i always thought those books that i read
in lover's conflicts and wars they dealt
meant something beyond these images in my head
meant more than mere novels, something the poets felt
but oh boy, was i terribly wrong
i made my own suffering prolong,
i ain't the "forever" material or ****,
simply a means to an end is what fits,
i will never be nobody's moon or stars
because i am adorned with scars
given by life, it's people and it's maker
all through these 22 years of being a waker
rejected, dejected and an outcast at it's best
i ain't special but simply different from the rest
a fool i have been all along, believing it was my superpower
oh good lord, i was simpy never on anybody radar
the unlikable, unwanted and unlovable soul
who had no poise, passion or a gritty goal
i have been loitering in delusion, hallucinating the impossible
all the while i have done nothing but been an imbecile
i maybe good but never great
in the world of curves, a definite straight
being humble was my only shot at becoming better
but in the end, it got me to this point where i am typing this letter by letter
all i am is a wishful thinker who lives in the world of imagination
a dull, boring kid trapped in an adult's body and adaptation
a stupid girl who is the easiest of all
an ugly-hearted, too trusting of a call
i am pathetic, the dumbest being to ever grace this planet
as useless and replaceable as the middle of a magnet

Stood I staring at the building I once called- "My school"
With a heart so pure, I was too easy to befool.
All these years went by and yet the memories stayed,
Every night I cried, for the horrors to desipate- I prayed.

Yet every detail of that 'incident' clung to my bones like Ivy,
Making me curse myself for harbouring all the naivety.

Often wondered I- "Did I bring this upon myself?
Or maybe if I'd yelled a little louder that day, someone would've finally helped?
Was it my outgoing nature that made them think that I "wanted it"
Or was it the fact that I liked one of them is what "lured" him in?
In places where I didn't want to be touched or pried,
They took and took until I was destroyed and dead eyed;
Bleeding from every pore, torn from the inside,
I laid on the cold floor waiting for someone to stride,
And stop the two demons who's faces I still have registered in my brain,
The two humans who lost their humanity with evil flowing in their veins.

But nothing happened and no knight in shining armour came,
I was left there with my battered body and shattered soul, in vain.
It was only after hours of darkness that saw I some light,
That made me squint because it was too bright.
I got up- burning and tripped in the pool of my own blood,
That ripped a scream out of my lungs and made tears flood.
I rose again and again until I finally limped my way out,
Leaving behind the ashes of my former self- covered in a shroud.

I decided that I won't be a victim of what happened to me,
Rather believed that justice will be served and they shall see,
How I chose to not succumb to death and thus, had a rebirth,
And like the Phoenix- I came, I saw, I conquered my dearth.

So today, standing in front of the structure that housed my fears for so long, I ponder-
"What didn't **** me, has definitely made me stronger"
But I'm not a mere survivor who went on with her life like before,
Rather, I'm a warrior who slayed her fears and settled the score;
Suffering is my nectar, the energy source on which I run,
- A product of pain, an Angel, even though a fallen one.

So what if an example was set at the cost of me losing my innocence,
It made thousands of people stand up against the grave offence;
Striving each day to make this place safer for the entire human race,
And this, dear reader, will be enough for me to finally rest my case.