Your presence has been missed since your absence
Nevertheless, your absence caused me to be ever more at present
Thank you for preparing me for your absence
Your absence has never been that hard in the nonemotional aspect

October 10 2017
10:30AM

Still nowhere to be found
It's 10:33 in the morning
It hasn't messaged yet
It's 10:34 in the morning
A second feels like an hour
An hour feels like a day
A day feels like forever
Don't tell me that it'll be missing until the end of the day?
Technology fails big time
The office phone rings
I imagine it was the expected digits ringing
It rarely talks, it constantly messages
So, I'm in no position to expect
I'll keep on running if you call my name
The Haim song says

October 5 2017
21:00

Not once did I look myself in the mirror today
I know, how it will reflect such horror
Not once did I comb my hair today
I know, how the comb will show the tangles of the day
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

My eyes are tired
My back aches
My legs feel numb
My hands are tensed
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

Songs are on repeat
1,2,3... one more time
Not making sense of the lyrics
Just swaying, moving to the beats
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

Crawling in the dark
Technology disconnects
On my feet, I go
Chaos won't matter
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

My brain aches
My head wants to drift
I chose to sleep for an hour or 2
I woke up, not pleased
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

Sleep cannot make the pain go
My arms and hands still ache when I stop
Ears are burning due to the headphones
Cannot play loudly
Just being considerate of the many
1,2,3... one more time, Go!

May 28 2018
10:25 PM

It feels like home where you are
It was a bit hurtful when it was said
I didn't feel anything when it already happened
To "Goodbye" I surrender
Go ahead, poke my heart
Yes/No, when it starts
Click continue, it's a trap
I'm lost, I need a map
Here's to the Edge
I'm falling
Honey and I
I will Go Slow
I'll be running if you call my name
I know you won't tell me you need me, right now
Night so long, Guess, it's too short to stay strong

Soon it will fade away
Like a flower that blooms in September
It will wither just before the end of October
To the mood of the wind, it will sway

15:50 | December 5 2021

Background song: Jet Lag (Simple Plan ft. Natasha Bedingfield)

You are the sunrise to my sunset
You say, "sweet dreams" in your afternoon
I feel your presence on the screen when we meet

Your eyes are my sea while in my room
All of my days these days are on repeat
But in my loop, you are the best part
Next kiss, next hug, next time we hold hands
We do not know when, but I am certain it will come

When I feel like I will die being in the same place
You make me feel that my existence is not out of time and place... My solace
I remember our moments together like they just happened yesterday
Such fun when I remember all the little things about you in the little things of my every day

How many times did I imagine conversing with you
How many times did I imagine our mundane yet extraordinary moments
I am someone who has a hard time remembering dreams
But I know no matter how bleak the memory is, I remember.. I remember that YOU in my dreams

My summer feels like winter (without you)
So, I guess, we feel the same temperature
Each waking day, a day closer to you
Just one request... keep the LOVE ablaze

November 12 2017
19:55

I saw you at the bank
We were one seat apart
For one second our eyes met
What my eyes tried to communicate is blank

I want to say, "Hi"
I see you in my peripheral vision
You were glancing at me, once, twice, thrice
Was it just an illusion?
Was it because of this admiration?

The more I look at you
The more I see your handsomeness
The angst, the earrings, the tattoos, the overall attitude...
They melt me ~ I am without a word

I picture us together
You holding my hand to forever
I see this affection staying forever
Do you even think of me, ever?

I'll be off for 3 weeks
Not seeing you will not make my admiration weak
I look forward to seeing you right at your gate
There you are sitting...
A cup of coffee on one hand, a cigarette on the other

​I thought I was dreaming
When my mother told me he was outside waiting
I was extremely happy to see him
It was expected, but I never thought that it would come true

He was the same as before
He was everything and so much more
Still mesmerized by how he looks at me with those brown eyes
Still mesmerized by how well he still gets me by surprise

I should have listened more
I should have let him explain
But I just talked about myself and my pain
I listened not to understand but reply

I wanted to hurt him
So I threw sharp words at him
The more I realized how much I love him
At the end of the day, I never even said "I miss him"

When I saw him
All I wanted to do was hug him
I forgot that he was the one who made me realize
that I'm capable of being hurt, that I'm not a robot, that I'm vulnerable and that I could die.

