real love does not exist

change your password
keep to yourself

u know nothing about me

idk why this is so hard for me

nothing is forever

i showed u sylvia plath for her head in the oven
not her words i youtubed hunter s thompson for the ashes in a cannon not the drug use

i still dont trust you
something isnt right

u abandoned me at the darkest time in my life and for that i will never forgive you i always was there for you

week 1 constant intense ***
week 2 slightly dimished
week three effort dissapears
conversation changes
everyone else is of higher importance
because u have alreay overcame the challenges and claimed what you fought for
texts dissapear
*** dissapears
except for in the movie in their eyes everytime another challenge walks by
and u are alone now together
dreaming of sleeping with other people
for the rest of your life

why can no one be transparent
even when things are so obvious

A sphere that no one can penetrate
Alone

i dont trust you or anyone

never meant to feel happiness

I dont trust anyone

i dont want to know you more than i do

i see u just slide by
like nothing ever happend
like years never happend
like i never showed u life when you were empty
like u never took from me any chance of living right

starting to believe love does not exist

u ask someone please tell me the truth
they lie to you
and thats all there is

******* for using me

people need what is not given to them freely
when they recieve it everything else diminishes into nothing and a relationship is born

terrible

what is the purpose of anything
with everything that is dying

how is dark and where is god
approaching the end

starting to believe in none of this is real

nothing alive is breathing

done giving my whole self to people that dont deserve it

it all changes in the morning
what i was is gone
u need to embrace reality

all i want is real love ever since i can remember everything else  is a byproduct of trying to find this nothing else has ever mattered

I can read your mind
You can read mine
What you built is not what you needed
And I’m still watching over your building

nothing is eternal

a woman riding the beast

everyone can love and respect you in the world and it means nothing if the one you want too doesnt see it

both of you really ****** me and u know i never deserved it

i really dont think this will work

U don’t know how to feel for another person it’s all self pity and a sickness in your stomach that you don’t want to feel anymore

begins to feel how everything begins to feel

is there anything else

maybe i already turned away what i needed

i know things i cant tell u
if i tell u its on me and
i will never let it be that way

already dead u just dont feel it yet

past life
reunited love
nothing else

u dont even know me
or make the effort

done trying im here now but you are not ready

idk if i can take this anymore

god is just a memory where you need her to be

terminally sad
in unending repair

reminding myself that every door I open is also an exit

even when im together im alone
no one sees this like i see this

i love you sorry about all this mess

no one will ever see u how u want to be seen