I'm just a little more than sad.