All I ever did was write poems he would not even read
Pour my heart out in letters that I couldn't even speak
Words that I so long for him to hear
This love that just won't disappear

and there he was walking again
and there I was trying to be strong again
I guess, I'll never have a second chance at this romance
If only I could turn back time, I would grab the chance

All the questions he answered
All the questions he never answered
Please, come back to me, Oh, dear
All I want is for you to be near

If I get another chance
one more kiss, one more embrace
I'll gladly trace the outline of his face
All I want to do is just to be with him

My ego was up at that time
I wasted the time
What could have happened
If what I did was the opposite of what I chimed.

March 23 2019
14:44

Andy the man
He is now a vegetarian
Thank you for the corrections
When my grammar needs attention

As you start your new venture
I hope for an even brighter future
Andy, we will miss you
Tomorrow, in Zambales, we will see you

Ever helpful, and patient
Your humility is beyond compare
You are more than a coworker
You are an uncle, and a friend

Andy the man
He is now a businessman
Andy, we will miss you
So, in Zambales, we will see you

Ants they fall
It makes you want to cry
They stumble by the step
Hooray! It's nothing but an embrace
only to find themselves recuperating, again
Finding the route, the smell, the line, their goal
ah! A biscuit ~ don't you dare fall

October 17 2017
16:16

Okay, it's funny that I listen to songs
and I don't know where each of the songs belong
Been listening to the same album since last night
The message of every song is not plain in sight
Came to like some songs in the album
The melody talks to me with delight
I like how the singer sometimes talks in verbatim
The lyrics are different, but the melody speaks with delight
I got inspired to listen to this album
It could be the CD that I did not buy in the aquarium
I just used "aquarium" because it rhymes with "album"
Here are my favorites - "Happy Ending", "Don't Tell Me", "He Wasn't"
But I fell in love with the song, "How Does It Feel?"...
I knock on your door, but "Nobody's Home"

I don’t hear from you as much as before
I’m as patient as can be
I try to deny my expectations
I’m as patient as can be

I try not to worry about you thinking about me
I know that you are not
I try not to care of you, me and us
When in fact, there is us because I care about you a lot

If you could only look into my brain
See how everything is causing me so much strain
I hope that you truly care about me
I hope that you truly love me

I try to just feel nothing about everything
I try to appear that I don’t care if you care or not
I wish that you really don’t want to lose me
Because I feel that you can and you will, in reality

I don’t know what I want from you
I don’t even know if I truly love you
If I’m just in love with your existence
I want me to be your reason for existence

We had what we had
Not because you love or care for me
Me as your prototype
She as your final marrying type

I try to keep my cool
I try to appear that everything is normal
I try to appear nonchalant about it
I try to think that it won’t be painful
When you finally say that what we had was awful

He said that he would go after her.
Guess what? He didn't go after her.
He said that he would find her.
Guess what? He didn't find her.

All he did was blabber
The girl didn't bother
The girl wanted him to do the opposite
Guess, he didn't do anything magnificent

He said that he would never talk ****
He said that he really liked her
Well, all he did was just write on the sheet
Guess, all he told her was just, yes... a blabber

A month has passed.
Didn't even know if he even crossed her path
No news, no message, no email, no call
Just nothing, if she would recall

March 2019

Your eyes gravitate me towards you
I hope I don't aggravate you
The color of your eyes makes me want to see more of you
You don't have to feel the same, but let me have one last look at you
Sandy, I'll be Mandy
At Bo's Coffee, we can drink coffee
Cappucinos, and lattes
At Bo's Coffee, we should stay.

I'm a zombie
This coffee is making me dizzy
Is it the coffee, or am I just being silly?
Is it the coffee that is causing my headache?
Is the the headache that is causing me to drink coffee?
Downed cold coffee
Took small amounts of brewed coffee all day
Taking sips of coffee in regular intervals
This headache is just throbbing
This headache is just debilitating
Woke up this morning feeling dizzy
Allergic rhinitis, the cold, the sinusitis
The phlegm is clear, thank you, post nasal drip
The nose discharge is clear... so I think, the allergy is causing the steer
Pressure in the eyes, mouth, teeth, jaw
The ache that surrounds my face
The pain that originates underneath
Probably, deeper than my outer layer
This is becoming impromptu now
Losing the rhyme, maybe, it's the time
Guess, I'll have trouble sleeping tonight
My friend coffee, will keep me company!

