October 11, 2017
10 AM

Take me to the sea
The calmness, sometimes tumultuous waters, I want to see
Envelope me with its waves
Jump with me, let's welcome the waves
Blue is the color or sadness
Green is the nature of freshness
Emerald green is the color of material things
Light blue, different shades of beings
These are the colors I want to see
The colors that the sky reflects abundantly
The tides go high and low
The waves move fast and slow
I want to swim against the tide
I sometimes want to walk, even stride
Wait, I do not know how to swim
But I want to give in to this very wim
Just look at the birds
Flying above the sand
Crossing seas, rivers, and oceans
Kiss my skin with the warmness of the sun
Embrace me with sea salt and give me a tan
The color of life, activity and fun
Squeeze some lemon on my hair
Rub it, have the sun penetrate every hair strand
It will give life to jet black fiber
Just enough to give me a sunshower
Let's raft together and cross the other side
Under the bridge, across the big wide sky
Oh, please...
Take me to the sea
Let's watch the sunrise, sunset
It will cause this fatigue, its demise.

October 10 2017
9:52 AM

The constant smirk on her face
The laugh lines that go deeper and deeper each day
The shallowness and darkness of her eyes
The obscure, unidentifiable feeling that envelopes her being
Metabolism is slower now
Sleepless nights cannot be handled just as much
Energy diminishes
She feels that everyday, she tarnishes
Buckles are no longer shiny
Feet walk toward the goals but not to her existence
Wait, she does not feel lonely
She just feels constant fatigue

October 10 2017
10:30AM

Still nowhere to be found
It's 10:33 in the morning
It hasn't messaged yet
It's 10:34 in the morning
A second feels like an hour
An hour feels like a day
A day feels like forever
Don't tell me that it'll be missing until the end of the day?
Technology fails big time
The office phone rings
I imagine it was the expected digits ringing
It rarely talks, it constantly messages
So, I'm in no position to expect
I'll keep on running if you call my name
The Haim song says

October 10 2017
09:38 AM

Verbalize what you want to say
Internalize what you really feel
Analyze what it is that you want
Recognize the existence of what makes you human
Care less of what other people think
Live more by thinking of yourself and no one else
Guess, you are not born to be reckless
Always fearful of your demise
Forget FEAR, says the forget-me-nots
Be as FIERY as the fire tree
Be as big as the fruits of the cannonball tree
Be as sunny and happy as the sunflowers
Forget Shyness, says mimosa
Stop the urge to cry, "Stop it!"
The statement I say to Lacrimosa
Believe in yourself, Do not cause your death
Chrysanthemums and Cherry blossoms...
They are two different flowers
Same beauty, different in meaning
Tomorrow, let's bloom like a long-stem rose
Red as blood, thorns as dangerous as knives
Be as it may, let's be roses
Forget dismay

Your presence has been missed since your absence
Nevertheless, your absence caused me to be ever more at present
Thank you for preparing me for your absence
Your absence has never been that hard in the nonemotional aspect

There she is
"Sorry" is not a word you'll hear from her
She knows that she is to blame for some parts
But she refuses to get down from her high horse

Anxiety lurks in
Should I give up and give in
Chaos is the state my brain is in
Should I give up and give in

Listening to songs makes me all the more worried
Binaural and isochronic tones do not work anymore
Music across all genre does not give me salvation
It just builds up the tension

Could not think straight
So many things that I have to think about
So many things that I have to accomplish
I sometimes wish that some things could be abolished.