July 5 2019
16:49

And my heart bleeds in silence
And my mind breathes in discontent
Who can blame me to be a lover of beauty
When who I need to support is my family
Who can blame me for wanting more
When all I want to do is do more
Who can blame me for wanting something faster
Is it not enough to be who I have been for others?

The weekend dies
She begins to cry
It started when she cut her hair
Ten months have passed
Her hair is now longer
Her weekend started to flourish
She is, now, nothing compared to how she was
She is the same person, just not malnourished
She learned to fly and live again
She knew that when the time comes
She, no longer, is held by the memory
She decided to let go of the things that slow her down
She decided to accept how things are not meant to be
She was down but she was taller than ever
Her hair is now longer
But she was reminded that the tides get high and low
Regardless of whether she is fast or slow
The sun does not give up on shining
Just because her tears are increasing
She realized that she is in control of her life
The weekend is out
But she will not be out.

January 15 2017
3:20 AM

Everyday is a dying day
How can you not give your best today?
You start to pray, hope and wish
Can you not just do it as you pleased?

Everyday is a dying day
How can you not start to live today?
You start to put, in the shelf, your life
How can you endure to miserably die?

Everyday is a dying day
How come your tasks are all astray?
When all you can do is start to pray
Will it make more sense if you start them today?

Everyday is a dying day
You plan, you write, you visualize and try
Yes! The best thing to do is give your best in every try.
Give your best in every try just before you die.

May 16, 2018
10:30AM

Listening to "November Rain"
What a long intro it brings
Sweet Child O' Mine was on loop for a while
Then Axl said, "and when I look into your eyes... nothing lasts forever"
Yes, Lipovitan and Red Bull will keep me awake but not for long
24 grams of sugar, 74 milligrams of caffeine
Things written at the back of these so-called energy drinks
Wait! Woah! It sinks in fast, wears off fast
Welcome to the Jungle, the next song plays
Welcome to the Jungle, a description of what I do
I hope the end of the tunnel brings me to Paradise City
"It's So Easy" some might say of what I do
Sweet Child O' Mine started playing again
Guess, out of all the songs I played,
It's the one that clears my mind all the way!!!
Just to share with you, this is not the first version of this poem
Gone are the roses
Guns are the new roses
Guns N' Roses

I dare not to play around but then you came around
Everything was fun then you made my heart turn around
What I thought was a simple reply to your “hi”
turned out to be the reason why I’m high

I didn’t want to try to write you a poem
I’m afraid that my rhyme would turn into a grime
As I’m writing this, you’re with her
As I’m writing this, all I can picture is you with her

It’s disturbing, I know
It’s disturbing, I don’t want to let you go
I know that I’m just nothing to you
I know that you just want me for my hue

Who am I to make you stay?
Who am I to demand you of your time?
I will soldier on to my dismay
I would carry on, with this rhyme, I will stay

Your arms wrapped around her
as you two are submerged in extreme laughter
the brightness in her eyes
the totality of my demise

It all started with a simple “hi”
It all started my kind of high

May 25 2018
08:45 AM

All the love songs collide
All my playlists unite
My heart explodes
My wall erodes

December 18 2017
16:43

As the moment dies
She cries
She begins with sadness
Gets rotten with madness
She suffers in pain
She remembers how her childhood loves marry another
She cherishes the will to survive
She only remembers why he could not be the one for her
She only remembers why he should not be loved
She only remembers why all her loves should die
It pinches her heart
The happiness of the other woman is her demise
She asks herself, "How many of this event will I still be able to witness?"
She replies to herself, "Many more, my dear, so long as you keep on saying YES to goodbyes...
saying NO to potential YES to happiness
No worries, there will be more goodbyes
Why worry of the goodbyes, when most of them have not even said, "Hi".

Now, remember, demise, death, madness
Words of exaggeration that she must express
But just to let you know
She continues to survive, thrive and dwell in nothing but gladness
Ah, there will be another time for goodbyes
There will be another time for a "Hi"
Let's watch this begin, again.
Repeat.
Undo.
Repeat.
Let's do it all over, again.