Blemishes start to fade away
Excretions are no longer strongly colored
My sadness transforms from hatred
My happiness transforms from sadness
My eyes are slowly smiling
My weight is slowly increasing
Over-the-counter vitamins are just what I’m taking
Water and coffee are just what I’m drinking
Three daily rice meals and snacks in between
Juice on the side and sweets for the win
My hair is growing faster than before
Confidence is back like never before
My extra work is improving
My expenses are slowly diminishing
I feel like my outlook has recovered a lot
I feel like my beauty could be seen on the spot
Why would I ask for more?
I always get what I aim for.

Crawling, lurking, hoping
Craving for the apple to be bitten
Certainty you will realize
The snake is what you really need
Yes, It will be tough
Mindfully, cross the rocks
Everything will be smooth
See me on the other side
A tap on your back, a shoulder to turn
There, you will see me, smiling, waiting
Sugarcane tastes great as it is
Leave it be, then, it will be a source of temporary happiness
Leave it longer, it will turn sour
Do not let me become the sour version of the sugarcane
Let me be the forever honey that will make your coffee sweet
Surely, you will miss the splenda
Nothing is more spectacular than Brenda
Don't get me wrong, I hope she doesn't come out strong
Don't get me wrong, Brenda is me and not the other girl around
Please, see her... here is a pair of glasses
maybe, you need 2 hand lenses
Saw you today, tomorrow, yesterday
In my mind, there you will be
Slowly melting away
I should give up
You have a plan to step up
I hope that you will get off the bus soon
fly to the moon, try the train, be with the other her soon
There goes the afternoon
It shines like never before
she fades away, she walks away
you are running away
please, stay
walk with me
hold my hand, let's walk, ride the tidal waves, maybe
I can make you happy, be with me for eternity
Be my serenity, I will be forever your destiny
Becoming more specific now
what I feel for you is fantastic
I know you won't be ecstatic
You don't even know that because of you, I'm being dramatic
I see the cinematic entrance
maybe, the start of this entrancement
Do you ever think of me?
Do you ever feel that you can be the cause of this entrapment
Just like the yellow City
You will be the road to my eternity
I'm withered now
you will surrender to a different scenario
I'm searching for you, my heart grows fonder each day
I want to see you, yet, want to hide the sun on my face
Just like the sunflowers
I want to turn my head towards you
only, you are shining for everyone, not just that single sunflower that is me
Blabbering nonsense.
12midnight
see the light in a bit
giving more chance to other things
maybe, I lost my chance already
will you ever be someone liking me
If I saw you, met you the first time before she did...
This is crazy... crazy for you... not because of you but because of the things that I want to do
maybe, this will help me become more likable for you
I need you..
I missed my chance, didn't I?
I want you...
You are so far away...
let me stay...
I want you to stay...
Just like the skin covering my body

Can't take you off my mind
Hope that the professional moment with you is something I can rewind
I guess, I need to just move on
Maybe, the age gap is so strong
You wouldn't even remember me just like how I remember you
We are made acquainted with each other, but immediately lost the meaningless meeting
Don't let life pass me by
How can try my luck in the blink of an eye
Every move I make means taking risks
Do I even have the chance to be taken at bliss?

You are not aware the day you caught my eye
You are not aware every time I cry
Do you still remember me?

Now, I feel guilty
Feeling so sorry
Why can't we be?

The first dance seemed to be our last
The song that was playing, still trapped in time
Will I ever have to see you in front of me...

How can I make the song last forever?
How can I make you stay to dance with me forever?

October 10 2017
9:52 AM

The constant smirk on her face
The laugh lines that go deeper and deeper each day
The shallowness and darkness of her eyes
The obscure, unidentifiable feeling that envelopes her being
Metabolism is slower now
Sleepless nights cannot be handled just as much
Energy diminishes
She feels that everyday, she tarnishes
Buckles are no longer shiny
Feet walk toward the goals but not to her existence
Wait, she does not feel lonely
She just feels constant fatigue

How many times have you said, "Goodbye",
Only to say "hi" the next day?
How many times have you said, "Hi",
Only to leave the next day?
back and forth
Up and down
To and from
side to side
vice versa
repeat, defeat, such a feat
I'm complete
Don't want to be such a defeat

Everyday is a dying day
How can you not give your best today?
You start to pray, hope and wish
Can you not just do it as you pleased?

