Feeling like you have nothing
and you're absolutely worthless
is such a common feeling for most of
us
that half of us don't want to live anymore
like you're being suffocated
and it doesn't even matter
because you can smell his scent on
the pillow that's asphyxiating you
and if your last breath
is breathing him
in
why could anything else possibly
matter anyways
but its so *******
scary to be suffocated
so you'd rather dig into
your own skin
with an object
that wasn't even invented
for the harm you're doing
to yourself

“when I tried to **** myself in early February

I was thinking about laying in the snow

when I tried to **** myself in early February 

I wasn’t thinking about being under it
when I tried to **** myself in early February

I was thinking about satisfaction 

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I wasn’t thinking about a head stone
when I tried to **** myself in early February

I thought I was a waste of space

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I wasn’t thinking about my cemetery space 

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I thought of all the tears

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I wasn’t thinking about the years to come

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I was thinking about me

when I tried to **** myself in early February

I wasn’t thinking about you”

I’ve seen that shirt

so many times

from when I’ve warn it

to when I’ve ripped

it from your body

out of awful rage

because I’d break 
every single bone in 
your ******* face

if it weren’t for the 
fact
t
hat I already broke every single bone

in both of my hands

clenching my

fists 
keeping my cool

choking down a bottle

of pills

just to keep me from finding something
to break myself with