May 23 2019
08:05

Maybe, you're one of my past coworkers
Maybe, you're one of the guys I dumped/turned down before
Maybe, you just want to find someone to mess up or something
Maybe, you're V
Just hard to believe that you stumbled on that page...
Came across my profile, and out of the many, you chose me...
Wow!
I need to stop. I need to stop. I need to stop.
I won't care anymore. You're just like E, G, A, M, C, M
You don't take me seriously, and you don't see the possibility
...having something special with me.
Goodbye!

October 25 2017
20:40

Little by little
I can now accept
I should not win a hurdle
I should just take a step

Little by little
I can now accept
The mistakes I make
They should not be baked

Little by little
I can now accept
I cannot change the things I already made
But I can make the present better for my sake

Little by little
I can now accept
I can change the course of my life for the best
I just have to look back and learn from my past

Little by little
I can now accept
1 + 0 has 1 as the sum
I am unique, oh, how perfectly imperfect I am!

Little by little
I can now accept
How better I am today
There is no way that I could be worse than yesterday

November 12 2017
19:55

I saw you at the bank
We were one seat apart
For one second our eyes met
What my eyes tried to communicate is blank

I want to say, "Hi"
I see you in my peripheral vision
You were glancing at me, once, twice, thrice
Was it just an illusion?
Was it because of this admiration?

The more I look at you
The more I see your handsomeness
The angst, the earrings, the tattoos, the overall attitude...
They melt me ~ I am without a word

I picture us together
You holding my hand to forever
I see this affection staying forever
Do you even think of me, ever?

I'll be off for 3 weeks
Not seeing you will not make my admiration weak
I look forward to seeing you right at your gate
There you are sitting...
A cup of coffee on one hand, a cigarette on the other

Been listening to “Northern Lad”
You were someone that I really never had
Been up most of the night
Thinking how I could be alright

Been trying my best to maintain a straight face
That everything will just fall into place
Been trying my best to recover from the strain
Pretending not to wait for you in vain

and so another morning came
and absence is what you’ve become
When a simple message is what I yearn for
You left me just like the other boys from before

If you could only see how my eyes turn glassy
If you could only feel how my heart wants to turn icy
I wish I could go back to where I was before
When your existence is nothing but an unnoticeable spore

I could not feel your love when you looked at me
I could not feel in your touch that you missed me
All I could feel was your curiosity
Just like how my curiosity, at that time, killed my reality

“I don’t hold on to the tail of your kite”
says the other Tori song I sang to you last night
Reminding you to not worry because I won’t hold on to you
...but why did I just check my clock at 12:52?

November 22 2017
19:09

Always out of nowhere
I'll receive a message from you somewhere
online or offline
It doesn't matter
You always appear out of nowhere
What was your drama last night?
Maybe you just want to get through the night
Maybe you just want to use me so you could have a fight
That maybe through me, you will find, again, the light
In this fight, I always give in and give up
But my heart for you has long been stopped
What can I do but to shut you up
Out of sight, out of mind
I will never make you see the light
I am here to hear your thoughts and play your game
But there is no way that you will ever win your game, again
I am tired of being used and abused for my kindness
I'd rather be made of stone, and be loveless
I don't want to be with your company that is hopeless
I want to talk to you, I want to be your friend
I don't know what you want from me, but I don't wanna fail with you, in the end
The light is dark, I will fight with light
The light is dark, but I will survive the fight
There you are again, you read my message at 09:02 AM
You were gonna wait for my call
Well, guess what, you did not heed my call
I don't wanna play your game, again
I don't wanna be insane, again
Out of sight, out of mind
says the other Incubus song tonight
Promises, Promises
I'll let myself be the boss of everyone but myself
I will not call, I will not message
Oh, please, message me first so I could have the last laughter
It will be fun to converse with you
See through you, know your concerns and challenges
Guess what, I won't be a part of the cake you will slice
Every time you show up
It feels like a dream, not a good dream I want to have though
It's a dream I don't want to have
Every time your name pops up
I feel like it's a different time
I look everywhere, look at my watch and people everywhere
I cannot believe what an abusive person you are

I remember when we were just starting
You would see me in numerous evenings
We would stay in front of our house talking
You would sometimes be guitar playing