Everyday is a dying day
How can you not start to live today?
You start to put, in the shelf, your life
How can you endure to miserably die?

Everyday is a dying day
How come your tasks are all astray?
When all you can do is start to pray
Will it make more sense if you start them today?

Everyday is a dying day
You plan, you write, you visualize and try
Yes! The best thing to do is give your best in every try.
Give your best in every try just before you die.

Holding hands
at the church, singing hymns and songs of devotion
Having dinner afterwards
Having coffee, conversing until midnight
walking to the door
you held her hand, kissed it, then the forehead
She said, "she'll move ahead"
One last look, then off you go
leaving on a jet plane, that's how far you will go
Everything here is nothing but a nonsense
Everything here is nothing short of great imagination
Vivid yet not graspable

May 16, 2018
10:30AM

Listening to "November Rain"
What a long intro it brings
Sweet Child O' Mine was on loop for a while
Then Axl said, "and when I look into your eyes... nothing lasts forever"
Yes, Lipovitan and Red Bull will keep me awake but not for long
24 grams of sugar, 74 milligrams of caffeine
Things written at the back of these so-called energy drinks
Wait! Woah! It sinks in fast, wears off fast
Welcome to the Jungle, the next song plays
Welcome to the Jungle, a description of what I do
I hope the end of the tunnel brings me to Paradise City
"It's So Easy" some might say of what I do
Sweet Child O' Mine started playing again
Guess, out of all the songs I played,
It's the one that clears my mind all the way!!!
Just to share with you, this is not the first version of this poem
Gone are the roses
Guns are the new roses
Guns N' Roses

11:45PM
May 10 2018

Same old
Everybody goes old
Experiences are gold
So, I'm told
Everyone goes old
Everyone becomes cold
How can I make my experiences gold
When it's difficult to be bold
Dying trying
Live living
Cold but barely dead
Barely breathing
So, they die instead

I remember when we were just starting
You would see me in numerous evenings
We would stay in front of our house talking
You would sometimes be guitar playing

Here me out!
**** peer pressure and social life!
Let me out!
No worries! I will shut up!
Missing our connection
I guess, you have nothing but a dying admiration
I sing in silence
You hear me out, say words with eloquence
Guess, I'm never good at saying "I miss you"
... I just said, "Don't talk to me, I hate you"
What a childish reply from me
I guess, your childish nature already died
Never will I hold on to the tail of your kite
Says the other Tori Amos song I used to sing every night
I told myself, I won't care about you
Wait, I just checked my phone at 11:52...
Listening to "Loneliest" tonight
Though, I've never really felt that way
I just feel that tonight, it suits my way
Was it just coincidence?
Why do I always make good music when I think of you?
My feet cramps from crossing my legs
One on top of the other
On top of my crossed legs is my laptop
I keep on writing poetry, I just cannot stop
Help me, please... do not really want to cultivate this plethora of thoughts
My intuition tells me that I should trust it
I will forget you
Though the CD you gave me makes me cry of joy
I know that deep inside, forever you will deny
Right timing?
**** social media, peer pressure and social life!
Goodbye! Surely, have dinner!
Get some dinner for breakfast
Eat lunch at dinner
Say goodbye, never say hi
This poetry is nothing by an expression of my authority
No need for sympathy
Borrowing some words from the song I am listening to right now
surveillance, ambulance
yes, we need an ambulance to resuscitate this dying matter

I'm never in any way affected
i just want to utilize you to make art
What can I do?
You help me throw up art
This poetry starts

“I don’t hold on to the tail of your kite”
says the other Tori Amos song she sang to you last night
Reminding you to not worry because she won’t hold on to you
...but why did she just check her clock at 12:52?

It started off pretty well
Now, I know all too well
How my feeling is unwell
It will not be as deep as a well

“I love you” is you always say
“I miss you” is all you ever mean to say
You never mean any of it
You just play for the fun of it

What part of me do you like?
I sometimes wonder?
Is it what I can give that she can’t?
Is it that you can play with me and I can’t?

I acquired more rings today
Guess I'll never have my farewell day
Was it  merely coincidence,
The Higher Being, why, oh, why?
You just saved me from something embarrassing.

