I dig my nails into my skin,
wanting to feel something that is deep within,
but nothing is ever enough,
and I never seem to win;
I pour a glass of wine;
and sniff amongst the vines,
sensing the scents of a million heartbreaks,
that were only ever mine.
How foolish was I to imagine
that I alone,
could be a ship;
in your turbulent
and tumultuous life,
when you were the ocean itself.
Something within: numb, cold and cruel.
creeping inside; persistently to hide.
shivering, deep aside.
Of all the things that I could wish and hope for,
I prayed to a god who I doubt and disappoint;
begging for him to take me back in time,
just so that I could unmeet you... for one last time,
frankly, there isn't much that I wouldn't do,
for this to all become true.
You are the beautiful nightmare that haunts me awake;
into a place where my reality seems nothing but-
**bland and opaque.
To hear your voice, and see your face... Oh, I'd much rather take a blow to my brain.
You were a thorned rose; placed onto a rotting grave,
who made even death;
seem beautiful with *grace.