Here me out!
**** peer pressure and social life!
Let me out!
No worries! I will shut up!
Missing our connection
I guess, you have nothing but a dying admiration
I sing in silence
You hear me out, say words with eloquence
Guess, I'm never good at saying "I miss you"
... I just said, "Don't talk to me, I hate you"
What a childish reply from me
I guess, your childish nature already died
Never will I hold on to the tail of your kite
Says the other Tori Amos song I used to sing every night
I told myself, I won't care about you
Wait, I just checked my phone at 11:52...
Listening to "Loneliest" tonight
Though, I've never really felt that way
I just feel that tonight, it suits my way
Was it just coincidence?
Why do I always make good music when I think of you?
My feet cramps from crossing my legs
One on top of the other
On top of my crossed legs is my laptop
I keep on writing poetry, I just cannot stop
Help me, please... do not really want to cultivate this plethora of thoughts
My intuition tells me that I should trust it
I will forget you
Though the CD you gave me makes me cry of joy
I know that deep inside, forever you will deny
Right timing?
**** social media, peer pressure and social life!
Goodbye! Surely, have dinner!
Get some dinner for breakfast
Eat lunch at dinner
Say goodbye, never say hi
This poetry is nothing by an expression of my authority
No need for sympathy
Borrowing some words from the song I am listening to right now
surveillance, ambulance
yes, we need an ambulance to resuscitate this dying matter

I'm never in any way affected
i just want to utilize you to make art
What can I do?
You help me throw up art
This poetry starts

Did you ever remember the look that you gave me?
Oh, yes, I do! I remember you, oh, so, clearly!
When you looked at me, face to face.
I couldn't help but smile just a little...
I hope to see you everyday
I hope to know your name
I hope to be right beside you
walking hand in hand
Introduce me to everyone around you

October 20 2017
22:50

It never went
You just didn't stay
It's not my habit to hold on to anyone's kite
Especially when you don't hold on with all your might
I choose to show what I want to be
I choose to hide the feelings as it should be
Now, do not message me and make me reply
Just so that you will have the last goodbye
Talk to me when you are sober
I will accept if you will message me after forever
It is up to you to go or stay
Just so that you will have the last goodbye
You do not make any sense
I do not have time to process
I do not mind being left behind
I just stay for those who do not leave me behind
This is for everyone who has ever left me behind
Songs are meant to show or hide
Songs are meant to either say "hi" or "goodbye"
Songs I listen to may not mean anything
Do not go saying that it is what I want you to be doing
I do not speak in verbatim
I hide my words in poems
Think what you want
Say what you want
I will hide my words just the same
Interpret this however you like
It will still be a pantomime.

I'm a zombie
This coffee is making me dizzy
Is it the coffee, or am I just being silly?
Is it the coffee that is causing my headache?
Is the the headache that is causing me to drink coffee?
Downed cold coffee
Took small amounts of brewed coffee all day
Taking sips of coffee in regular intervals
This headache is just throbbing
This headache is just debilitating
Woke up this morning feeling dizzy
Allergic rhinitis, the cold, the sinusitis
The phlegm is clear, thank you, post nasal drip
The nose discharge is clear... so I think, the allergy is causing the steer
Pressure in the eyes, mouth, teeth, jaw
The ache that surrounds my face
The pain that originates underneath
Probably, deeper than my outer layer
This is becoming impromptu now
Losing the rhyme, maybe, it's the time
Guess, I'll have trouble sleeping tonight
My friend coffee, will keep me company!

May 16 2018
10:53 PM

Tonight, I listened to a song for the first time
Funny how I can guess what the next lyrics are
Maybe, in the so-called dictionary
The word, "Needs" is the only one that rhymes with the first line

Tonight, I listened to a music album
Have not listened to the artist for quite some time
Oh! How their new songs carry the melody/tune of their old songs
Guess, because they came from the same artist

Cannot publish the same poem thrice
The site is under maintenance
Is this what I get for writing poems so much
Should the site expect my repentance?

