Crawling away for safety
Only to barely make it
Crawling away from the stares
The hateful,disgusted stares
That burns the victim
Burns through the thin layer of scarred skin
Burns through the littered flesh
Burns all the way to the soul
.......
Crawling away to safety
Ducking off just in time
In time to dodge the vicious stereotypes
So sharp they cut through the flesh
Through the flesh to the bare soul
The brutal beliefs
Of you and you
Of the world
Of you and you
And possibly me
Just barely dodging the painful swings
The painful punches of the tongue
Opinions being thrown
Thrown like a professional mad man
In a room with only his thoughts
Screams of pain
Wails of agony
The sag of defeat
The drag of limp esteem
The shortness of breathe
Due to the fingers of life
Closing in slowly but thoroughly
Tighter and tighter
Around my windpipe
My only source of survival
......
Crawling away to safety
Only to be pulled back
Pulled back by embarrassment
Pulled back by the past
The pain of yesterday
The pain that has seemingly closed the door
Closed the door to the joy of tomorrow
Pulled back by the mistakes
The foolish mistakes of a silly child
Pulled back by the thoughts
The thoughts that held me
Held me against my will
Hard against the wall
Fear slapping me around
The truth waiting for its turn
The past getting amped up for its chance
No help in sight
My future passed out to my left
My present knocked out at my right
No idea of what's next
No idea of what's to come
No idea...
Not a clue
Is there even gonna be a next
Or has life won round one

Why am I searching for love
When its apparent
That love has never started searching for me
Why am I searching for love
Is it because I want it
Or is it because that's what I think I want
Why am I searching for love
When as I look around
I see all of mii close family and friends
Being hurt by this this...thing called love
Love is supposed to be gentle
Love is supposed to be kind
Love is supposed to be sweet
But love is really just like...
A new video game
You see everybody else with it
So you want it to
You have to have it because its the latest trend
So you go out and you search all the stores
Finally when you're about to give up
You stumble upon the last store open that day
You go in and low and behold
They have exactly what you're looking for
So you buy it
You do a little more looking
And when you see nothing else that pleases the eye
You take your new game home
Once you get it home
You're so anxious to open it
You can barely contain yourself
You hook it up and plug in the t.v.
You've never had anything like this
So you're rather inexperienced
You cut it on and its like magic
Fills the entire room
The home screen appears with the words
"press start" blinking across the screen
You press start
Nothing happens
You press it again
Still nothing happens
You press every button on the controller and finally the screen goes black
Whew, finally you're in
But still nothing happens
The screen is frozen and you don't know why
You hit the t.v thinking that your problems lies there
Of course its the t.v.
The t.v. is old and rugged
But the game is new so I know that's not the case
You hit the t.v.
Shake the t.v.
Unplug and plug the t.v. back in
Still nothing happens
So you wait...
Still nothing happens
You're beginning to get upset
Why is this happening when this game is brand new??
I know this is mii first time but it shouldn't be to difficult.
It never appears this difficult for the others ...
Maybe I should read the directions
.......
There are no directions...
For no one knows the true outcome of this game we all call love.
Its the type of game where you just bluskidoo and jump in
You know where you're going but not what's going to happen
You predict you're situation by looking at others situation
But it doesn't work like that
For love...
Is not a game...

To some siblings are a gift from God
To some siblings are a curse from hell
But to me....
siblings are...
A shoulder to cry on when I overflow
An ear to listen when I need to clear mii head
A body to talk to when I'm not in the mood
Mii help me when I can't do it alone
Mii life preserver when I swim out to far
Mii buddy when I wanna play
Mii closest friend whom no one can replace
Mii guardian who has mii back when I'm too busy covering the front
Mii treasure box in which I confide all of mii precious secrets
Mii compass for when I've lost mii way
Mii salt for when mii food is tasteless
Mii hope when I'm backed up against the wall
Mii night light when I'm afraid to sleep
Mii....
I have no more words to describe mii siblings for no one can truly use words to say just what...
Mii siblings are to me...

Standing here with mii paintbrush
With a blank easel staring me in the face
What to paint, what to paint
......
All of these thoughts running through mii head
The creative energy is flowing through me so strong its practically pouring through mii pores like the sweat of a hard worker in the hot beaming sun....
But none of it seems to make it to mii brain
I'm standing here not knowing what to do
Should I put this here, maybe if I put this there
.....
Ugh its so confusing
Why is this happening to me
I kno what I want to draw
But I can't
I dont know how
Maybe its the brush
Or is it the lack of experience
I slide to the floor
With tears sliding down mii face almost just as fast
Suddenly I begin to shake and I am lifted off of the floor
Scared but afraid to show it I stand still
The tears have eased up a little but just like the stream they forever flow
Suddenly black rings appear under mii eye for just like the panda my tears leave marks that even the biggest eraser can't rid of....
......
The paint brush begins to run across mii body
making me the easel
Everything from pain to punishment is being etched on mii body
Vicious thoughts, painful memories, my brutal past, my boring present, and even my discouraging future are all being sketched on mii limp body
I can't move, I can't stop it
Its as if......
I'm the easel of the world who has now become my creator

