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Paige Oct 2014
How am I ever supposed
to decide on what's a good
direction to go with my life,
when I can't even decide on what
I want for lunch today.
If I ever want to finish school
I have no choice but to
pay for it in order to get my aid back.
I can, but the idea of spending
that much money on something
I could **** up is scary.
But I'm tired of bumming around,
working my life away,
with no end goal.
I don't have a life plan right now,
and I'm almost 20.
I need to get one and soon.
Paige Oct 2014
I was listening to the radio
this morning and someone repeated
a quote
they'd heard,
You can't make old friends.
So, call someone you love
they said.
Even for five minutes.
Funny, that I've tried to do this
very thing with him before.
Just calling to say I'm sorry.
But it's too late.
That's probably what he'd
say anyways.
Although, is it ever really too late
to make things right?
Paige Oct 2014
I'm perfectly cozy right
now.
In my fuzzy pajama pants
and big t-shirt,
all wrapped up in my blankets.
I'm a little lonely.
But who isn't when the
sun goes to bed and the moon
comes out to chill.
I've smoked all my ****
and tired myself out on my show.
So I'll call it a day and
rest up so I can be ready to
do it all again tomorrow.
Paige Oct 2014
Isn't it nice how at the time
when heart break takes place,
we can just sit there playing
Edward 40 hands,
while attempting to give
the world the *******,
because **** it,
we don't need love,
we don't need that person.

But oh, just wait.
In about a month you will
be writhing on the floor in
agony,
crying over the last bottle
of wine,
because alcohol doesn't even
numb the pain anymore.
That strong, independent
single woman walked out
of the room awhile ago and now
all that's left is this shell
of a person who can't find a reason
not to call and beg for them back.

And in case you haven't been
to both sides of the table,
there is no winner.
Whether it was your choice
or not, you'll still end up
on the floor, in some random room
in your house,
where nobody ever sits.

But enjoy the "freedom"
while it lasts,
because you'll never be free
from who you are.
Paige Oct 2014
I may be indecisive
sometimes and
I don't ever know what
I want to eat.
But I do know that when
it comes to him,
he's all I really want and need.
Paige Oct 2014
I just had to stop and delete
everything I had written
because when I read back over it,
I realized I was about to
try and put garbage out
and hopefully get a like.
I apologize anyway.
I just feel different these
days, like something's got
ahold of my spirit.
I feel like I'm a few more
bad weeks away from
having a mental breakdown.
Caution: keep the ***** away from me, otherwise you'll have a
sobbing nineteen year old
wreck in your lap.
I don't know how to end
this poem because I haven't
come to a conclusion.
Paige Oct 2014
I worry that he'll find
someone prettier,
who's got long blonde hair,
perfect nails
and a lot less issues.
Someone young and fun,
who doesn't stress about
life,
because things just happen
for her because she's beautiful
and smart.
And then here's me with
my short patchy hair,
and the definition of everything
a guy doesn't want.

When did my self esteem disappear?
I used to be so confident
in the body that I live in.
I used to know I was beautiful,
**** and mysteriously different
in all the best ways.
I used to joke about being a
man eater.
Well folks,
I'm not joking anymore.
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