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August Feb 2013
All the water in the world couldn't drown my sorrows.
August Aug 2013
'Come to the water,'
he said.

The water will save her,
he thought.

The waves will surround her,
they would.

Enveloped by catharis,
was it an option?

She would have ended up drowning,
in a river of emotions.

She realized that as she backed away,
filled with fear.

The rushing of the water,
wasn't something she wanted to hear.

And she dried up in the sun,
like a leaf, fallen.

And he added his tears to the brook,
*sobbing for his desert lover.
Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Mar 2014
Listless lovers under the covers, turned away from one another

They were knotted together as soon as their heart strings brushed

The fire that was dancing on the sheets simmering to a small ember

Eyes cast to the walls while ardent fingers pick at their unkempt bind

Shadows that once crossed merrily cower in the corner of the room

They wait patiently for one to grab the scissors off the bedside table

And to cut the tangled strands.
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Dec 2012
I've never dreamt
Of people that I love
So when you ask me if I dreamt about you
I didn't want to tell you yes.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Mar 2013
Crystalline shards, we are what we choose to be..
                                                            ­                            .
                                   ­                                                   .      .
     ­                                                                 ­               f     .                                                                ­                      
                                                                ­                        .   r
                                                               ­                    .   a      .
                                                                ­                           g .
                                                               ­                         m
                                      ­                                               .         e .
                                                               ­                   .  n        t    
                                                                ­                        s  .
                                    ­                                                       .
                                                               ­                       .
                                        ­                                                    .
           ­                                                                 ­        .         .
                                                               ­                           .
                                    ­                                                 .
                                                                ­                         .
                                                               ­                       .I'll  .
                                                        ­                        end up in      .
                                                       ­                     crumpled heap
                                                                ­     .  .   at my own feet.. ..
© Amara Pendergraft 2013

I'm sorry that I'm not significant enough, I'm sorry that all I do is cause pain, I'm sorry for a lot of things, I suppose.
August Oct 2012
3 inches of dust
Coat my nails
Been so long
Since I’ve
Caressed
The golden waves
Stiffened wrists
Cardiac arrest
From ocean eyes
Depths unknowing
Only paper to guide
A pale hand
Towards a wizened tree
That used to scream
Songs so lovely
Core is rotted
Pesticides poisoned
Blood giving life
Through the roots
But not the right kind of life
The dead kind of life
Bounty dead
An innocent deer at the base
Her throat slit
And an arrow through her eye
The taste of salt
Still on her tongue
Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Mar 2014
Little cunning foxes jumping over bushes,
              slaughtering the sheep I have been counting in my sleep.

I hand-pick plump raspberries while I watch the foxes
              rip out their throats, all of our lips stained red & ******.

My hazy sepia toned dream shimmers as I sit in the grass,
              sipping on a glass of arsenic laced strawberry lemonade.

The cool sun hugs my skin and my collarbones
              that jut and cut my finger as I brush a hair off my shoulder.

I look down at the pin ***** absentmindedly and glance
              at my foxes as their black eyes gaze upon me wildly.

Magenta stained muzzles set in stone as they begin to roam
              surrounding the circumference of my skirt, snapping their jaws.

Ebony teeth tearing me like cloth, jerking my body like
              a frail little rag doll dancing with these fiendish, lovely beasts.

They leave me quietly, bones picked nearly clean, waiting now
               for flowers to bloom in my hollow chest and my empty eyes.
Amara Pendergraft 2014

“People never like me and I never like people,’ she thought. ‘And I never can talk as the other children could. They were always talking and laughing and making noises.”
August Oct 2012
I'm a self-pity king
No feeling in my left wing
I don't like it when you sing
My soul is the only thing
I wish you wouldn't sing...
August Nov 2012
Stretched out lobes                                  Clumped up makeup                                
I tug on them in the mirror                     I swipe some with my finger
I know I'll regret them later                    It shows the days wear & tear
But today isn't tomorrow                        Though that wasn't it's purpose      
And I'm not sorry                                     Meant to hide yesterday's worries

Sallow eyes                                                Fringe bangs gone amiss
I see them growing deeper                     My hair matches how I feel
Time grabs on them                                  No direction or intention
With pale cruel hands                              A mass of brown & blonde
Yet they are ever welcome                      Without a single purpose
I hate looking at myself before I lay down.

© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Feb 2013
A cupid with a golden head
A smile on his angelic face
I had to shoot him dead
Before he put me in my place

Because I've been a bad girl
I haven't loved the way I should
My paper heart began to curl
I burned it so no one else could

But in the laws of love and lust
Such things are punishable by the death
He was sent to arrow the unjust
But I was waiting, eager breath by breath

Sitting in a rose garden, quietly debating
His light foots steps began to ring
Every move I was anticipating
He reached for his bow, as I drew the string

And I killed him with his own arrow
A shot right through the head,
I've never had to love again
As soon as I shot the cupid dead
© Amara Pendergraft 2013

Happy Valentine's Day.
August Oct 2012
Masterfully sculpted
Delicately made
The eye that passed
Over your creation
Is the one I'd love
To know
August Mar 2013
Leather bound book called "Soliloquy"
With a red, beating center
Embossed green leather stamped with leaves
A novel without any beginning, no end,
My pages turned over , worn at the edges
But never actually really read
A stranger with cool fingers
Runs his hand down my spine
Sending shivers
Making my words inside me quiver
He is light
With dark rimmed eyes
Taking me right
Towards his location
I'm gravitating
But I'm not map
And I've never been good at navigating
I'm loosing him as he,
He glances,
But he puts me back
His dark stature and old eyes now uninterested
I'm panicking
I'm becoming frantic
You are fading
Like my ink
Stay! We have something in common!
I feel my edges yearn for him
Dog ear me to your heart's desire!
I'll let you bleach me sunny!
He's walking away,
Please!
Let you stay...
And mend my paper
He's gone
And I settle back down
On my wooden shelf
I breathe in the disturbed dust
Sit in the still air
These chance occurrences
Leave the possibility
Of one day being really read
The shelf life is the hell life
© Amara Pendergraft 2013

My deepest apologies for the lengthiness of this.
August Nov 2012
Sentimental mentality
She kept
She tossed away all of the things
People say
Her motto being none and
None alike
August Nov 2012
Let me do you justice with my words.
I'm forever tortured with the urge.
To glorify you with every letter.
To make you, in my mind,
Even better.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Nov 2012
The is my commune.
This is my sanctum.
It's transforming into something solid.
Somehow, the back cracks before it's due.
And I'm left with this twisted image of you.
My oh my.
How you have grown.
This body is something that you have never know.
You'll walk on my shadows and I suppose that I'll tug you along.
Churning masses that never happen.
I don't want you to stay here, but where would you go?
I'm not sure how to respond to this repertoire, this power play of sort.
I do what I do best, I'll turn my back on yours.
I'll fold you up and tie you to a carrier pigeon's leg, let it take you away.
The bag lady will feed you in the city park.
You'll cluck and duck like the rest of them.
Naked on the cold cement sidewalks eating bird food with your tiny little beak.
No one will see you but me.
And I don't care.
I'll jog right past your groveling hands.
You won't remember me, I'll be a dream in some forgotten land.
Go hide your head under your wings.
The dove that is the loudest, isn't always the most lovely when he sings.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jan 2013
I'd love to taste some lips
Graze my hips
And kiss my fingertips
Be my tether
Float me like feather
Make me better
And I'll let you keep me
*Forever
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Nov 2012
I'm not much for conversation
Not so much so in this place
But if you could see my face
And I could see yours too
We'd get a long much better
Without typing all these letters
Person to person conversation
Is something I'd much prefer
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
Sometimes,
I feel the urge
To fall in love again.
Then, I think,
better not.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Jan 2013
The only time I wake up in the morning,
                    when the alarm rings,
                                is when I never woke up,
                                              because I never slept the night before.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August May 2014
I miss you when nights are cold,
While the fire is breathing on my face,
And I can't stand to feel the trace
Of your skin on mine.
I feel so old.

To remove your fingertips,
Bury myself in the glowing embers,
Scorch any trace of you off
My blackened burns.
*I only wish.
Amara Pendergraft 2014

I've been trying so hard to be good again.
August Feb 2013
I BROKE my wrist
Snapped it like a TWIG
So I couldn't wave AWAY
The THINGS that they don't say
I'm being FORGOTTEN again
I'm trying to turn my HEAD
But it SNAPS along too
I'm a crumpled HEAP
Of TEARS and BONES
NO STICKS, NO STONES
I CAN'T look away
I can't BRUSH away
That they don't say anything
That I'm being forgotten, *again
August Nov 2012
She has stars stitched into her clothes
Her actions reflect no deity or moral
Her eyes drink up the world
And everything
Belongs
In
Her
Palm
August Apr 2013
While you were gone,
          I was dreaming fantastic dreams,
                    that make you seem,
             ordinary.

And in these dreams,
                        So it seems,
                             I met the ocean deep below,
      He grabbed me hold and told me he'd never let me go.

