September 29 2017
17:30

Should I turn my back?
Should I leap?
Should I walk?
Should I be taken aback?

Should I say, YES to this awesome friendship?
Should I say, YES to this sweet fate?
Should I choose to be happy or sad?
Should I choose whatever is in my hand that lands?

I like the directness, swiftness, and smoothness of your words
The sweetness of your jokes, the cuteness of your face when you talk
Your approach to life is something I really like
Should I choose whatever is in my hand that lands tonight?

Should I leave everything to fate?
Where will you be, from now, after the earth has revolved around the sun twice?
Should I give you an embrace, freedom, or escape?
Where will you be, from now, after the earth has revolved around the sun twice?

I acquired more rings today
Guess I'll never have my farewell day
Was it  merely coincidence,
The Higher Being, why, oh, why?
You just saved me from something embarrassing.

October 19 2008
23:55

Verse 1:
You are not aware the day you caught my eyes
You are not aware every time I cry
Do you still remember me?

Verse 2:
Oh, yes, I know it was a long time ago
Yeah, I know
You're with someone else, Oh...

Refrain:
Now/But, I feel guilty
Feeling so sorry
Why can't we be?

Chorus:
The first dance seemed to be our last
The song that was playing still trapped in time
Will I ever gonna see you in front of me?

Bridge:
How to make that song last forever? (last forever)
and how can I get you back,
For us to dance forever?

Refrain 2:
But still feeling empty
For myself, "so sorry"
Why can't we be?

Anxiety lurks in
Should I give up and give in
Chaos is the state my brain is in
Should I give up and give in

Listening to songs makes me all the more worried
Binaural and isochronic tones do not work anymore
Music across all genre does not give me salvation
It just builds up the tension

Could not think straight
So many things that I have to think about
So many things that I have to accomplish
I sometimes wish that some things could be abolished.

I am happy when I am sad
I am sad when I am happy
Why do I feel such a loser
When all I want to do is recover?
Here she comes, the butterflies disappear
Please, oh, please, do not reappear
The pain lingers, it never hurts like it did yesterday
Day by day, I find a way to recover
No, this is not about love
This is about life in general
My fear is primal
I want to keep it minimal
This is me writing about a song
A three-minute memory
A lifetime of misery
Have you ever played a gong?
Do not be confused.
There is no use.
This is not about you.
This is about ****-mer-me
Uh oh! ****-mer rhymes with reminder
Names of the people I don't want to remember
Now, do you see the matter?
Nah, it does not matter.
****-mer is not even a word in the dictionary
Do not worry, this is not about you.
How many times do I have to tell you?
I just want to use your name
How beautifully it rhymes with a lot of other names
Do not go down the abbey
It's not "fay"...
Do not play with me
There is no way that you mispronounced "pay"
I am not making any sense, am I?
It does not matter
I am making sense of myself, that is why.
Xy runs with rah, rah, rah
So is ElectRIKA
Maybe this is what I get
From watching a lot of Daredevil and Elektra
Stop this nonsense
Times like this, I am talking nonsense.
Friday, the day when you get your pay
Payday is also the day when you pay
I just love Fridays!
No, I do not want your hearts, and likes
Those will not bring me delight
Get me a flight
That is what I like.

May 14 2018
22:20

The fleeting silence
I treasure her presence
When I look at her
I just want nothing but her health to be stable
Please, wait for me until I am able
Let your memory last until I can give you more than apples
I hope she will have the strength of 10,000 horses
The memory of 1,000 prodigies
I hope you find peace even in your most painful sickness
I hope your heart endures the everyday rain
May you find happiness in what I can provide
Sorry, if I sometimes make you feel insufficient
Your smile makes me go on one more day
You are my strength, just one more time, I'll say
From now on, I will make tons of memories with you
Take your picture, everyday, and forever
I will never get tired of the food you will serve
I will never get tired of your kindness and presence
Thank you for everything, my dear, wonder woman
Please, keep your heart beating
I hope that you will never lose the memory that you have
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Thank you for giving me life, love, kindness, and tolerance.
I know I still can give you more
Please, wait for me until I am able
All I want is for us to be stable
I want nothing for you but the best apples
Next time, I will give you more than apples
Oranges, lemons, grapes, and vines.
Wait, for me, please, I want you to experience comfort
Please, be strong. Please, be strong.
I want nothing but for you to live long.
I love you, my strength.

October 15 2017
12:58 PM

There he goes...
He wants to stride to the sky open wide
He wants to be happy, still but the same
His heart dead flat in silence and revelry
Recover, he wants to make his heart better
He feels okay now, he feels regretful, but forward, he moves
He cries, at least his heart is the only thing that can verbalize
Still, he believes that humans are good
Corrupted, maybe, just maybe, of good things yet to come
Pursuit of happiness is what only lies ahead
For life is so short to be wasted, so move ahead
The clouds parted
The bad dies, the good surrenders
Be happy, sit still
Hold your heart dearly, do not let the departed make it weary
Good is acceptance, move forward
Do not be consumed by the hatred... do not fail to worry
Worry of the future that is yet to come
Prepare your heart for what is to come
For when the good dreams succumb
Your happiness is what only surrenders
For nothing fights better than the pretenders

Can't take you off my mind
Hope that the professional moment with you is something I can rewind
I guess, I need to just move on
Maybe, the age gap is so strong
You wouldn't even remember me just like how I remember you
We are made acquainted with each other, but immediately lost the meaningless meeting
Don't let life pass me by
How can try my luck in the blink of an eye
Every move I make means taking risks
Do I even have the chance to be taken at bliss?

