officially going off the deep end
into a dark city where they tend
to only have two choices

feel the pain or drown in drugs
keeping warm at night with a hug
from a complete stranger

whilst you might still feel the pain
at least you're numb, though not sane
from the thoughts haunting

state your name
read the sentence
"today I am happy."
Say it again
Say it again

state your name
read in between the lines
"today I am happy."
analyze it
analyze it again

state your name
don't read it,
just stare at the space in between
the letters.

Maybe it’s because I like to watch the sun rise

Maybe it’s because it reminds me of your eyes

Maybe it’s because I don’t do well with the dark

Maybe it’s because I can’t sleep without your arms

But perhaps it could be the calm sounds of the city streets

Or the emptiness I feel in between my sheets

Watching a new day be born again and again

Hoping this day could maybe have a different end?

Or perhaps it could just be my mind choosing this time

To routinely overthink, becoming trapped inside these rhymes.

dearest casual *** partner,

the surprise doesn't surprise me anymore
the short texts just don't cut it
and I'm tired of my heart feeling sore.

your habits are starting to annoy me
your body has started to change
you're pathetic and I wish you'd see

I'm over being scared to get personal
I'm over the immaturity of your brain
your presence is not good nor educational

so guess what, I'm not answering this time
you're not dragging me through depression again
take this as a warning, take this as a sign
to finally get your **** together,
refine.

mind running faster than the words can escape my mouth

   so

I just sit there

listening and looking at you.

Your room is a mess,
Your mind is high,
And I'm yours for the night.

Your touch is mesmerizing,
Your passion is surprising,
This night is different than the rest.

Your sentences hide things,
But your body is honest,
Though the morning is no different.

I'm used to your nature,
I'm used to your vibe,
Just thought it could be different this time.

this is the longest I've gone without talking to you
and I feel renewed, me again, and happy
but you sent me videos of you with past people today
and it got me wondering, because I used to think,
you were the one who moved on faster, but no
now it makes sense, because you
you used to think I moved on fast
did you get a girlfriend to try and move on faster?
to try and be the first one because you knew,
I'd eventually be just fine without you?
I hope your strategy works because I'm not coming,
back to you.