Why choose land when you can have the sea?
                        I'm just a summer's breeze
                             Rippling the water occasionally
    But he admired my company (that's enough for me)

So I'm diving into the deep dark blue
                   To the parts of him no one knew
                           Purely encompassed in wavy conversation
    The shivery conversations made of vibrations

*"And I asked myself about the present:
                  how wide it was,  
                                         how deep it was,  
       how much was mine to keep."
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Oct 2012
Block the flow
Fill up the banquet
With a feast fit for a rich man
Lean the pole into the ground
Silence only for a moment
Eagerness fills the air
Sickly sweet and bitter
Push it toward the core
Hitting the stream
Is not as hard as it used to be
But the longing is harder
A geyser of icy water
Hot juice intertwining with chilly liquid
Causing an explosion of endorphins
Destroying in an array of colors
It doesn't get any better than this
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August May 2013
A thin sheen of
                  night sky
                                      covers my skin, my
                                                           fingertips,
                                                                ­                    as I run my
                                                              ­                                    hands
Down the literary
                       parts
                                     of what stars wish
                                                            ­ to be...
                                                                ­              something only meant
                                                                ­                                        for you &
                                                                ­                                                    *me
© Amara Pendergraft 2013

I feel so alone.
August Mar 2013
I'll miss you
But most of all,
I'll miss how I was,
When I was,
With you.

Before you left,
Running away,
From the memory,
Of me,
And who you were.

May the light,
Of the morning sky,
Be tinged on,
Your eyes,
*Be filled with longing.
© Amara Pendergraft

The two that mattered most have been lost.
August Jan 2013
Raw
Tender
Exposed
Paranormal
Spectre spectacle
Nearly translucent
Wearing a little
Black dress
Oh so lovely,
Nice black stockings
Pale as a little
Ghosty
I'm ever fading
Please,
Pull me back
Into a place
Called 'tangible'
Oh no.
My eyes
Widen with fear
As I disappear
*whoosh
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Mar 2016
You are your whole universe
Infinite & complex
With vast space for
What makes you to reside

Although your broadness can
Feel empty, too extensive & lonely
You are limitless, boundless,
Imperfectly organized chaos

Let yourself surround you,
     But never drown you.
August Dec 2012
I admire that you want something to believe in
And I respect that you have set higher standards
Who am I to put you down for your opinions?
If we step on each other, than we deserve to be
Stepped **On
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Oct 2013
I'm helpless to a man with light in his eyes
And a hop to his step with a glimmering smile
Who is good with his words but better with his skin
Making contact as letters fall off his lips

Before I've seen them passing in the street
But never being drawn to me
In hush posh libraries and little coffee shops
Yet someone so bright usually doesn't notice something so lost

Because in reality, I'm an awkward little lady
Full of doubt, depth, and charcoaled sadly shady
I don't know much on how to touch, not well
Someone to teach me how each letter fell

But I won't say a word, not even one
The longing in my eyes should be enough
Pushing the brims of my lonely self to it's extent
Aside everyone as they twirl and mix and vent

Yearning for some light,
I know for certain so,
If I met a man like that,
Surely I would go.
Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Dec 2012
Beauty is but a construction
               Of our mind.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Nov 2012
Buy me clothing, man of mine
Dress me up
And dress me down

Take me to see the lights
Swish me away
And give me up

Bite your lip and cluck your tongue
Let me be
And I'm not young
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Feb 2013
You must create something elaborate
Twirling your fingers around like ribbons
Weaving together magic and wonder
Gliding gracefully, this is your stage
You are alone in the light, with yourself
Wearing robes of imagination & frivolity
Sliding across, dancing a beautiful dance
You're not paying attention, swallowed by your mind
You don't notice what is slowly creeping from behind
Dark robed figures inching up towards your back
So many, with masks of clay and paper mache
Painted ****** red and black
With hollow eyes and hunched over spines
Each with a grisly word painted on their chests
Each reads something different, something awful
You have to keep yourself busy or you begin to crumble
So you don't notice what they say, you don't see them


     Life
         Poverty        Religion  
             Time                             Anxiety    
       Destitution                                         Fear  
           Loathing                                                        R­eality  
            Age                                         ­                                   Conscious  
         Bitterness        They circle around you             Critique  
          Past                        As you twirl               Loneliness  
      Depression                                    ­        Insanity  
          Hunger                              ­Intoxication  
   Emotion           Death  
        No Hope  

You never see it coming.
And you are swallowed whole
A
DARK
DOWNWARD
SPIRAL
BADUMP
BADUMP
BA­DUMP
The only sound
Your heart beating
AS THEY CLASP THEIR BLACK HANDS
AROUND IT & TUG YOU
DOWN
DOWN
DOWN
down
down
d
o
w
*n
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Sep 2014
It's three a.m. & I am not asleep

How could I close my eyes to nights like these?

