Wasting away
Letting my life pass me by
seeing myself letting go
I can just remember, how I looked like, a few years ago
Everything crammed up in my brain
The hours of the day cannot even put away the strain
Seeing myself getting ugly
Gone is my beauty
In my mind, I think, of "maybe, tomorrow, it will get better"
For me, it gets worse, and worse, and worse...
My weight is dropping
My wrinkles are becoming visible
Laugh lines are deeper
Eyes alternately swell and deepen
Eye bags get darker, deeper, uglier
Letting my life pass me by
Feeling empty, fighting the urge to be a robot
Nothing but a machine, that is all I am
Just take a look at what I have become
I drown, I feel empty, I feel sad and teary
Nothing breaks me more than this burnt out
I break down, I cry, I drop, I suddenly die
Nothing cripples me than this urge to stop and just do nothing
Be a robot, feel nothing
I wish I am a robot capable of feeling nothing
Just so this robot-like lifestyle can be sustained
The human side of me is dying
The human trapped in a world
World, where robots are the norm
The jobs are what the robots are capable of doing
I die... I die... I die...

We've grown closer and farther
We've grown nothing closer than how we started
I like it that you are becoming farther and farther
Don't get me wrong, I still think of why you are moving on
I don't care about you, so go away, be away like you always do
The songs we sing together
The playlist you put together
The concert we watched together
It will be remembered, except, you...
Oh, no! I'm sorry, mister.

Short poems run in my head
Couldn't let myself occupy my bed
My love for you spreads like wild fire
You are someone I truly admire
I will forget a pen, just so I can borrow from you
I will forget my power, just so I can depend on you
I wonder how I can be liked by you
There is something about you that makes me feel blue
You are the epitome of my impalpable dream
I want you to be interested in me
Think of me, as someone who is not what she seems
Dim the lights, face my light
Do you ever feel surreal with me
ah, you are just too focused on your nymph.

December 18 2017
16:53

I watch all my could have been's get married with someone else
I watch all their smiles, laughter and cries
A part of me dies, gets lonely and cries
I watch all my could have been's thinking what could have been

You left before I walk towards you
You turned your back before I run after you
I do not know what to do
Why is everything not on cue
Flowers are sweet
They get your inspired
They wipe all your tears
Yet, they open your fears
They all wither and die
Just hoping, and wishing the love will not die
Forever is the a dream
A dream is unreachable like the stars
Stars you can only love from afar

Sea, submerge
I emerged
want to run towards the finish line
Can't even walk pass the starting line

Can't take you off my mind
Hope that the professional moment with you is something I can rewind
I guess, I need to just move on
Maybe, the age gap is so strong
You wouldn't even remember me just like how I remember you
We are made acquainted with each other, but immediately lost the meaningless meeting
Don't let life pass me by
How can try my luck in the blink of an eye
Every move I make means taking risks
Do I even have the chance to be taken at bliss?