Everytime
I get myself into this
I fall apart.

Everytime 
I find out that 
they are not the one for me,
My insides are turnt upside down.

Everytime
I'm being told
"I'm sorry, but there's someone else"
A little piece of me dies.

But I keep going.
I keep getting myself into this.
Feeling the excitement. 
Feeling the pain.
Until one day,
Someone comes along 
To put the pieces back together.

Or until there's nothing left.

I shouldn't, she said.
       *And neither should I, he replied.

We are not good people, she said.
        No, he replied,
                 *but we are happy.

Life lessons I learned from friends, who've spent almost 90 years upon this planet

Stay creative. Let your phantasy carry you.
Laugh often. And if life throws itself at you, smile at it.
Never lose faith. Not in yourself and not in the force that drives you.
Keep your friends and family close. They will stand by you in times of peril.
Be kind. To nature, to the people around you and to yourself.
Live humbly. Only take what you need and then share half of it.
Try something new. And if everyone tells you, that you'll fail, show them what you're capable of.
And if you fall, no matter how often, get back up, shake off the dust and carry on! Because your life is a big adventure and you are here to enjoy it!

Sometimes
Every now and again

My heart
       reaches out
             To touch yours

             And it will take all my willpower
        To withdraw
Those tender strings
And keep them locked inside

Sealed by a ring
        And the promise
           To do better next time.

The trees are rushing by
as we're headed towards the setting sun
- full speed, next stop: Horizon!

A smell in the air
- I'd be able to pick it out anywhere -
of moonflower and lavender,
a hint of citrus
soft, soothing and a spark
of adventure

Images are flashing by
like the landscape beyond the glass
my mind is a blur
my eyes fixed on the fiery sun
- fighting for her place among the clouds

A voice is singing
about regret and lost chances
sad and full of sorrow

Memories are popping up
from the foggy mind:

Words that should have made their way to the lips
- and those better left unsaid

There's faces of lost love
- and those that should have been caressed
instead of being turned away

As I look upon the lake outside
Its waters still as a mirror
- reflecting the dusky sky -
despite our passing speed
I cannot help but wonder
whether all my decisions were
- in the end -
the right ones
leading me to all those wondrous places.

I don't regret a single thing
Because the train is only moving forward
and there's none scheduled
for the past.

I don't want to hurt you!

That's what you come up with,
Like a line from a bad movie.

Do you realize,
That these words hurt me so much more
Than anything else ever could?

I look up into your eyes,
I can feel the tears rising to my throat.

Keep up the facade!
Do not give yourself away!

Slightly I punch you on the arm,
Thanks for telling me!
A voice says.
So much like my own,
But coming from a distant place
Outside my head.

So, we're cool?

You ask, smiling that wicked smile.
I just don't want to hurt you.

The words dig into my skin,
Through muscle, flesh and bone
Til they they reach my heart.

We're cool.*
I can hear the distant voice.
A smile steels onto my face.

Too often have I heard these empty words.

You hug me goodnight.
I breath in slowly.
The voice breaks a little.
There's no need for you to worry.

Tonight I will cry myself to sleep
my heart
Engraved with the words just exchanged
Will harden a little more.

Til one day,
Someone, without empty words,
Comes along.