Listening now to Frusciante
I can hear the subtle phone ring in the recording
Or was it just the guitar strings ringing
Guess, it teaches me how to pay more attention

The chorus is now on repeat
The voice becomes deep, it fades and the guitar parts rise
The lead parts is where I find my peace
Don't know where to listen

Do I listen to the voice, instruments, or the whole song
If I do the latter, then I will miss the others

July 5 2019
16:38

And I ran out of time
Doing nothing, being nothing
Across the road is where my life prospers
But here I am on the other side, and, oh, how I wander
My mind craves freedom
The reason behind my sadness are the shackles
Shackles created by my own mind
The vulnerability of the situation
The mediocrity of anticipation
Knowing what lies ahead
Making me feel dizzy, afraid, fearful, frightened
The things I experience these days...
...are, but the by-product of my poor decision-making
The mediocrity of fighting
The complexity of dying
For when I retire to bed each night
All I wonder is where I am tonight
For when the next day comes
I'll still be here, stuck, and dying in the pale moonlight

Every heartbreak has its own playlist
The songs remind me of how something, or someone gets removed from my list
In my mind, I make a list
A list of all the songs that could make a playlist

I am that masochistic to play the songs over and over
Until it hurts no more, and hurts, again some more
The chorus of every song reverbirates
Echoing the hushed silence of my loneliness

At this point, all types of songs seem the same
They all talk about sadness, hopelessness, and heartbreaks
There is something so peaceful in this verge of this martyrdom
There is something so painful yet freeing in this fleeting moment

For when I finally feel better
I feel how I've gone and traveled farther
The heartbreak only makes me stronger
It makes me see clearer, move faster, appreciate the meaning of life better

I listen to the same playlist
I think of how foolish I was to even break into tears to any of the songs
For at this point, all songs fall on the same level
They remind me of how sad I felt, how hard I fell, how I was vulnerable

and I listen to the same playlist, again
For I want to make art out of all the previously mentioned pains of others
At this point, the songs remind me of how I am no different from the others
At this point, the songs remind me how my emotions are universal

I also know that in one way, or another, my playlist is different from another
I also know how unique my experiences are
I know that some things are irreversible
Yet, again... I am ready to be vulnerable

March 2019

Your eyes gravitate me towards you
I hope I don't aggravate you
The color of your eyes makes me want to see more of you
You don't have to feel the same, but let me have one last look at you
Sandy, I'll be Mandy
At Bo's Coffee, we can drink coffee
Cappucinos, and lattes
At Bo's Coffee, we should stay.

11:45PM
May 10 2018

Same old
Everybody goes old
Experiences are gold
So, I'm told
Everyone goes old
Everyone becomes cold
How can I make my experiences gold
When it's difficult to be bold
Dying trying
Live living
Cold but barely dead
Barely breathing
So, they die instead

October 10 2017
09:38 AM

Verbalize what you want to say
Internalize what you really feel
Analyze what it is that you want
Recognize the existence of what makes you human
Care less of what other people think
Live more by thinking of yourself and no one else
Guess, you are not born to be reckless
Always fearful of your demise
Forget FEAR, says the forget-me-nots
Be as FIERY as the fire tree
Be as big as the fruits of the cannonball tree
Be as sunny and happy as the sunflowers
Forget Shyness, says mimosa
Stop the urge to cry, "Stop it!"
The statement I say to Lacrimosa
Believe in yourself, Do not cause your death
Chrysanthemums and Cherry blossoms...
They are two different flowers
Same beauty, different in meaning
Tomorrow, let's bloom like a long-stem rose
Red as blood, thorns as dangerous as knives
Be as it may, let's be roses
Forget dismay

We've grown closer and farther
We've grown nothing closer than how we started
I like it that you are becoming farther and farther
Don't get me wrong, I still think of why you are moving on
I don't care about you, so go away, be away like you always do
The songs we sing together
The playlist you put together
The concert we watched together
It will be remembered, except, you...
Oh, no! I'm sorry, mister.

