terminally sad
in unending repair

done giving my whole self to people that dont deserve it

done trying im here now but you are not ready

A sphere that no one can penetrate
Alone

why can no one be transparent
even when things are so obvious

past life
reunited love
nothing else

both of you really ****** me and u know i never deserved it

******* for using me

I can read your mind
You can read mine
What you built is not what you needed
And I’m still watching over your building

a woman riding the beast

never meant to feel happiness

even when im together im alone
no one sees this like i see this

nothing is forever

i really dont think this will work

real love does not exist

U don’t know how to feel for another person it’s all self pity and a sickness in your stomach that you don’t want to feel anymore

i dont trust you or anyone

nothing alive is breathing

how is dark and where is god
approaching the end

i dont want to know you more than i do

begins to feel how everything begins to feel

is there anything else

already dead u just dont feel it yet

people need what is not given to them freely
when they recieve it everything else diminishes into nothing and a relationship is born

i still dont trust you
something isnt right

u abandoned me at the darkest time in my life and for that i will never forgive you i always was there for you

reminding myself that every door I open is also an exit

maybe i already turned away what i needed

all i want is real love ever since i can remember everything else  is a byproduct of trying to find this nothing else has ever mattered

idk why this is so hard for me

i showed u sylvia plath for her head in the oven
not her words i youtubed hunter s thompson for the ashes in a cannon not the drug use

god is just a memory where you need her to be

idk if i can take this anymore

everyone can love and respect you in the world and it means nothing if the one you want too doesnt see it

i love you sorry about all this mess

what is the purpose of anything
with everything that is dying

terrible

no one will ever see u how u want to be seen

I dont trust anyone

starting to believe love does not exist

u ask someone please tell me the truth
they lie to you
and thats all there is

week 1 constant intense ***
week 2 slightly dimished
week three effort dissapears
conversation changes
everyone else is of higher importance
because u have alreay overcame the challenges and claimed what you fought for
texts dissapear
*** dissapears
except for in the movie in their eyes everytime another challenge walks by
and u are alone now together
dreaming of sleeping with other people
for the rest of your life

starting to believe in none of this is real

i see u just slide by
like nothing ever happend
like years never happend
like i never showed u life when you were empty
like u never took from me any chance of living right

nothing is eternal

it all changes in the morning
what i was is gone
u need to embrace reality

u know nothing about me

i know things i cant tell u
if i tell u its on me and
i will never let it be that way

change your password
keep to yourself

u dont even know me
or make the effort