Olivia W

Olivia W Aug 2018

im an angel whose wings have been plucked
an angel who lost her halo
i grew into the darkness called depression
because of this darkness
i hated myself
still do
i wish i could die
i wish i could be loved
i wish i was free
the truth is
it will never happen

being in treatment is very hard. you lose all your freedom, friends, family. i miss selfharm and goin out by myself and driving around, listening to music. losing myself in the stars. i want to do that again. i dont liek having to follow all these rules not being able to do what i want. it *****.

Olivia W Aug 2018

blood rose

stars in the sky
moon on the water
you're on the grass
alone
cry til you cant feel
scream til your throat's raw
no one around to hear the pain
go to the edge of the water
jump in the water
swim to the bottom
sit
let the water fill your lungs
life is a game
that you will never win
dont go up
let it all be over

so my middle name is rose and i did all of this ****, hoping i would die and that no one would save me. sadly in real life someone did save me. it was my best friend. i didnt know she was around but she was. she jumped in after me and brought me to the grass and saved me. i want to be loved like real love, romantic love. i just dont see that playing into my life

Olivia W Aug 2018

that kind of life

why cant i look like the other girls
the girls that are wanted and happy
i want to be pretty
i want love
love like what you see in movies
hold my hand
pull me close
wipe away my tears
hug me from behind
i want to live that kind of life
where i dont need alcohol to be happy
where i dont have to tear open my arms to get rid of pain
where i dont need *** to fit in
where i dont need drugs to be accepted
but that wont happen
at least for me
life will always be cruel nd unfair
thats the life i live

i just want to be loved for who i am

Olivia W Aug 2018

fallen angel

there's this girl
she's never really had friends
bullied her whole life
never accepted for herself
people hated who she was
she learned to hate herself at such a young age
learned about selfharm
tried it, loved it
felt so good
to let out the pain
started drowning herself
slitting her wrists 'til she blacks out
starves herself to be skinny
all of this to be accepted
people take advantage of her kindness
use her as a rebound
trick her into loving them
then leave once they get what they want
that girl
she's me

Olivia W Aug 2018

Broken Mirror

locked bathroom so no one can save you
blast your music to block everyone out
to block out their comments and critisism
grab the blades
all of them
cut
cut til you cant feel anymore
til you have no more visible skin left
you look in the mirror
see a fat, ugly, annoying girl
thats what everyone else sees too
drown yourself in the bath tub
slit your wrists
do anything to get rid of the pain
what else can you do
no one knows
they just hate you
so you hate yourself
you hate this world
you hate everything
so you say
"goodbye"

— The End —