When I was little,
I used to light fireworks
Now I find myself,
Lighting cigarettes
And I'm developing
All of these bad habits
Your tongue is in her mouth
And you take photos
Go away
Happiness is meant for you
I think I'll just stay here.

I took a trip to the moon last night
Sitting in the leather booth
Smoking a cigarette
And drinking diner coffee
And while I was riding
In the light blue truck
I stuck my hand out of the window
I closed my eyes
And I took a really long drag
And I knew,
That no matter what happened
I was going to be alright
And that I was going to live my
Life
And it was going to be *******
Amazing.

I've never dreamt
Of people that I love
So when you ask me if I dreamt about you
I didn't want to tell you yes.

You do not go to a house
Where things are practiced
To not practice them
What would be the point
Of going to that house
To sit there and not do anything
So, when you say, we should go
As a family
Even though not all of us feel
That the house is the right place
To be
That is false,
Because family does things
Together
With LOVE.
Not force.

Don't write me a song
I know you hope that
This will last long
But I told you
From the start, I did,
That I wasn't looking for anything
But another friend

No please,
Don't touch me
Not with your hands
And not with your eyes
I've practiced
Sitting in my rooms
For hours
Imagining that I could take it
To have someone
Touch my arm
Or brush their hand
Against my cheek
It makes me shiver
My blood run cold
At the possibility
Of it turning black
And poisoning everything

Brazen collarbones
Alabaster dream
Jutting out like little wings
Pouty grin
Ready to fire quicker
Than any takers
Girl, you sit there,
And I can tell
You want to watch
Men burn

Plastered on the ceiling
Mind is always reeling
I don't like this feeling
Watching you stealing
Oh, you're so appealing
What are you revealing?

Introverted.
The doctor says I'm broken.
Possible to not have a ******?
Guess it never developed.
Like my sense of humour.
Ha ha.
I guess I won't share my horror stories.
No babies in my stomach.
No child with matching hazel eyes.
Making things even more complicated.
Forced to be celibate by my body.
Doctor appointments needed.
Glad I never tried.
It would have hurt that much more.
Dysfunctional is an understatement.
I can't provide anything,
But my mind.
And even I don't want that.

Charlotte Caron
Where have you gone?
You must have run away.
The men you date,
You are half their age
And yet you make them
Marmalade

The thing about poetry, and anything for that matter that you create, is that it's never inadequate. As long as you write, or paint, or create music, or whatever with love and the actual want to do it, not just because it is socially likeable, is okay. Everyone's poetry is equal in completely different ways. Mine is not better than yours and yours is not better than mine type of mentality goes a long way. Because there isn't a way to compare them, because they are sole entities by themselves, as long as you put purpose into them. So, that automatically destroys the possibility of yours not being good enough. Because it is good enough, because you made it, and you meant it when you made it. Only a fool would tell you that your work isn't good enough for that exact reason.

I can see the buildings wrapped in cellophane
And the people crammed in their freezers
We are living in a pre-packaged world

Everything used to be planted and tended
And people grew out of ground like ivy

Savory tendrils of steam waft out like hands,
Pulling my face inches & inches closer to the brim.
The pressure of the top & the bottom eyelid closing
Lips curling into a small smile, pulling at the cheeks
The aroma twisting around tongue and teeth and brain
Slight tilt back of head, the cold porcelain on your fingers
Gripped a little tighter, tip with anticipation
Don't dive in, just let a little slide down
Warmth throughout your body

When my body used to ache at night
Feeling like bruises were beneath the skin
You'd tell me it was the tickle monster
I'd ask if you were friends with him
And you would nod your head
And I'd say
'could you give him a message for me?'
And you'd say
'well, i can try, but he doesn't like to listen'
I'd ask you to ask him if he could let up at least for one night
Take away all the pain I feel inside my body
And you would put your hand over my eyes
And say 'he'll receive your question'
You'd kiss my lips and tug me closer
Then the next night I'd sleep better
You took your ability when you packed
And left me to deal with a tickle monster
It's funny how we pretend that things exist
To make the pain a little duller
And now my skin aches again as if I've been hit
By a million crashing waves and bodies
And I lay awake and whisper
'Please, receive my message, I don't have a messenger'
'But I'm begging you, I need you now more than ever'
'Your friend has gone, and he left me alone too'
'I guess it's just me & you'
Me & the tickle monster.

