She didn't suffer
from post-trauma

There was no tremors
no shocks in her life.

The shadows that haunted her dreams
were her very own.
Eating away at her soul
Every day a little more.

And she felt shaken
for knowing that so many
were suffering through
so much worse.

Her demons were self-made.
Keeping her awake at night.
Laughing at that deep sadness
that infiltrated her heart.

While she loved all things bright and beautiful.
The world inside her head
was a darker place.

That tender soul
suffered

"I'm okay"
She'd say
When someone noticed
the shadows flitting across her face

She wasn't ready to share her demons.
Not when others needed strength instead.

I don't want to know.
‎
How many women have been in your bed.
Or how many mistakes you've made.

I don't want to hear.

That you are a disaster waiting to happen
And how you will end up hurting me.

Because in the end we all have our pasts.
We've all made our mistakes.

I'm trying hard.

Not to turn this into more than it is
Not to overthink.

I really don't want to care.
But I feel like I should.

And in these moments you get a short glimpse of what life is about.
Inbetween that "not-yet-tipsy"
and the "not-sober-anymore" feeling 

Enjoying watching others enjoying themselves 

The music is not loud enough to drown out the noise in your head but too loud to keep a conversation going with your neighbour. 

You know none of this is forever.

And that you mean it when you say, I don't care what the past was like or what the future will be.
‎
You're there in this moment
Smiling subtly to yourself 

Because you are‎
And everyone around you *is‎

A kiss
Such a small gesture
Lips touching each other
tender
and fierce
melting together
and teeth clashing

Such a small gesture
So much meaning

Good morning
and Goodbye

I love you
and I'm sorry

Full of longing
and fear

Rendering words
unnecessary

A kiss
Just a moment in time
With so much meaning.

Those few minutes of early dawn
when the first rays of sunshine
are just about to reach the horizon

and the sky and the sea
merge
in one pastel coloured sheet,

As if floating through a cloud
of cotton candy,

Muffled sounds
of the ocean
lapping against the hull

and the seagulls' silent flight,

Those few minutes of early dawn
before the world's madness begins anew

They are my favourite.

There's a sadness in your heart
- buried underneath fond memories -
                     Breaking free
                  At random times,
While your dazzling smile
Is trying to keep the darkness at bay.

Are you a couple?

We smile at each other,
mischief twinkling in your eyes.

We get asked that a lot.

No*
we answer in unison.

Raised eyebrows
Incredulous glances.

Everyone is sure,
one day they will catch us.
In Flagranti.
Holding hands
exchanging kisses.

We shudder at the thought.
But we let them
think their own thoughts
spin their own reality.

It'd be too much work,
explaining
How I am not what you want
and you are not what I want

So we spend every waking minute together
seeking comfort
in the loneliness of the other.