I am hungry, yes, but not for lack of food.
I hunger for hellos and conversations,
"I love you's" and angry confrontations.
I hunger for your voice, your taste, your touch.
I am tired, yes, but not for lack of sleep.
I tire of lonlessness and an empty bed,
"I miss you's" and things unsaid.
I tire of loss and sadness and distance.
I am bored, yes, but not for lack of entertainment.
I bore of silence and standing still,
"I wish you's" and maybe we wills.
I bore of people and places and things.
I understand your feelings boy,
More then I care to admit.

I have walked through free fire and flame.
I shutter to see the world all the same.
Something must change.
I have fought dragons and been damsel's.
I have bowed my head to demons.
Faerie tales finish
&
Theres nothing left for me now.

I am beginning to lose my words.
I couldn't pronounce democracy,
I cant remember the word for objects,
I forget what some things mean.
Years ago I was the english class favorite.
I was an actor, a singer a speech maker,
I read presentations for the school-board.
Now I am having trouble reading, period.
I am beginning to lose my coordination.
My hands just wont do as I say,
Sometimes they break into tremors,
I drop things if I don't take precautions,
I can't use scissors without it looking dumb.
I am beginning to lose my focus.
Things just don't fit together anymore.
Its not that I'm not trying I swear,
I'm just becoming so, so slow.
But I'm not slow enough not to notice,
That I am terrified.

Happy birthday to me,
I wish that sounded less lonely.
Its my birthday you know,
Would it **** you to say hello?
My poetry ***** now.
****.

And I wondered if I was for a moment.
Then I realized that I know crazy.
Crazy doesn't question itself, its never wrong.
Crazy hides the towels, crazy screams for hours.
Crazy forgets conversations and ignores medical conditions.
Crazy gives its money to its girlfriend before its kids.
She makes more then our whole household
Crazy forgets the important things like promises.
Like groceries for a month or caring about other people.
Crazy wouldn't bow its head to a grandparent for soap.
Crazy wouldn't been seen begging friends for food.
Someone has to feed your daughter
Now next time you call me crazy please remember,
I am not crazy, but my god I've been raised by it.

I dreamed that I visited an old loved flame.
I couldn't for the life of me remember his name.
He had a turbo shell, I still don't understand that bit.
I curled up there hoping and wishing that our pieces fit.
What a disaster, you screamed at me through an open window,
Nobody can ever go home again, you said, I know.
I guess this means I miss you.

I wish I could weave stories like magic,
I would spin tales to captivate you and entice you.
I wish I was so beautiful it hurt,
I would take you breath away and run.
I wish I was so ******* enticing,
I would make you look forward to my every word.
I wish I could be your favorite place,
I would hold my head up with dignity and pride.
I wish I was so something, could be something,
I would break down houses in my joy.
But I am just a silly girl with a big heart,
Who will try again tomorrow.
But tonight I will walk across the entirety of this town again,
This time without shoes.
To remind me of the feeling of your cold cold words.