Stretched out lobes                                  Clumped up makeup                                
I tug on them in the mirror                     I swipe some with my finger
I know I'll regret them later                    It shows the days wear & tear
But today isn't tomorrow                        Though that wasn't it's purpose      
And I'm not sorry                                     Meant to hide yesterday's worries

Sallow eyes                                                Fringe bangs gone amiss
I see them growing deeper                     My hair matches how I feel
Time grabs on them                                  No direction or intention
With pale cruel hands                              A mass of brown & blonde
Yet they are ever welcome                      Without a single purpose

A* chiffon floral blouse
Torn to pieces on the floor
Aside a girl as delicate as a flower
Curled around a pillow
Her petals ripped *away

Buy me clothing, man of mine
Dress me up
And dress me down

Take me to see the lights
Swish me away
And give me up

Bite your lip and cluck your tongue
Let me be
And I'm not young

A heavy heart
And a heavier head
With a gentle hand
And soulful eyes
Is all I need
In a guy

This weekend at another heavy metal show
Your existence had been many times doubted
But there your were, as solid and sharp
As the black spot in my chest
Your tall grandeur and dark rimmed eyes
The yellow stain between your middle & pointer finger
Your eyes flicked towards my face,
A tiny smirk was yours to gain
I'd seen that look before a million times
I used to even miss it
Laugh and sling your arm around another friend
I turned away and tugged my collar
High against my cheekbones
Stepping out into the cold,
The thumping said goodbye
In another time, another place,
I'm glad we're not together

I'm not much for conversation
Not so much so in this place
But if you could see my face
And I could see yours too
We'd get a long much better
Without typing all these letters
Person to person conversation
Is something I'd much prefer

Make a list
Wish I missed
Just another day

Check off one
Don't get it done
Tell myself I did

Blink my eyes
Filled with cries
Of just another day

I'll make a memorandum
Out of my paper heart
An effervescent manifold
It's all together too thin
I'll make a memorandum
To remind me that tantalizing  
Beings reside among all pages
And that they are all extremely  
**Tangible

Baby lips
Baby lips
Baby lips
Frozen tips
Shoes with three holes
Right on the soles
Cardigan
Again and
Again and
Again

Let me do you justice with my words.
I'm forever tortured with the urge.
To glorify you with every letter.
To make you, in my mind,
Even better.

Walking in.
In hand, a pink/brown suitcase.
Wearing an orca suit.
Doesn't matter why.
Dark auditorium.
Millions of thumb faces.
Smudged away by the painter.
Stumbling up and down the seats.
Sitting in one.
Getting Up
Moving to another.
All of the sudden in the front row.
Watching the spectacle.
At hand & on stage.
Too bright to actually see.
Just a white sun spot.
Then everyone is waiting.
Women are called on stage.
They are beautiful.
One by one they step up.
The wood floor is worn & polished.
And then they say my name.
And I stand up.
I'm in a tight red dress.
I tip toe to the stage.
All the thumb faces are silent.
Relaxed & unfocused.
I stand there, feeling the end of a joke.
And they clap and we smile.
I'm in between Ellen and Madonna.
Suddenly, every one is gone.
And we leave the stage.
Behind the scene.
Everything is concrete.
Obsolete.
Madonna looks at me.
And I feel myself swallow any hope,
Of an ego.
Eradicated, I know she thinks I'm nothing.
I run to the small bathroom mirror.
My two front teeth are gapped.
Bent inward.
Tears spills out from my eyes and down my face.
I run into the alley and look around.
I remember I left my suitcase where I was sitting.
Back at my seat, everyone is gone.
My suitcase is open and empty.
All my clothes are mixed up with things on the floor.
I slowly gather them.
As the the janitor man applies lipstick,
The movie star mirror looking back.
I walk to the front.
Heels clicking.
A man with long black hair is waiting.
'Why didn't you get my suitcase?'
'I don't know.'