When thunder rumbles my ribcage and breathes an ache into my chest

Where water droplets drip onto my thoughts & liquefy them

Lightning coursing through my shaking veins

Every strike echoing & electrifying my brain

Chilly breaths that creep along my skin, serenading it

My cigarette with every pull more luminant

I've circumvented myself into side effects of hopelessness

The sounds of rain stripping me softly into submissive erosion..
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Nov 2012
I'm day dreaming
About dreaming
As you read this
I don't have anything
But doe eyes
Filling my face
Imagine me
The white blare
Is shining on me
And I can't sleep
Tonight is one of those
Talk to me
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Apr 2013
I'm not cold enough to collect lovers like shiny objects.

Yet, I'm not warm enough to keep one close, funny.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Aug 2014
I oftentimes find myself compensating for my creation

As if merely existing is an extraordinarily enormous insult in itself

And my reason for living is to repeatedly apologize for breathing

Because the space I am apart of isn't and never will be where I am wanted
Amara Pendergraft 2014
August Jan 2013
crack
falling*
The winter dries you out.
The winter ties you down.
It takes away your warmth.
It wants you to drown.
The frozen sheet above your head.
The way your fingers bled.
Your fingernails scratching the ice.
Worn to wounds, sinking like lead
A fatal breath, nothing now is dry
Widened fear fills your eye
The current gives one final tug
Your hair waves goodbye & then you die
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Jan 2013
Hand rolled cigs
This music is ****
My red lips
You're pure grit
Grind it out
In the ash
Pick off
Another lash
Flick your eye
Before you go
Grab my hand
And let me know
Seems so long ago.

© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Nov 2012
Feeling singled out by them
Not allowed to celebrate Christmas with them
Not allowed to say bless you to them
Living alone when the 'rapture' takes them
Sleeping in on Sunday morning without them
Them
them
them
them
What about me?
My parents refuse to accept my lack of religion.

© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
The world
Ended
We all
Died
And we
Don't even
Realize it
This is
Hell
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Dec 2012
When I stand in the sun without makeup
You can see my tiny little purple veins
Like spiderwebs splashed on my eyelids
My pupils are almost as big as the world
And I can see all that it is, all that was
But not all that it is going to be
But I can see,
Oh, baby,
I can see
Standing around and watch people pass
Casually resting on a handrail by the library
They all have worries & cares & no one cares
About any cares but their own, they pretend
I blink my eyes and the world shifts
I can see it shift,
Oh, baby,
I can see it shift.
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Mar 2013
Help me take on this world of woe
I know I can't do it on my own
While people are fading and changing
I'm a permanent fixture, watching, waiting
Run your fingers down my back to keep me fixed
Eradicate my distractions with every kiss
And I'll put my hands to your face
I won't waste this precious space
I think we can do this if we are strong.
Standing in the middle of this surging throng.
© Amara Pendergraft 2013
August Apr 2013
It's funny,
Ever since I met you,
My bed feels so empty.
And I'm laying here,
In an oversized shirt,
And nothing else.
Smelling of soap and skin.
Wishing to taste your lips.
To rub my cheek against yours.
Breathe in every breath you take.
And I've never even seen your face.

*The Dusk
© Amara Pendergraft
August Oct 2012
This is a story I created for my 5 year old niece.

