I used to think
that maybe
if I tapped the doorframe thrice
or switched the lights on and off (nine times)
or missed every crack in the pavement
then maybe
just maybe I wouldn't lose you

and I used to believe
that when the stars shone at night
they were sent to watch over
and keep me safe
from the things I may do

and I kept to my routines but
I woke up on a cold morning
and you were gone
and no tapping doorframes
or turning lights on and off
or missing cracks in the road
could bring you back

so I didn't bother

and the stars are burning out
and one day they may just end us all
they are no beings
sent to care
or calm
they are ruthless
designed to fight
and succeed

so I stopped believing

(you took away my dreams
when you left)

you said, "what's the problem?"
and i could see your heart break
i was the only one who knew
what you had seen not five minutes ago

you said, "it'll pass."
as you sat in your room alone again
night after night
too afraid to let anyone in
because you were even more afraid
to let anything out.

you said nothing
as i watched you rip your heart out
through the tears
and permanently attatch it to your sleeve.

will you love me in the morning?
the same way you say you do when
my clothes are on the floor and
my breathing is just a little heavier than usual
and we are closer than we would be
if we had just gone out for that drink
with a friend
I am looking into your eyes and I can be sure
you will not love me in the morning
or the evening
or ever
you do not even love me when
my clothes are on the floor

please don't let me go
and
please don't leave me alone