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anastasia Jul 2018
how
“i can’t stop smiling”

you said
we were walking
to your house
from a spot
you just showed me
which i already know
will be my favorite place
in the world
cause it overlooked our town
and it’s where you asked me
tobe your girlfriend

“you’re really my girlfriend”

you said, in awe
i really was
and i really wanted to be

“you’re a dork”

i replied, anxious

“well i’m your dork now”

said you
and i blushed
i was smiling too
i felt so happy
to now have you

and from then
i would catch you smiling
at me
laying in your bed
or in my passenger seat
you would say
the sweetest things
and play with the hair
on my head
and i could always see
the excitement
that sparked
in your eyes
when i would come over
just to waste some time
with you
by my side

so how did you do it?
how did you leave
so easily?
did it mean nothing
to you
when it meant everything
to me?
anastasia Jun 2018
i’m trying
to fall in love
again
but your touch
still haunts me
and your voice
still chills me

we talked
and we talked
about our new lovers
and our past
and you said some things
i wish i felt the same

you don’t know
and maybe
you never will
but i’m sure you’ll hear
i doubt my ability
to love again
in the ways i loved you
in fact
i doubt that i ever stopped
loving you

do you feel the same?
do you remember the promise we made?
would it be insane
if you knew these things?

i don’t know
but i’m sure soon enough
sober thoughts
will become drunken words
and you’ll hear my pain
and maybe then
i’ll find out
if you feel the same way
anastasia Jun 2018
ugh
i know
i am hard to love
but you
do not know
and now
you’ll never know
how hard i love
when i love
anastasia Jun 2018
sometimes
my morning coffee
tastes like you
then the feelings
rush back
like we just met
yesterday
anastasia Jun 2018
your fingertips
on my skin
like soft sunlight
kissing the seas

my fingers
through your hair
like gentle wind
amongst bumble bees

but my heart
you broke
like cracking thunder
through the breeze

you felt so calm
but you left
my skin grew cold
like storm-broken trees
anastasia Jun 2018
a fool i was
to think of you
as different
to have expected
a fairytale
but i guess those
only happen once
anastasia Jun 2018
again
i had false hope
but i really thought
it’d be different this time

again
i gave too much
came off too strong
and scared you away

again
i thought you were true
but you liked the idea
not the reality of me
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