During the old times, things were not as they are now.  Dangerous monsters lurked around every corner doing the ***** deeds of the gods. The innocents had no protection. Only their own wits could keep them living another day.
Such was so for Elephant, he was one of the most intelligent of all the animals in the forest. He was large and grey, wizened with age. He had dark eyes, full of knowing. He had a strong face, with a large round nose. He was the guard of the forest, a scholar, and he could even read, unlike so many of his predecessors. He protected the innocent animals from the evil ones who meant them harm. The gods envied his intellect. They were afraid that it surpassed their own.  They wanted the innocents to be consumed by their minions, the dangerous monsters that lurked around the outside of the protection circle.
They devised a plan to destroy Elephant once and for all. They got their scariest, meanest, largest, most determined beast to do their bidding. The Mushika, some called him “The Mouse”. The Mushika had never been seen before, he had only been a whiff of a rumor found in children’s stories. He was said to be as large as the biggest trees, as mean as all of the god’s combined, and as powerful as the forest itself.
The god’s were able to convince the Mushika to do their bidding, by promising to make him even larger, meaner, and more powerful than he already was. He agreed and began his journey towards the innocents’ home where Elephant stood ready to protect and defend.
Elephant could feel it in the wind that something was coming. He read the leaves on the water to be sure. He knew that danger was almost on them and prepared for battle. He stood quietly, his eyes slowly moving from trunk to trunk. The wind blew slightly, ruffling his long ears. Then, THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. It seemed as if the whole forest quaked. Far away, trees began to fall to the left and to the right. Slowly, it got closer and closer. Until the Elephant could see a looming white beast with red eyes, a pink nose, round ears, a long pink tail, and a massive body.
He roared, “Elephant, I have a bone to pick with you!!” Elephant’s face was calm as he stepped forward. The Mouse lunged stepping on the Elephant’s trunk. Elephant howled in pain, jerking and tossing away from the Mushika’s massive foot. The Mushika persisted, realizing that he had made Elephant utterly defenseless. He opened his giant mouth, full of sharp teeth, about to swallow Elephant whole.
Elephant’s eyes filled with fear, then sharp determination. He mustered all of his strength together and made one final, gigantic tug. His round nose stretched and stretched and stretched, then popped out from underneath the mouse’s foot. He realized he was free, and wasn’t focused on how his nose had become elongated. He shoved with all of his might against the Mushika who was very startled sending him back against the trees. The Mushika had been knocked out.
Elephant called out to the innocents, “Family! We must flee now before this mouse wakes up. We must go where not even the God’s can find us!” All of the innocents came out of their huts.
One of the children, Giraffe, asked, “What happened to your nose?”
Elephant replied, “It has been stretched out, but do not worry. I am fine. We must go now!”
So all of the animals packed their things and went to a hiding place. Elephant realized he could grip things with his new nose. He picked up a giant rock and began to crack the ground away from the rest of the forest. It broke off and floated away, millions of galaxies away. They decided to call this place Earth. So that was how Earth became.
Later on, when the Mushika woke up, the gods were waiting for him. “You have failed your mission, therefore you must be punished,” they said in unison. The mouse quivered as they began chanting strange words. Slowly his size diminished to the size of an apple. He squeaked, no longer able to roar. The god’s laughed, snapping their fingers. The Mushika was suddenly on Earth, where his dreadful enemy was. The Mushika had been stripped of his mighty name and put into unfamiliar territory with no allies. Forever to be called Mouse, never to be able to defend himself again.
Elephant knew that Mouse had been punished for loosing their battle, yet he was still terrified that he would change back into that horrible beast. He feared Mouse the rest of his life, and told all of his family to fear him as well. This story explains why the elephant’s trunk is so long, why mice are so small, and why such a large animal as the elephant is scared of such a small animal as the mouse.
August Feb 2013
Weary brittle bone
Shuffling feet
To the beat
Of the dial tone

Smoke sticks
Full of cancer
Ride in enhancers
Of death for kicks

Tantalize our skin
With jewels and lust
Always a must
Going again & again

Testing ourselves
Wanting stories
Can get gory
Tearing books from their shelves

*I''ll never stop
August Jun 2013
I don't know where I'm going.
                             are you drifting from me?


And I know where I would like to be.
                                                   the tide is coming in..


So, this is how it ends.
                      and now the water is at your feet.


Is this what drowning is like?
                                     the ocean is in your eyes, no turning back now..


I'll stand at the shore.
                     *but you are already floatimg away.
© Amara Pendegraft 2013
August Dec 2012
It's not hard
To find people
Who party
Like it's still 1991
There will always
Be the girls
Who get
Decked out
Get drunk
And pick fights
Guys who flirt
With your skin
On the dance floor
Who take you
To their place
Showing you
Something
You've never known
There will always
Be additives
That make you
Have a great night
Or send you crashing
Without any hope
Of holding on
People take the ride
And it spits them
Out like chewed up
Sunflower carcasses
To live is to be
Free, they say
You give a bird
Too much fly room
And he'll wear
Out his wings
You can dream
About the ***
You'll have
And the girls you'll
never meet
But after all of
The drinking
The smoking
The good time
You still go home
And you still lay in
Your bed
And you still get up
In the morning
With a hangover
And you still feel
Like you are the
Only person
Like you
And you still
Want to be able
To sit around
Without having to
Think about
How lonely you
Really are
Even though
Every night,
You felt like
You were
A exploding
Star
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
August Mar 2014
The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me; so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.
I would just like to share with my extremely amazing community of writers and dreamers one of my inspirations and my favorite poets of all time. Please enjoy.
August Dec 2012
Swing low,
Sweet chariot
Swoop my heart
Into your arms
And warm
It up enough
To start it
Beating again
© Amara Pendergraft 2012
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