We drove around town when it was
So early in the morning the neighborhoods were still asleep
And the perfect temperature brought us chills
That ran through our t-shirts, keeping us awake
And feeling alive

The music echoed through empty streets as we sat there,
Smiling at the road ahead
I had that tremendous feeling of just being content
The feeling you get when you
Can't seem to stop smiling because everything is just
So perfect for those few minutes

And when we went back home, we never slept
Because we stayed up all night talking,
I haven't felt that innocent in a long time

I looked up at him and we both smiled
Finally, a friend I could be myself around
Someone who was more concerned about my life
Rather than how much I was willing to put out

"In the most platonic sense of the word, I really do love you"

I wrapped my arms around him after he said this and closed my eyes, because
Driving through those empty streets sharing a feeling
I haven't felt in a while, and hearing those perfect words,
Could put me right to sleep, and they did

I've decided to stop
For real this time, I won't go back
So please stop texting me with lies,
I am trying so hard to build
Enough confidence to tell myself I
Don't need you anymore
And you're making this
Really hard
I'm tired of coming home sore
With no excuses left to tell myself anymore,
So please let me be,
I have decided to stop
But that word doesn't seem to be in your
Dictionary

Seven months wasted, because when I think
Of us, I think of the day you
Told me I wasn't thin, and the nights
You would tell me to leave you alone
And the next mornings where
I was expected to be in your bed
Followed by the day
You dumped me because of a
Pregnancy scare,
And how I was always too
Childish
Or how I wasn't allowed
To hang out with other boys
The day I dyed my hair, you said you liked it better
Before, and when you got mad
Because I didn't want to ******* right when
You wanted it,

So when I think of
You,
I think of seven months wasted
And no, I don't smile

I look to God,
Because it's all I can do.

Maybe I'm trying
To grow up
A little too
Fast, because
When you push
Me against the couch
And arrange me
The way you
Want,
I never seem to
Have the courage
To softly speak,
"Stop"

But

I just think
Maybe,
I tried to grow up
Too fast, and now I'm in
Over my head
Screaming only to myself,
"Stop"

This isn't me