I'm in a tunnel of delusion I'm not breathing
In a world of exhalation.
I'm covered in a tomb of words that I'm
suffocating in, dry drowning of false reflections
that my hands are corrupted upon.

When your with me I'm swimming in the euphoria
of moments, but when I'm careless I don't heed
the warning of your eyes. I  paddle into the moments
of forever not realizing I'm past that point of life.
I drown in the failings of life and float saddened & motionless.

song comes with the night
the silence of stars

their crackle and burn
perceived as light

a black sky, endless
silent, all knowing.

I cannot contain the grief the grief much longer,
I ache and yet nobody cares.
**** me, please.
I write cyclically,
And I am aware of my flaws,
Yet I ache to let them know;
To rescue me.
The one I want to rescue me most is the most distant; it is futile.
Oddly logical; my sadness.
I hope to see you again someday.
Goodbye.

I don't know if I'm happy.
But I know I'm depressed.
Even if I smile,
I'd end the day wishing I was dead.
Everyone who talks is temporary.
The grief I feel is evergreen.
I may move, but I stagnate.

I'll stay here
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here
Even if they don't want it.

I'm settling down,
You keep running in circles.
I'm tired now
But you still keep leaving me;
I won't stay for long
I'll just rot away.
I'm settling down,
But you keep leaving me.

I'll stay here,
Even when you're gone.
I'll stay here,
Even If they don't want me;
I'll stay here,
Even if nothing's left;
I'll be here,
Then cry, and bleed, and die.

I'll stay here,
Even if you're things are all what's left;
I'll be here,
*Then bleed, and bleed, and die.

Red ribbons.
Such as my thread of fate is malleable,
They toy with it.
Twist and bend and cut,
To their desire;
Without consideration of me;
Or what I would feel.
To them, I am obsolete.
To truth, I am obsolete.
I cannot be saved.
I have accepted that fact.
All that's left of me is to suffer.
Good riddance.

What they are is unbeknownst to me.
What I am is unbeknownst to them.
They do not see the sadness beyond the smiles.
They do not see the broken soul inside;
And I ponder, it is for the best.

"What makes you think I'm so special?"

If I could sail the stars,
I'll take you with me;
If I could get the world's fortune,
I'd give it to you, too.
*Too bad—

06/07/17

Once more I am in nowhere;
Surrounded by people who know nothing;
Nothing of the grief I hold;
As I stagnate in the standstill of my time,
Revolving are the worlds around me.
The black sheep begs the wolf to eat him;
But even the predators elude him.
Such a sullen fate;
Yet the black sheep is grateful;
**As he says his last goodbyes.

06/06/17

I was forced to sit and watch;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I was forced to sit and watch
As those I knew turn anew;
Seemingly void of the past that held them back;
Seemingly void of me.
Maybe it's an omen;
That people are better without me;
As they spit the flames they bring about;
I burn.
In jealousy.
In regret.
**In sadness.