Summer came, again
Look at how we have become, again
I have gained such wonderful grains
Nothing to lose, only to gain

Will you not wither until the next summer?
Will you stay, even when you are sober?
Will you be with me, just because the other one is away?
Will you stay, even after you, two are, again, sober?
Do not stay if you intend to leave
Please, betray me, because that is what I expect from your leaf
If this is what you plan to do to get even with me
I am immune to it, go ahead, just wither and die
This is not sadness
This is not an unhappy ending
What I feel now is gladness
So tired of summer leaving

Another incomplete milestone
Another way to complete the pile
Another day for me to survive
Another weekend dies...

October 25 2017
23:32

I am excited for what is to come
I cannot wait for the weaknesses I will overcome
I am looking forward to challenges
I am ever so grateful of the strengths that will root from my weaknesses

I cannot wait to travel alone
I cannot wait to move far away from home
I listen to the old songs I like
I look forward to how travelling and leaving alone feels like

Away from everything that is going to harm me
Away from everyone that has an effect on me
Away from the chaos, noise and wildness
The organized wilderness I reminisced

I picture myself playing the guitar
I look forward to flowers and butterflies I will encounter
In the garden, I will have tons of photos taken
I love this feeling and I'm never mistaken.

I love the risks, the challenges my soon-to-be experiences will give
I bet, I'll have tons of things to ponder
I love how things will try to shake me
I love how I will resist each shake and stand up loud and proud

I love it that I look forward to Friday just to watch a movie
I look forward to watching Underworld: The Blood Wars
The next line is not gonna rhyme with "wars"
I do not care, let's start a war, then.

I think of the future
I think of how positive and negative I can be
I cherish the optimism I find in my pessimism
I'm forever mesmerized by whatever is yet to come.

I was torn between seeing and not seeing you today
I was confused of whether or not I’ll be able to brighten up your day

I always have this doubt
I still choose not to scout

Well, you can’t blame me…
My gut tells me that you’re not even true to me.

Someone told me
The past will always be a part of him
He will never forget his past
He will just learn to accept it
He will never forget his past
No matter how many times he changes the color of his walls
No matter how many times he falls
He will just learn how to make his memory obscure
Even if he changes the arrangement of the furniture
I agree with him
The past will never be forgotten
Unless you have amnesia, Alzheimer's or something
Never ask the present if he already forgot his past
Never expect that even a memory will be forgotten
When the present leaves you
The present becomes your past
Do not hold on to the past
Unless, you are ready to not make a future out of your present
If, by any chance, you cannot admit your past
You do not have a choice but to let go and move on
The sun does not stop shining just because your eyes are crying
The river does not stop flowing just because your life is challenging
Learn to ride a boat
Learn to steer it to wherever you want to go
Your past will not make the oars move for you
NO ONE is responsible but YOU.

October 17 2017
16:16

Okay, it's funny that I listen to songs
and I don't know where each of the songs belong
Been listening to the same album since last night
The message of every song is not plain in sight
Came to like some songs in the album
The melody talks to me with delight
I like how the singer sometimes talks in verbatim
The lyrics are different, but the melody speaks with delight
I got inspired to listen to this album
It could be the CD that I did not buy in the aquarium
I just used "aquarium" because it rhymes with "album"
Here are my favorites - "Happy Ending", "Don't Tell Me", "He Wasn't"
But I fell in love with the song, "How Does It Feel?"...
I knock on your door, but "Nobody's Home"

October 11, 2017
10 AM

Take me to the sea
The calmness, sometimes tumultuous waters, I want to see
Envelope me with its waves
Jump with me, let's welcome the waves
Blue is the color or sadness
Green is the nature of freshness
Emerald green is the color of material things
Light blue, different shades of beings
These are the colors I want to see
The colors that the sky reflects abundantly
The tides go high and low
The waves move fast and slow
I want to swim against the tide
I sometimes want to walk, even stride
Wait, I do not know how to swim
But I want to give in to this very wim
Just look at the birds
Flying above the sand
Crossing seas, rivers, and oceans
Kiss my skin with the warmness of the sun
Embrace me with sea salt and give me a tan
The color of life, activity and fun
Squeeze some lemon on my hair
Rub it, have the sun penetrate every hair strand
It will give life to jet black fiber
Just enough to give me a sunshower
Let's raft together and cross the other side
Under the bridge, across the big wide sky
Oh, please...
Take me to the sea
Let's watch the sunrise, sunset
It will cause this fatigue, its demise.