You left before I walk towards you
You turned your back before I run after you
I do not know what to do
Why is everything not on cue
Flowers are sweet
They get your inspired
They wipe all your tears
Yet, they open your fears
They all wither and die
Just hoping, and wishing the love will not die
Forever is the a dream
A dream is unreachable like the stars
Stars you can only love from afar

​I thought I was dreaming
When my mother told me he was outside waiting
I was extremely happy to see him
It was expected, but I never thought that it would come true

He was the same as before
He was everything and so much more
Still mesmerized by how he looks at me with those brown eyes
Still mesmerized by how well he still gets me by surprise

I should have listened more
I should have let him explain
But I just talked about myself and my pain
I listened not to understand but reply

I wanted to hurt him
So I threw sharp words at him
The more I realized how much I love him
At the end of the day, I never even said "I miss him"

When I saw him
All I wanted to do was hug him
I forgot that he was the one who made me realize
that I'm capable of being hurt, that I'm not a robot, that I'm vulnerable and that I could die.

All I ever did was write poems he would not even read
Pour my heart out in letters that I couldn't even speak
Words that I so long for him to hear
This love that just won't disappear

and there he was walking again
and there I was trying to be strong again
I guess, I'll never have a second chance at this romance
If only I could turn back time, I would grab the chance

All the questions he answered
All the questions he never answered
Please, come back to me, Oh, dear
All I want is for you to be near

If I get another chance
one more kiss, one more embrace
I'll gladly trace the outline of his face
All I want to do is just to be with him

My ego was up at that time
I wasted the time
What could have happened
If what I did was the opposite of what I chimed.

“I don’t hold on to the tail of your kite”
says the other Tori Amos song she sang to you last night
Reminding you to not worry because she won’t hold on to you
...but why did she just check her clock at 12:52?

Return to me
Even though you have not even been here
See me
Even though you have not yet known me
I see you, feel you, breathe you
Will you see, feel, breath me, too?
So busy with life
I neglect my social life
I will never say never to you
If you will be the one sent to me
I will never ask for more, just be with me, stay forever
Slow motion, that is your effect to me
Come back here, my love, wake me up from this illusion
Saw you at the church
imagining we were holding hands
having dinner afterwards
Ooh, Happy Easter!!!
I see your face everywhere
For you, I will be willing to be better than who I am today
Here me out (I know you won't)
See me (I know you won't)

Longing for connection
Where do I put this affection?
Been waiting ever since that day I started waiting
Still waiting even though someone was there
Grieving while being together
Feeling stuck even before I became free
Negativity envelopes me
I ask myself, why being alone makes me more in touched with myself
I do not know where to go?
where will I meet you?
Should I go to the one loving me or loving you
I hope that someday you will see through me
See that I'm the only one for you

Technology defies
the progress to survive
It dies the instance it loads
Just wants to hit the road
Technology dies
Progress becomes backwardness
Clenching of the jaw
Gums recede
Technology dies the instance it thrives
Like the teeth, it falls out
No one heard it, not even a single shout out
Stretching the back, crying out of nonsense
just the stress that this technology brings
16 hours not really enough to ring
backwardness is what it only offers
Slower than people
Couldn't have been patient
Next time, who is the patient?
Now, what do you think?

April 17 2018

There is nothing happy about death
Why is it that I never feel any sympathy for someone's death?
Everyone will go there
Everyone will falter
One after another
To death, we will all surrender
He could be nothing but good to his family
Well, I do not feel sorry, I'm even kinda happy
Don't let people see you sad
Don't let people see you mad
Reserve your anger to those you care about
Never let those insignificant people see your whereabouts
Now, I will pretend that I did not see or hear any news from this supposed sad event
I won't even say a single prayer, I will not be sad without my consent
No, I'll never be bothered by my conscience
I can sleep soundly, I'm happy
Now, you know, how much losing a father hurt...
I hope you realize and remember how hurt we were when it was our father who was lying in the coffin, and how my mother was hurt
I'll shut up now. I'll post something happy for everyone to see
especially your ill-mannered, abusive, opportunistic family
Yes. I know. People are like this.
They only see what they want or hear.
They only see themselves, especially, in despair
Well, life is unfair
I'm happy that you are all sad and unhappy
I hope that it'll last a lifetime
Go take advantage of some more people
Go be like a leech ******* the gold out of everyone
I hope nothing is left for you
I'm just plain happy that you are all blue.
I won't even say, "BLESS YOU."

Feeling that my life is passing me by
Couldn't do a single thing  I like doing
Trapped in this infinite solace
Let it not be my demise

There she is
"Sorry" is not a word you'll hear from her
She knows that she is to blame for some parts
But she refuses to get down from her high horse

October 9 2017

Thank you for helping me out when I was in AU
I received support from everyone in the team
However, I was more comfortable reaching out to you

Thank you for providing support to me when I was in Naga
You were very generous of your time and effort
If it were not for you, all I know is Nada

I always admire your talent and creativity
All I want for you is good health, success and great opportunities
You are the salt in the dishes
Truly, you provide completeness