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She gets the bus
Sits where there is always
Two seats:
One for her
And another for hope.
The hope that her beloved
Will get in the same bus
And he will sit beside her
With a broad smile
And arms
To hold her.
You were wrong about me…

You were
Wrong
About me

And I am glad I realize this now
Because you would never have been the one to admit it
And now I am done
You gave me nothing
Except snide remarks

You never had a good thing to say
        Never had a kind word leave your lips
  That is until it was greased with black velvet

Then and only then
They pour out, slurring and sloshing
Like the last drink before bed

Only your words don’t come with ice
Like your ***** have to

But some times
More often than not
No words are said at all

For more than a year at times
Nothing was said

No Happy birthday
No merry Christmas
And least of all
A Hello

So now that I have spent time without you
Out of earshot
I am starting to see how wrong you were
But I am also seeing you for who you are
You are no longer the reflection
Looking up at me in the broken glass
                              I had to swept up from the floor
You aren’t the spontaneous, Unreliable
Dad who goes out and buys a sailboat

No instead I see who you really are

Hurt, Scared, Defensive
Only you can’t raise a child  at arm’s length
I can relate to your child hood
After all I too know what its like to try and sift pearls of wisdom from the fountain of inebriated words pouring from a parents mouth
Maybe I just got better at it than you
It takes time and you generally just end up with handfuls of ash but every once in a while you see the shimmery white bead of wisdom standing out from its dark surroundings



I do not
In anyway
Condone what you did
Do
But there comes a point that I realized
Part of where our relationship being muddled messed up and painful falls to me
It is not my fault you did what you did
But it was mine that I expected any different
  A bad night
  Ending in tears
  Harsh words and slammed doors
  And profuse apologies the next morning
  The usual every other court mandated weekend
None of which my fault
But the four-hour car ride home
In which I usually decided to forgive you...
     That was
I should have never believed after the second or    
    third time that things would change
After the eighth or ninth
    Or when I lost count
I gave you second chance after second chance
Hoping one day that old ugly saying wouldn’t be true when I woke up the next morning

That saying being:
“I have three priorities
*****
Smokes
And my truck”

I guess I can’t fault you for being honest but when you said sorry and you looked so sincere is when I wanted your honesty to come through while in actuality that’s where it faltered

So it’s not worth me holding a grudge
Getting back and trying to get even

When you hold in all of that poison it hurt you more  
  than who you hold the grudge against

So
   You were wrong about me
I thought you should know and one day if you don’t yet, you will see that
One day I will look back and see how wrong you were but not resent you for it
It's when I realized this I started to forgive you
It may not be okay what happened
But I will be okay so I can’t waist myself on being angry, it only hurts me


So you know what dad

I forgive you
I wish I had a terrace
So I would put a mattress there
And I would sleep everyday
Stargazing by the wind lullabies

I wish I had a spaceship
So I would fly through the galaxies
Just to watch the dancing stars
And I wouldn't need to sleep
Cause I'd be happy just to dance
By the sound of space guitars

I wish I was a galaxy
So I would be the home of countless stars
And I would play them joyful songs
So they wouldn't cry
As they slowly die

I wish I was a star
So I would sleep everyday
Watching you smile
And I would play you windly lullabies
So you could gently fall asleep at night

And I wouldn't be afraid to die
Cause I'd knew you'd be happy
Just to watch me shine
Even for the last time.
Imagine utopia!
Your mind lit up like a christmas tree
unable to hide a single thing
at mercy to the powers that be

Come on were talking telepathy!
A fundamental algorithm indeed
they'll sell it, they'll push it, they'll force it?
guess we'll just have to wait and see

How exciting!
May be we'll be the ones
may be your kids or their kids
but one thing is quite clear

We are all Lab Rats running the wheel.
Dreams of a lifetime that fade away in one day.
Dreams of a night that last a lifetime.

Between these extremes,
I saw a lifetime go away
While all my dreams turned into tears.

Everything that's left for me now
Is the shadow of our love
Hidden in our past
Because there is no sunshine.

The sun faded away...
With you, my dear.
Unhinging all my thoughts,
The shadow still come and haunt me.

The most beautiful of all the nightmares
To see the sunshine penetrates in your eyes
The look of an angel that disappears
When the moon is satisfied.

It's still night, my dear
Yet, I shall be dreaming
Beneath the shadow of the wind
That cannot take away this feeling...
We used to be so close, so inmost, so opposite and disposed and yet so equal and lazy that we were one.
Opposites attract and then get distracted. Equals distract and then get attracted.
We are opposites, we are equals, we are strangers.
We were opposites, we were equals, but today we are just two strangers with a routine of talking everyday about stuff that never existed.
We are two points intertwined by a circular line that keeps moving without our consent, lost in a infinite time space.
A friendship disguised, a feigned tolerance, a mutual and misunderstood need of acquaintanceship between each other.
A prophylactic and procrastinated love that wants to keep distance, deviating itself from the deep suffering.
But what suffering?
The suffering was only the avid fear by pain that turned us into two unaware and afraid of everything.
We are singular.
We are plural.
We're diminutive and we're augmentative.
We are two laconic passengers of the wacky train without driver that is the prolix relationship of humans, love and hate.
We are two regular strangers in relentless pursuit of deterioration of our love as a solution for all in our lives.
We are two remote lovers in relentless pursuit of deterioration of our lives as a solution for all our love.
Once upon a time,

Isn't that how fairy tales are supposed to start?

A man and a woman.

Fall in love.

And live happily ever after.

Isn't that how they all end?

Oh, not anymore?

There's too many dragons getting in the way.

— The End —