We were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could touch us
Invincible as we ran through the field at recess
We swore we were the
Fastest
The quickest
We grew up together?
No.
we grew apart together.
held hands with my best friends
In 6th grade
Making a pact that neither of us would do drugs
But it's three in the morning
And I'm smoking my second bowl at the beach.
Traded my Capri sun for a cup of lean
We run from the cops because we still swear we're the
Fastest
The quickest
We still think we're untouchable
Even as we walk through these halls sleep deprived
Nobody knows what happened last night
We wish we didn't know what happened that night
We refuse to acknowledge the events of that night
We won't even manage to look at each other in the eye
When they ask who's at fault
We repeat
Not I
Not I
So what does this mean for us?
Is this what we were so excited for?
Is this the moment we were so impatient for?
I couldn't wait to grow up
Now we're in the bathroom throwing up
These drugs we refuse to give up
I'm lost in a life that I was not prepared for
It's not like I didn't have a plan
In fact,
We had a plan
V was going to be a teacher
J was was going to be a fire fighter
N was going to be a power ranger
don't know how but we were five and everything seemed possible
And I
well
I wanted to change the world
But you know things happen
People change
V is having a baby
J is moving dope
N is six feet under
And I?
Well,
I'm trying really hard to keep it together
after that night we were just not the same
We lost ourselves
Just not the memory of that night
Unfortunately
Some parts I remember more vividly
My skin feels *****
Just remembering
I know you felt guilty
And I have to admit that
For a long time
I hated all of you
But never as much as I hated myself
For losing control
For not finding the words to say
No
For thinking that maybe,
That maybe if I drank enough
I could drown the voices in my head telling me to **** myself
I wasn't satisfied with my life
I'm still not satisfied with my life
No matter how much alcohol I drink
No matter how much I fill my lungs with smoke
It won't ever fill this empty void.
Everyone was laughing and dancing downstairs.
But I felt sick.
He said he would help me feel better.
He was my friend.
My body felt heavy I just wanted to lie down.
I could smell the tequila on his breath as he whispered
"Trust me".
I closed my eyes in hopes that he would stop.
He said
"Don't worry, I've done this before"
My voice was gone
I stayed there in silence
He left to the bathroom
I left his bedroom
Stumbling
Crying
He almost got what he wanted
And nobody helped me
Instead,
We tried pretending that nothing had happened
We all blamed each other
Best friends forever
But
No longer together
I'm done pretending that nothing happened
I'm done making up excuses as to why I freeze up when I'm touched at times
I'm done staying quiet
But I want you to know that
I'm done being angry
It wasn't your fault
I shouldn't have blamed you
And despite everything,
I forgive him too.
I remember back when were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could ever touch us.
Back when we were
invincible.
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
We were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could touch us
Invincible as we ran through the field at recess
We swore we were the
Fastest
The quickest
We grew up together?
No.
we grew apart together.
held hands with my best friends
In 6th grade
Making a pact that neither of us would do drugs
But it's three in the morning
And I'm smoking my second bowl at the beach.
Traded my Capri sun for a cup of lean
We run from the cops because we still swear we're the
Fastest
The quickest
We still think we're untouchable
Even as we walk through these halls sleep deprived
Nobody knows what happened last night
We wish we didn't know what happened that night
We refuse to acknowledge the events of that night
We won't even manage to look at each other in the eye
When they ask who's at fault
We repeat
Not I
Not I
So what does this mean for us?
Is this what we were so excited for?
Is this the moment we were so impatient for?
I couldn't wait to grow up
Now we're in the bathroom throwing up
These drugs we refuse to give up
I'm lost in a life that I was not prepared for
It's not like I didn't have a plan
In fact,
We had a plan
V was going to be a teacher
J was was going to be a fire fighter
N was going to be a power ranger
don't know how but we were five and everything seemed possible
And I
well
I wanted to change the world
But you know things happen
People change
V is having a baby
J is moving dope
N is six feet under
And I?
Well,
I'm trying really hard to keep it together
after that night we were just not the same
We lost ourselves
Just not the memory of that night
Unfortunately
Some parts I remember more vividly
My skin feels *****
Just remembering
I know you felt guilty
And I have to admit that
For a long time
I hated all of you
But never as much as I hated myself
For losing control
For not finding the words to say
No
For thinking that maybe,
That maybe if I drank enough
I could drown the voices in my head telling me to **** myself
I wasn't satisfied with my life
I'm still not satisfied with my life
No matter how much alcohol I drink
No matter how much I fill my lungs with smoke
It won't ever fill this empty void.
Everyone was laughing and dancing downstairs.
But I felt sick.
He said he would help me feel better.
He was my friend.
My body felt heavy I just wanted to lie down.
I could smell the tequila on his breath as he whispered
"Trust me".
I closed my eyes in hopes that he would stop.
He said
"Don't worry, I've done this before"
My voice was gone
I stayed there in silence
He left to the bathroom
I left his bedroom
Stumbling
Crying
He almost got what he wanted
And nobody helped me
Instead,
We tried pretending that nothing had happened
We all blamed each other
Best friends forever
But
No longer together
I'm done pretending that nothing happened
I'm done making up excuses as to why I freeze up when I'm touched at times
I'm done staying quiet
But I want you to know that
I'm done being angry
It wasn't your fault
I shouldn't have blamed you
And despite everything,
I forgive him too.
I remember back when were five years old full of laughter and joy
We thought nothing could ever touch us.
Back when we were
invincible.
