I was never your valentine,
and you were never mine.
We didn't make it past
October.

I wonder who you think of
on that fourteenth day of
February,
when you see the words,
*I love you.

I finally caved and dyed
my hair again,
after months of letting it go,
just too lazy to care.
I came out of the shower
with the same off blonde
color I've had for years.
No roots!

I should be in bed,
but it's always hard to sleep
alone after laying next to someone
the night before.
I enjoy being by myself,
but I've never enjoyed an empty bed.

He wakes me up at 3 in the morning
with kisses that turn into more,
we smoke cigarettes,
and I go back to sleep as he
continues to stay up into
the night.
I like it this way.

Not the way it is now.

It still feels unfair that
I have all of these memories
with you,
that stick around like old
photographs,
that I have to keep putting away
out of sight because I can't
throw them out.
What do I do with all of them?
Like the night I snuck out of
my house that summer,
and ran down the street to meet you,
just so we could spend the whole
time kissing,
and saying I miss you.
What am I supposed to do with
all of you that's still left
with me?
I thought that by now you would be
forgotten,
instead you are haunting my dreams.

If I walk out the door,
you should know it doesn't mean
I'm leaving.
It means, I'll be back.
I don't plan on breaking
your heart,
but sometimes I fear
that you'll do just that
to mine.
It won't be because you
leave me,
or cheat on me,
or move far away.
It'll be because you
don't catch up to my dreams.
I have so many hopes
for the future,
and I can't help but worry
that you won't turn out to be
everything that I hoped
you could be.

He said,
I have a surprise.
and then handed me a
notebook.
He wrote a song about me.
And the hopeless romantic/writer,
in me fell in love all over again.

Oh I believe in yesterday*

Breakfast with The Beatles
will always remind me of my
favorite first date.
Good music,
good vibes,
good ****,
good coffee,
good conversation,
and a good person.

The sun was shining so bright
right next to me
that day,
that if it had been my last day
that would have been okay.