January 21 2018
2:47AM

She will demo
I will follow
Those two words rhyme together
Now, tell her, which one is better.
Is it to demo, or to follow?
She says, it is the latter.
She will never surrender.
These are the words she spoke of today
Tomorrow, she will have a nice day
Wait, tomorrow is happening now...
She could not sleep, she is wasting away
The cold, it is the cold that bothers her throughout the day
She cannot breathe, she cannot sleep
She downed tons of water, still, the cold bothers
What can she do?
She will wash her hands often
She will not make her defense against common colds soften
Her hands are very cold for the last few days
She thinks that is it because of the coffee she downs everyday
No. Maybe, because she is just plain tired and restless.

November 04 2017
21:04

I'm hesitant of the things I'll do in my destination
There is something joyful in this transportation
I do not want this bus ride to end...
and, yet, I feel like this trip will help me transcend.
I'm excited to get off this bus
I'm eager to finish all my deliverable down to the last.
I look forward to seeing my destination
Yet I crave to come back home using this same means of transportation.

It makes me sweat but it gives me chills to the bones
It gives me numbness but with pain
It gives me hope but endless misery
I feel the beauty and serenity
It gives me relief and practicality
Another opportunity to use my brain logically

Ants they fall
It makes you want to cry
They stumble by the step
Hooray! It's nothing but an embrace
only to find themselves recuperating, again
Finding the route, the smell, the line, their goal
ah! A biscuit ~ don't you dare fall

Your presence has been missed since your absence
Nevertheless, your absence caused me to be ever more at present
Thank you for preparing me for your absence
Your absence has never been that hard in the nonemotional aspect

Sea, submerge
I emerged
want to run towards the finish line
Can't even walk pass the starting line

Soon it will fade away
Like a flower that blooms in September
It will wither just before the end of October
To the mood of the wind, it will sway

September 29 2017
17:30

Should I turn my back?
Should I leap?
Should I walk?
Should I be taken aback?

Should I say, YES to this awesome friendship?
Should I say, YES to this sweet fate?
Should I choose to be happy or sad?
Should I choose whatever is in my hand that lands?

I like the directness, swiftness, and smoothness of your words
The sweetness of your jokes, the cuteness of your face when you talk
Your approach to life is something I really like
Should I choose whatever is in my hand that lands tonight?

Should I leave everything to fate?
Where will you be, from now, after the earth has revolved around the sun twice?
Should I give you an embrace, freedom, or escape?
Where will you be, from now, after the earth has revolved around the sun twice?

Holding hands
at the church, singing hymns and songs of devotion
Having dinner afterwards
Having coffee, conversing until midnight
walking to the door
you held her hand, kissed it, then the forehead
She said, "she'll move ahead"
One last look, then off you go
leaving on a jet plane, that's how far you will go
Everything here is nothing but a nonsense
Everything here is nothing short of great imagination
Vivid yet not graspable

July 7 2019
18:12

I have been watching, "Lucifer"
All I can think of, is your accent
Now, watch the series
See what I'm after
You are not like Tom Ellis
But all I can think of, is you, at least
I want to hear your speak
So, your YouTube channel, will be my sneak peek

October 10 2017
9:52 AM

The constant smirk on her face
The laugh lines that go deeper and deeper each day
The shallowness and darkness of her eyes
The obscure, unidentifiable feeling that envelopes her being
Metabolism is slower now
Sleepless nights cannot be handled just as much
Energy diminishes
She feels that everyday, she tarnishes
Buckles are no longer shiny
Feet walk toward the goals but not to her existence
Wait, she does not feel lonely
She just feels constant fatigue

How many times have you said, "Goodbye",
Only to say "hi" the next day?
How many times have you said, "Hi",
Only to leave the next day?
back and forth
Up and down
To and from
side to side
vice versa
repeat, defeat, such a feat
I'm complete
Don't want to be such a defeat

Short poems run in my head
Couldn't let myself occupy my bed
My love for you spreads like wild fire
You are someone I truly admire
I will forget a pen, just so I can borrow from you
I will forget my power, just so I can depend on you
I wonder how I can be liked by you
There is something about you that makes me feel blue
You are the epitome of my impalpable dream
I want you to be interested in me
Think of me, as someone who is not what she seems
Dim the lights, face my light
Do you ever feel surreal with me
ah, you are just too focused on your nymph.