Return to me
Even though you have not even been here
See me
Even though you have not yet known me
I see you, feel you, breathe you
Will you see, feel, breath me, too?
So busy with life
I neglect my social life
I will never say never to you
If you will be the one sent to me
I will never ask for more, just be with me, stay forever
Slow motion, that is your effect to me
Come back here, my love, wake me up from this illusion
Saw you at the church
imagining we were holding hands
having dinner afterwards
Ooh, Happy Easter!!!
I see your face everywhere
For you, I will be willing to be better than who I am today
Here me out (I know you won't)
See me (I know you won't)

Sea, submerge
I emerged
want to run towards the finish line
Can't even walk pass the starting line

October 17 2017
16:32

I need to rest
Rest is what I need to do the rest
I don't want to be reckless
I just want my output to be the best

I just need to be alone
Being alone is what I want for my skills to be honed
Being alone does not mean I'm lonely
Being alone is tattooed on my bones.

I just need to be quiet
I just want to speak with people I need to speak with
Right now, I do not want to speak with other people except those that I need to speak with
All I want is for those people to accept my decision to be quiet

I just need a break from everything
I just want to be with myself
I just want to linger in my silence and aloneness
I just want to listen to myself and no one else

October 19 2008
23:55

Verse 1:
You are not aware the day you caught my eyes
You are not aware every time I cry
Do you still remember me?

Verse 2:
Oh, yes, I know it was a long time ago
Yeah, I know
You're with someone else, Oh...

Refrain:
Now/But, I feel guilty
Feeling so sorry
Why can't we be?

Chorus:
The first dance seemed to be our last
The song that was playing still trapped in time
Will I ever gonna see you in front of me?

Bridge:
How to make that song last forever? (last forever)
and how can I get you back,
For us to dance forever?

Refrain 2:
But still feeling empty
For myself, "so sorry"
Why can't we be?

The sky is darkening
I am rushing
My heart is palpitating
Maybe, it will be raining
I'm getting near the main entrance
I suddenly pictured the notebook with all my dances
I remember everything I wrote on it entirely
Step 1, 2, 3, 4
There goes 5, 6, 7, and 8
I just ate words from the lesson plans I created
Shooting videos out of pleasant messiness
My feet want to move backwards
But my brain says, go, and move forward
Afraid to be late
I want to annihilate everything in the notebook
Put checks and tick marks
to the never ending bookshelves
Wait a second, I should reward myself a booklet
The mirror does not tell me I'm beautiful
The weighing scale tells me to gain more
The clothes I wear scream of looseness
Even eating becomes a chore, for as long as I can remember
Intensely focused on any of the tasks
Go on! Test my patience!
I do not remember its existence!
does not make me surrender
finishing the game makes me stronger
Give me some more, go on! Make me surrender.
As I am writing this, I picture me with you
You who has yet to come
Or You who I haven't noticed
These thoughts of me without You
These thoughts of undying load
They Burden my soul with the nearing truth of lonesomeness
Songs run in my head, ... something that goes, "... I'm wasting away"
"Rise up" makes me wake up
I'm numb of my "BUSY" buzzing like the bees
I cannot even remember my lonesomeness
Each step I make
I move forward, yet backward to the dreams of not having you
Every wave of my hands settle my mediocre acquaintances
How could I let myself be weary, and hurt, and suffering, and accused of many instances.

I tried to stay away from it since I arrived here
The headache, sleepiness, and weakness I tried to endure
I took vitamin C, and ibuprofen
But the throbbing pain in my head was making me insane
I downed instant coffee in the morning
The subtle pain spots in my head kept changing
In the hopes of making the pain diminish
Tons of water, I finished
I even blamed my swollen sinuses for everything
Thought of allergies as the culprit
"No way!", I said... "Enough!", I said.
I self talked controlling the urge to buy a cup
I know how accumulated cups can bring my wallet, a hiccup
I had to succumb... this cup of coffee is awesome.

