I need to wipe this
smile off my face.
But I can't when it was
created by you.

I did it.
I saw him face to face.
I came over on a Thursday night
around 10:30,
only expecting to buy
some of his **** treats.
He was just as good looking
as I remember,
and just as great as I remember.
He has odd beautiful hair.
Dark brown, shaved down
short on the sides,
a small ponytail on the back,
with bangs.
He has new art on his arms,
and chest,
but he has the same soft eyes.

And those hands.

It was natural and we talked,
and caught up.
It was great to know that
we are still okay.
That we can fall back into that
natural vibe and smile
at each other .

I have no other words
to use than great.
Tonight was a good night.

At this point,
I am just waiting for the
night that can go by
without him even taking up
one second of my dreams.
I know I'm romanticizing
what we had,
but it's hard to forget
when I can't stop mentally
interacting with him.
And it's really
messing me up.

I'm thinking about quitting
my job.
Well then what would you do?
I don't know.
Take a week off,
and get a job at Staffmark
or somewhere else.
I know it's not easy to just find
a job quickly,
but I also know it's not that hard.
I'm just tired of being miserable
every time I have to wake up
and go to this place.
And I'm sick of the miserable people
that I work with.
I know that every time I turn
a corner someone is probably
talking ****.
I'm too old and too tired for that.
But I guess that's what happens
when you work with all women.
I really want to quit my job.

He asked me to buy some
**** edibles from him.
I meant to do it last night,
but I didn't.
But I was going to tonight.
I imagined how it would all
happen.
If he was there I would go to
the ATM,
walk up the steps to the door
and then ask if he was there.
I would probably go inside,
and say hello to everyone
and then tell him I wanted to buy some.
He would sell to me and we would
make small talk,
and everything would be cool.
But I would have done it.
I would have talked to him
face to face for the first time in
a year.
I just wonder how it would feel.
But he wasn't there and that
didn't happen.