December 18 2017
16:53

I watch all my could have been's get married with someone else
I watch all their smiles, laughter and cries
A part of me dies, gets lonely and cries
I watch all my could have been's thinking what could have been

I am happy when I am sad
I am sad when I am happy
Why do I feel such a loser
When all I want to do is recover?
Here she comes, the butterflies disappear
Please, oh, please, do not reappear
The pain lingers, it never hurts like it did yesterday
Day by day, I find a way to recover
No, this is not about love
This is about life in general
My fear is primal
I want to keep it minimal
This is me writing about a song
A three-minute memory
A lifetime of misery
Have you ever played a gong?
Do not be confused.
There is no use.
This is not about you.
This is about ****-mer-me
Uh oh! ****-mer rhymes with reminder
Names of the people I don't want to remember
Now, do you see the matter?
Nah, it does not matter.
****-mer is not even a word in the dictionary
Do not worry, this is not about you.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I just want to use your name
How beautifully it rhymes with a lot of other names
Do not go down the abbey
It's not "fay"...
Do not play with me
There is no way that you mispronounced "pay"
I am not making any sense, am I?
It does not matter
I am making sense of myself, that is why.
Xy runs with rah, rah, rah
So is ElectRIKA
Maybe this is what I get
From watching a lot of Daredevil and Elektra
Stop this nonsense
Times like this, I am talking nonsense.
Friday, the day when you get your pay
Payday is also the day when you pay
I just love Fridays!
No, I do not want your hearts, and likes
Those will not bring me delight
Get me a flight
That is what I like.

She continues to take a leave
She wants to live... be alive
She lives for me, him, her
She wants to stay as a mother
She forgets her medicines
She thrives to survive
Sometimes, I wonder, how or earth did she survive!
Her life is nothing short of misery, disaster, and mistakes
Yet, she chose to rise, make the disaster, her enemy to survive!
What a fantastic human being
Why does she keep on spinning?
I hope she will last more than I do
She is a perfect, a masterpiece
She'll be the centerpiece in every table that I will eat
She will be my reason for being
The reason why I am so excited for what the morning will bring
Her smile lights up my life
Her kisses bring me so much joy and happiness
Her, sometimes, foul mouth brings me great pleasure
For I know how she cares about me, more than all the others
She is my mother
She is a disaster
She could be a stranger
No one loves me like her
There is nothing in the world that I love more than her
She bore me into this world
Like a sunflower, she will rise from all the others
There is nothing more perfect than my mother
There is nothing in the world that I love more than my mother

I just cannot stop
The accumulation has to stop
The beauty of the sounds
The security it provides
Cannot be achieved by the digital copies I am bound
Is it just me, or the CD just provides better quality
This is yet to be done
I do not mind publishing this even if it is not yet over
Accumulate-Rip-Trasfer-Save
The action is on repeat
The process is monotonous
Ha! As long as the action repeats sound accuracy
What do I know about sounds?
What do I know about music?
I could not even recognize the bass lines or chords of most songs
Ha! I just know that sounds are better when the CD plays
It is the sense of security it provides
Better than online music streaming
My ears are beaming of confidence and certainty.
Again, this is yet to be completed
I will publish it anyway...
to be continued... the song is on repeat
The artist is the same, the emotion is the same
The beauty of the sounds is on repeat.
Stop.
Play.
Fast Forward.
Rewind.
Stop.
Repeat.
Play.
... and I will repeat, one more time. go.
The lines are poorly written
The rhymes lack decency and coherence
I don't mind.
I will publish this.
Let's finish this sometimes.