December 18 2017
16:53

I watch all my could have been's get married with someone else
I watch all their smiles, laughter and cries
A part of me dies, gets lonely and cries
I watch all my could have been's thinking what could have been

December 18 2017
16:43

As the moment dies
She cries
She begins with sadness
Gets rotten with madness
She suffers in pain
She remembers how her childhood loves marry another
She cherishes the will to survive
She only remembers why he could not be the one for her
She only remembers why he should not be loved
She only remembers why all her loves should die
It pinches her heart
The happiness of the other woman is her demise
She asks herself, "How many of this event will I still be able to witness?"
She replies to herself, "Many more, my dear, so long as you keep on saying YES to goodbyes...
saying NO to potential YES to happiness
No worries, there will be more goodbyes
Why worry of the goodbyes, when most of them have not even said, "Hi".

Now, remember, demise, death, madness
Words of exaggeration that she must express
But just to let you know
She continues to survive, thrive and dwell in nothing but gladness
Ah, there will be another time for goodbyes
There will be another time for a "Hi"
Let's watch this begin, again.
Repeat.
Undo.
Repeat.
Let's do it all over, again.

Hahayaan na lang ba na balewalain ang aking pagsinta?
Hahayaan na lang ba na ako ay tuluyang madapa?
Paulit-ulit mo man akong saktan
Hindi ko pa kaya na ako ay lumisan

Kung ako ay sadyang hindi na mahal
Kung sadyang hindi mo kayang samahan
Sana ay sabihin mo sa akin ng harapan
Upang masaktan man ay mula sa iyo ang katotohanan

Kahit madalas ay ipakita mo ang tunay na nadarama
Kahit madalas ay nararamdaman kong ayaw mo na
Kahit madalas na alam kong napipilitan ka na
Pinipilit kong huwag bumitiw sa iyo, sinta

Hindi ako bibitiw hangga’t hindi mo sabihing tama na
Hindi ako titigil hangga’t hindi mo sabihing ayaw mo na
Kung nais mo ay huwag na ako makita
Sabihin mo lang sinta, ako ay aalis na

April 17 2018

There is nothing happy about death
Why is it that I never feel any sympathy for someone's death?
Everyone will go there
Everyone will falter
One after another
To death, we will all surrender
He could be nothing but good to his family
Well, I do not feel sorry, I'm even kinda happy
Don't let people see you sad
Don't let people see you mad
Reserve your anger to those you care about
Never let those insignificant people see your whereabouts
Now, I will pretend that I did not see or hear any news from this supposed sad event
I won't even say a single prayer, I will not be sad without my consent
No, I'll never be bothered by my conscience
I can sleep soundly, I'm happy
Now, you know, how much losing a father hurt...
I hope you realize and remember how hurt we were when it was our father who was lying in the coffin, and how my mother was hurt
I'll shut up now. I'll post something happy for everyone to see
especially your ill-mannered, abusive, opportunistic family
Yes. I know. People are like this.
They only see what they want or hear.
They only see themselves, especially, in despair
Well, life is unfair
I'm happy that you are all sad and unhappy
I hope that it'll last a lifetime
Go take advantage of some more people
Go be like a leech ******* the gold out of everyone
I hope nothing is left for you
I'm just plain happy that you are all blue.
I won't even say, "BLESS YOU."

October 10 2017
09:38 AM

Verbalize what you want to say
Internalize what you really feel
Analyze what it is that you want
Recognize the existence of what makes you human
Care less of what other people think
Live more by thinking of yourself and no one else
Guess, you are not born to be reckless
Always fearful of your demise
Forget FEAR, says the forget-me-nots
Be as FIERY as the fire tree
Be as big as the fruits of the cannonball tree
Be as sunny and happy as the sunflowers
Forget Shyness, says mimosa
Stop the urge to cry, "Stop it!"
The statement I say to Lacrimosa
Believe in yourself, Do not cause your death
Chrysanthemums and Cherry blossoms...
They are two different flowers
Same beauty, different in meaning
Tomorrow, let's bloom like a long-stem rose
Red as blood, thorns as dangerous as knives
Be as it may, let's be roses
Forget dismay

May 25 2018
08:45 AM

All the love songs collide
All my playlists unite
My heart explodes
My wall erodes

It makes me sweat but it gives me chills to the bones
It gives me numbness but with pain
It gives me hope but endless misery
I feel the beauty and serenity
It gives me relief and practicality
Another opportunity to use my brain logically

...and I will never write a poem
just because it rhymes with you
Not because of sadness
Not because of happiness
but just because I feel like writing about you