Light spills on the floor.
It's bright and clean and fresh.
The cold sheets are feathery on my back.
I bury my head deep into the pillows.
My toes curl and uncurl lightly.
I collapse in with a breath of air.
The bed is an infinite landscape.
Just my cheeks tucked between covers.
Layers and layers of light cotton.
And a feeling wells up inside of my chest.
I want to share this with another human being.

Teddy Roosevelt would be proud of how you held your head
Higher than the food as you spilled out all your cares onto it
And your companion whisked it away, what a lovely one she is
You clambered up the highest mountain to get to a waterfall
That cleansed away all of you mistakes and you went to sleep
With the awful whiskey taste still in your mouth and a vow
To never again

I'm standing at the kitchen sink
The curtains are yellow and white
The light is cast on my face
As my eyes drag towards you
And a laugh tumbles out
It's without my blessing
And your teeth show from ear to ear
One tumble leads to another
Like a lady gymnast
And now we are tumbling together
The slap of your hands
They are greeting the kitchen table
I'm doubled over with happiness
And we just keep meeting
Over and over again
The linoleum is dented
With a million footsteps
Where we danced together
Twirling like a ribbon girl
Where I stirred the batter
That made your burnt birthday cake
And I'm barren, unable to conceive
But, we are each others babies
Our crib is each others arms
You take me as I am
Like the ugly wallpaper
In the upstairs bathroom

I'm day dreaming
About dreaming
As you read this
I don't have anything
But doe eyes
Filling my face
Imagine me
The white blare
Is shining on me
And I can't sleep
Tonight is one of those
Talk to me

I'm death in Doc Martens.
With mint green fingers.
Louis Armstrong hold me down.
This is going to be a long winter.

I can't sleep
He's sleeping away
The next day
Is the same game
I'm not a plain Jane
Am I
Oh, I am
So, the next day
Is the same
As the day lays
Awake
I'm awake too
I don't want to be
The bear
With the name harmony
Sits on the bed
Laying
Empty
Arms
Of a girl who doesn't
Want to hold it

The elderly man on the bike
His beard wrapped around his front wheel
His eyes are as shifty as his breaks
He wonders at the breaths that he takes

There isn't much that turns these wheels
But there is plenty that can turn these heels
I think the sympathy packed up its tiny suitcase
It grew tired of my wasted face
And I don't think I'm lonely without it
I'm not much of a compassionate
Never was

Even the girls at the diner agree
They can see
Behind these black eyelashes
There isn't anything in me
That would make a man's
Cheeks rosy
I can't be cozy
I don't need company

Babe, I **** time with a dagger
But believe me, it isn't as fun
As it was killing time with you

Feeling singled out by them
Not allowed to celebrate Christmas with them
Not allowed to say bless you to them
Living alone when the 'rapture' takes them
Sleeping in on Sunday morning without them
Them
them
them
them
What about me?

Opposite spin
Smiling chagrin
Drudging eyeballs
Standing so tall
Feelin' ******
Livin' gritty
New 'ork City

I'll put down my orange colored pencil
And I'll order a thousand boxes
Then eat a bite out of my bowl

The is my commune.
This is my sanctum.
It's transforming into something solid.
Somehow, the back cracks before it's due.
And I'm left with this twisted image of you.
My oh my.
How you have grown.
This body is something that you have never know.
You'll walk on my shadows and I suppose that I'll tug you along.
Churning masses that never happen.
I don't want you to stay here, but where would you go?
I'm not sure how to respond to this repertoire, this power play of sort.
I do what I do best, I'll turn my back on yours.
I'll fold you up and tie you to a carrier pigeon's leg, let it take you away.
The bag lady will feed you in the city park.
You'll cluck and duck like the rest of them.
Naked on the cold cement sidewalks eating bird food with your tiny little beak.
No one will see you but me.
And I don't care.
I'll jog right past your groveling hands.
You won't remember me, I'll be a dream in some forgotten land.
Go hide your head under your wings.
The dove that is the loudest, isn't always the most lovely when he sings.