Crawling, lurking, hoping
Craving for the apple to be bitten
Certainty you will realize
The snake is what you really need
Yes, It will be tough
Mindfully, cross the rocks
Everything will be smooth
See me on the other side
A tap on your back, a shoulder to turn
There, you will see me, smiling, waiting
Sugarcane tastes great as it is
Leave it be, then, it will be a source of temporary happiness
Leave it longer, it will turn sour
Do not let me become the sour version of the sugarcane
Let me be the forever honey that will make your coffee sweet
Surely, you will miss the splenda
Nothing is more spectacular than Brenda
Don't get me wrong, I hope she doesn't come out strong
Don't get me wrong, Brenda is me and not the other girl around
Please, see her... here is a pair of glasses
maybe, you need 2 hand lenses
Saw you today, tomorrow, yesterday
In my mind, there you will be
Slowly melting away
I should give up
You have a plan to step up
I hope that you will get off the bus soon
fly to the moon, try the train, be with the other her soon
There goes the afternoon
It shines like never before
she fades away, she walks away
you are running away
please, stay
walk with me
hold my hand, let's walk, ride the tidal waves, maybe
I can make you happy, be with me for eternity
Be my serenity, I will be forever your destiny
Becoming more specific now
what I feel for you is fantastic
I know you won't be ecstatic
You don't even know that because of you, I'm being dramatic
I see the cinematic entrance
maybe, the start of this entrancement
Do you ever think of me?
Do you ever feel that you can be the cause of this entrapment
Just like the yellow City
You will be the road to my eternity
I'm withered now
you will surrender to a different scenario
I'm searching for you, my heart grows fonder each day
I want to see you, yet, want to hide the sun on my face
Just like the sunflowers
I want to turn my head towards you
only, you are shining for everyone, not just that single sunflower that is me
Blabbering nonsense.
12midnight
see the light in a bit
giving more chance to other things
maybe, I lost my chance already
will you ever be someone liking me
If I saw you, met you the first time before she did...
This is crazy... crazy for you... not because of you but because of the things that I want to do
maybe, this will help me become more likable for you
I need you..
I missed my chance, didn't I?
I want you...
You are so far away...
let me stay...
I want you to stay...
Just like the skin covering my body

The sky is darkening
I am rushing
My heart is palpitating
Maybe, it will be raining
I'm getting near the main entrance
I suddenly pictured the notebook with all my dances
I remember everything I wrote on it entirely
Step 1, 2, 3, 4
There goes 5, 6, 7, and 8
I just ate words from the lesson plans I created
Shooting videos out of pleasant messiness
My feet want to move backwards
But my brain says, go, and move forward
Afraid to be late
I want to annihilate everything in the notebook
Put checks and tick marks
to the never ending bookshelves
Wait a second, I should reward myself a booklet
The mirror does not tell me I'm beautiful
The weighing scale tells me to gain more
The clothes I wear scream of looseness
Even eating becomes a chore, for as long as I can remember
Intensely focused on any of the tasks
Go on! Test my patience!
I do not remember its existence!
does not make me surrender
finishing the game makes me stronger
Give me some more, go on! Make me surrender.
As I am writing this, I picture me with you
You who has yet to come
Or You who I haven't noticed
These thoughts of me without You
These thoughts of undying load
They Burden my soul with the nearing truth of lonesomeness
Songs run in my head, ... something that goes, "... I'm wasting away"
"Rise up" makes me wake up
I'm numb of my "BUSY" buzzing like the bees
I cannot even remember my lonesomeness
Each step I make
I move forward, yet backward to the dreams of not having you
Every wave of my hands settle my mediocre acquaintances
How could I let myself be weary, and hurt, and suffering, and accused of many instances.

November 11 2018
17:50

The name rhymes with Jo
I think, she needs to turn on the radio
Find something interesting in his bio
Maybe, even get inspirations from his photo

The name rhymes with Zack Dela Rocha
His last name rhymes with my cafe mocha
Can't say much but he likes music
Oh, did I not mention...
He likes listening to Asking Alexandria

I'm a planner, he's an improviser
I say, "Hey, Monday!", he says, "Bye, Monday!"
I sleep, he watches...
I watched, "The Outlaw King",
He read its previews and synopses
Opposites, ironies
Oh, please! **** these inspirations!

Some days, poems come easy
A lot of times, they get unfinished, left out in the open