I will never decide on the title
just because my poem forms a riddle
Not because of the chorus
Not that my feelings for you is enormous
but just because I feel like it’s the right thing to do

I will never decide on just doing things
just because you make my heart sing
Not because of what the moment dictates
Not because I just want to retaliate
but just because I know that the ambivalent here is you

The weekend dies
She begins to cry
It started when she cut her hair
Ten months have passed
Her hair is now longer
Her weekend started to flourish
She is, now, nothing compared to how she was
She is the same person, just not malnourished
She learned to fly and live again
She knew that when the time comes
She, no longer, is held by the memory
She decided to let go of the things that slow her down
She decided to accept how things are not meant to be
She was down but she was taller than ever
Her hair is now longer
But she was reminded that the tides get high and low
Regardless of whether she is fast or slow
The sun does not give up on shining
Just because her tears are increasing
She realized that she is in control of her life
The weekend is out
But she will not be out.

January 15 2017
3:20 AM

I bet, you’ll listen to the songs I recommended to you
I bet, my recordings will be on your playlist, too
I bet, you’ll check all the unread emails that I sent you
I bet, you’ll regret deleting the photos I sent you

Let me tell you,
When I finally decided to leave and forget you
I bet, you’ll remember all the things I just told you that I bet you’ll do
For when I’m already gone, those are what you’ll surely do.

You have waited for this.
Do not waste your time thinking of your fears.
Do not fear the unknown.
You will not learn if you will not try.
Let others fear their own.
Do not fear what others fear.
Discover your own fears.
You will never know if you are truly afraid of something until you try.
Your youth warrants you to try, fail, try again.
You will not fail nor succeed until you try.
Do not believe what others tell you.
Let yourself tell you what to believe.
See for yourself what others fear to dive into.
See for yourself what you want yourself to dive into.
Be motivated to try.
Be motivated to fail.
Be motivated to make mistakes.
More mistakes, more tries, more chances of success.
Do not let the idea of others weaken your will to try.

JUST TRY. JUST FACE YOUR FEARS.

January 21 2018
2:47AM

She will demo
I will follow
Those two words rhyme together
Now, tell her, which one is better.
Is it to demo, or to follow?
She says, it is the latter.
She will never surrender.
These are the words she spoke of today
Tomorrow, she will have a nice day
Wait, tomorrow is happening now...
She could not sleep, she is wasting away
The cold, it is the cold that bothers her throughout the day
She cannot breathe, she cannot sleep
She downed tons of water, still, the cold bothers
What can she do?
She will wash her hands often
She will not make her defense against common colds soften
Her hands are very cold for the last few days
She thinks that is it because of the coffee she downs everyday
No. Maybe, because she is just plain tired and restless.

October 13 2008
08:48 AM

verse 1-verse 2-refrain-chorus-verse 3-verse 4-refrain-chorus-bridge-chorus

Verse 1
Don't go, don't go
You can just be happy
Stay with me
Don't care about her anymore

Verse 2
I know and you know
That she's just too selfish
Stay with me
I'll love you all the more

Verse 3
Stay near, stay close
You never have to wonder
Why you shouldn't
Give her a **** anymore

Verse 4
It's okay and it's fine
If you think she's worth it
If you fall
I'll catch you from behind

Refrain:
I see her, crying over you
If she comes to you/If she lies to you
Will you ever be through?... oohh

Chorus:
And you know that I like/love you
Even if your world is all her now
You don't know that I miss you
Every time I walk out through the door
What did you do to me?
What did you do to me?

Bridge:
Time is wasting
My love is wasted (love is wasted)
I've been busted
and you still love her
all the way... yeah!

Life is a race
Please do not be disgraced
You just have to embrace
that life is a race

When you stumble and fall
Do not be appalled
You just have to embrace
That life is a race

and when you feel down and lonely
When you feel like no one is your only
Be here with me
I’ll be your glory

and when you feel down and lonely
When you feel like no one is your only
Be here with me
Listen to my songs to feel glory

When you feel down and lonely
When you feel like no one is your only
I dig my memories
I listen to the songs of my bittersweet memories
There, I find my glory

Will I ever feel happy?
Will I ever be someone else’s glory?
My sadness is just making me insane
when being a little insane is just want I want to be
to be forever, someone else’s glory