Tuesday night
Wednesday night
Thursday, Friday, Saturday night
Wet pillow case
After pillow case
Tears streaming down my face
Like the river
Always flowing uncontrollably
Never wanting to show emotion
Always being the strong one
Always there to lend an ear
Always there to lend a shoulder
Always there to give a hu
Always there to provide a laugh
Always there for you
Whenever...
Wherever...
Doesn't matter to me
I'll be there
......
Sweep the floor
Wash the clothes
Wash the dishes
Clean your room
Fix your bed
Get the mail
Cook dinner
Play nice
Always do your best
Try harder
Succeed
Make me proud
Give me something to look back on and be proud
Do better than the others
Don't let me down
.......
Come prepared
Do your bellringer
Complete pages 1- 5
Read chapters 2 and 3
Complete this for homework
Study for your test
This project is worth...
This project is due...
This project is due...
This project is worth...
Follow this rubric...
Presentation guidelines are....
......
Tuck your shirt in
Where's your I.D...?
Wrong color jacket
Take off the shoes
Wrong shirt
Walk on the right
Major referral
I need to see...
Report to my office
Three day suspension
......
For you to go back and tell
We can't be cool anymore
You fake and I don't do fake
Yeahh girl haha
I can't stand that girl
That's why you my girl
Ion mess with her kind
She nerve-racking
......
Aye girl, what that is on yo arm
Boys like smooth skin
With them scales on your arms
Nice shoes... Stop laughing at that girl
I like yo hair... Hahaha
Don't bump into me girl
What's yo problem?
what that is in her head
That girl stank bruhh
There you go dee
Don't play wit me bruhh
.....
You a mistake
Why you in my face
I hate you
Get a life
You make me sick
Go crawl in a hole
Why you here
What you want
Go choke on yo blood and die
I wish you would just fall off the face of the earth
Go to hell
F* you bruhh
.....
Family
Friends
School
Home
Siblings
Emotional
Physical
Mentally...

I can only take so much
The weight of the world
Tons upon tons
Upon my tiny shoulders
Knees buckling
Underneath it all
I can hold on a little while longer
But what's the point
Is there even a point
Why bother
.......
Boxing ring
In the blue...
The heavyweight champion, LIFE
In the red,
Me
Boom, boom, bam, bam
One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six...
Nine... Ten
                TOTAL KNOCKOUT!!!

Creamy...
Smooth...
Sweet...
Melt in my mouth delicious
How I love your savory flavor
The way you sit on my tongue
Caressing my mouth
With love and care
.....
The carefully engraved tattoo
Sitting directly in your middle
Lets me know that its only you
That its the real you
And not some imposter
Always trying to be you
But never succeeding
....
Your fun-size ways
Never seems to fulfill
They can't seem to fill
Your king-sized shoes
But even your king-sized shoes
Look small compared to your
Giant perfections
.....
I like others
But no one else
Can come between me and you
The love we share is
Sweeter than honey
Better than money
Greater than him
Greater than her
This love just simply can't be compared
This love is so complex
I wouldn't wanna be without you
Ever... You are the best
My baby
My lover
My honey
My shooting star
My honey
My lover
My baby
My Hershey bar

Another dimension
Filled with black
Black walls
Black bars
Black boys and girls
Black cars sitting on the corner
Waiting for their helpless victim
To exit the black drugstore
Black guns
Being held by the hands
Of a black kid
Aiming the barrel
At his innocent black victim

Another dimension
Filled with white
White clouds
White walls
White boys and girls
White women gathering
At the front of the beauty parlor
White men reading their newspaper
While getting their shoes polished
White children playing on the playground
Laughing and getting along

Another dimension
Filled with red
Red blood
Red stamps
Red fire
Red puddles
Created by the blood of an innocent person
Red fire in the black man's eyes
Bullets flying from his barrel
Red blood spewing from the hole
The hole that is now in the little boys head
A little boy on the porch playing
Playing with his action figures
For the first and last time
Red stamps on the file
The file that puts you in jail
Wait was the victim black
Oh well put him in a holding cell for a few hours until someone comes with bail.
Blood flowing from the superficial wound
The wound of an old man
The wound that was caused by a stray bullet
The fire in his eyes
The red of the stamp
The red of the blood that will never be cleaned
Was the victim white
Sentenced to life without parole

Another dimension
Where everything is grey
Grey smiles
Grey hands
Grey hearts
Black people
White people
Coming together as one
Black people
White people
Forming one race
Under the sun